shadowchaser Posted December 20 Report Share Posted December 20 BLOWJOB ETIQUETTE: Written by a woman1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.2. Extension to rule #1 - so if you get one, be grateful3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face 4. Extension to rule #3 - NO, I DON'T have to swallow5. My ears are not handles6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you really WANT puke on your dick?7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now. 9. Extension to rule #8 -"Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you. 11. Leaving me in bed while you play video games immediately afterwards is highly unadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future. 12. If you like how we do it, it is probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude. 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV15. When you hear your friend complain about how they don't get blowjobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning"MAN'S REPLY TO Woman's BJ ETIQUETTE: 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. If you don't we will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.2. Second, swallowing a teaspoonfull of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be thankful I'm not pulling your hair5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again, you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck in your teeth.because you won't have any.6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the dick off your breath we would stick around afterwards. 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning .8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for 5 straight days, you need all the fluids you can get, trust me. 9. You bitch about the taste, but believe me when I tell you we get the shit end of the stick in flavor country.10. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth11. Play with the balls12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better 13. Blowjobs are the only reason we spend time with you instead of our friends, take that away and you are, literally useless. 14. Caress the ass too, we like that15. Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for some action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep"16. If you swallow, then you won't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?17. Come to think of it, maybe I will jerk off & leave you alone. I do it better myself anyway!------------------ close the world...open the next... shadowchaser076@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umassclubberny Posted December 20 Report Share Posted December 20 OH MY FUCKING G-D!!!!!! The guy responce is so fucking funny!!! I've seen the girly one though. In fact, a friend of mine used to hand in a copy for all the guys she started to date. It was a sight to be seen Anyways, I love giving head so I never really complain. Except when I get those damn hairs stuck somewhere down my throat or in my teeth and the damn bastards complain when I stop to get them out. How ungreatful!------------------AnnaBanana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LikmyLipz Posted December 20 Report Share Posted December 20 roflmao niiiiice------------------~LiPz~ aim:LikmyLipzicq:101504929/>http://hometown.aol.com/lipzlipzlipz/LIPZ.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistressbella Posted December 20 Report Share Posted December 20 ENCORE hun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowchaser Posted December 20 Author Report Share Posted December 20 Originally posted by umassclubberny:OH MY FUCKING G-D!!!!!! The guy responce is so fucking funny!!! I've seen the girly one though. In fact, a friend of mine used to hand in a copy for all the guys she started to date. It was a sight to be seen Anyways, I love giving head so I never really complain. Except when I get those damn hairs stuck somewhere down my throat or in my teeth and the damn bastards complain when I stop to get them out. How ungreatful!I love getting head & I never complain. ------------------ close the world...open the next... shadowchaser076@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowchaser Posted December 20 Author Report Share Posted December 20 Originally posted by mistressbella:ENCORE hunThat's in person...------------------ close the world...open the next... shadowchaser076@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the-id Posted December 20 Report Share Posted December 20 thanks for the laughs, i was worried before i got to the guy response, then it was smoothe sailing------------------No bullshit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bodi Posted December 21 Report Share Posted December 21 I always appreciate head, and I even look forward to recipricating! Especially a couple of days afer her period is over....it actually tastes pretty yummy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glowgirl Posted December 21 Report Share Posted December 21 I love that .......good shit!!!!!------------------Hi! How ya doing? where ya been, I had thoughts of you all night long. Can't describe what you did, but you got me so!Aolimer: Glowgirl42000Email: Sugar4@earthlink.net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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