Dating (funny)

[djmikedr]

What to expect on a date with:

A CAUCASIAN WOMAN:

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.

Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position. Then you promise to marry her but will probably abandon the idea.

ITALIAN WOMAN:

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant

Second Date: You meet her parents and her mom makes spaghetti & meatballs

Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3 carat ring

5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex 6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend

JEWISH WOMAN:

First Date: You get a dynamite blowjob.

Second Date: You get another great blowjob.

Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

MALAY WOMAN:

First date: You get to touch those big breasts of hers.

Second date: You get to home base with her.

Third date: You have to promise her that you are gonna get circumcised.

Then you will marry her and find out that you have to support her whole

family. The only consolation is that you get to repeat the procedure three other

times as allowed under Muslim law.

CHINESE WOMAN:

First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happened.

Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing happens again.

Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you have already realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMAN:

First date: Meet her parents.

Second date: Set the date of the wedding.

Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMAN:

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.

Second Date: Your get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.

Third Date: You get to pay her rent.

Tenth Date: She's pregnant.

IRISH WOMAN:

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

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Use email DJmikeDR@aol.com

PM way too slow!

[rachel1997]

Mikey!! That was so good!

My turn:

Christmas Pickup Lines

----------------------

1. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a

sleigh?

2. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?

3. I`ve got something special in the sack for you!

4. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?

5. I know when you've been bad or good ... so let's skip the

small talk, sister!

6. Some of my best toys run on batteries.

7. Interested in seeing the "North Pole"? (Well, that's what the

Mrs. calls it)

8. I see you when you're sleeping ... and you don't wear any

underwear, do you?

9. Screw the "nice" list -- I've got you on my "naughty" list!

10. Wanna join the "Mile High" club?

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This genie grants 3 wishes... Hey I'm not sharing! He's all MINE!

[stacychase]

both of these are great! I loved the irish one... hehehehe....

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Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.

[mfiorellino]

that was hilairious!!!!

so true, so true, so true

[raverdoll]

Originally posted by eviljav666:

i wanna here something about CUBAN WOMEN....i know for a fact that there FREAKS... SHOUT TO THE DEVIL

now what is wrong with CUBAN women? evil????????

[eviljav666]

NOTHING.......IAM CUBAN........ i go to FLORIDA like three times a year...MY parents have a condo there...I LOVE CUBANS...

WHERE THE DOMINOS AT.....KILL SANTERIO IS JAV"S MIDDLE NAME

[lexxxi]

A CANADIAN WOMAN:

First date: She pretends like you aren't even there.

Second date: She lets you kiss her goodnite on the cheek.

Third date: She asks you about your sexual fantasy

Fourth date: She brings some girlfriends over to your place for some fun.

Fifth date: What fifth date.

HeHeHeHe!!!! Only some of us!!!

[djmikedr]

Wait, RUSSIAN WOMEN are missing.

Can anybody add that one?

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Use email DJmikeDR@aol.com

PM way too slow!

[This message has been edited by apotheosis (edited 12-26-2000).]

[eviljav666]

i wanna here something about CUBAN WOMEN....i know for a fact that there FREAKS... SHOUT TO THE DEVIL