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ARE YOU RUSSIAN TEST


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Test for being Russian

YOU KNOW YOUR RUSSIAN IF :

1. Your car costs more than your college education.

2. Your blood has a permanent vodka content level, no matter if you have been drinking or not.

3. You have at least one leather jacket

4. Your idea of a normal Friday or Saturday night is spending it raving with 2000-3000 of your closest friends.

5. Your idea of a love song is Track 1 of the New York Underground Party Volume 3 CD.

6. Things you can't live without include food, water, and a cell phone.

7. Instead of notes during class you write text messages to your friends in Russian font.

8. You come home at 3am and your parents are still out partying with all your friend's parents.

9. People are always asking you if you can get them a cheep deal on something... and you can.

10. Every sentence you say or hear starts with "blyat" and ends with "nahuy".

11. You know the new line of Nokias 3 months before they come out on the market.

12. You can't go to the movies without having to save 20 seats for your late friends cuz they're buying semichki.

13. You don't mind family get togethers because you know the grandmas will be making dinner.

14. Some english words like "use, shop, apply, and etc" permanently become a part of your conversational speach and they start conjugating according to Russian language rules.

15. You know all the cops by their first names.

16. You know someone who works at a dental lab.

17. You are somehow related to most of the people you know.

18. Have a fake Movado because you can't afford a real Rolex.

19. Once in a while you attempt to go to synagogue but you never make it past the door because you meet so many people you haven't seen for so long.

20. On the weekends your place of residence is the pool hall, and every 10 mins the tolstii pon'chik tells you to pick up line 3.

21. You drive a Maxima (or, in the EXTREME worse case an Altima), and your windows are tinted to twice the legal limit.

22. Your Maxima has either a RU (Russia) or UA (Ukraine) sticker on the back bumper.

23. Your Maxima is a 5 speed stick shift, and you laugh at anyone driving an automatic by calling them lohs.

24. At any given moment you are carrying at least a dime bag of shmal'...

26. Your uncle is in the Russian Mafia or is a former employe of the KGB.

27. Lifting a cigarette while drinking coffee in El Greco's counts as an exercise.

28. You know the exact time it takes to get from UA Theater to El Greco's (6 min. 44 seconds).

29. You used to work out, but you don't anymore (you just don't have enough time).

30. You don't do anything during coop (you are comp sci major).

31. If your fake id is the International Driving License who you got through your friend who goes to Kingsburough.

32. You have been kicked out of the JCC at least twice for trying to sneak in without paying.

33. You can be identified as "Russian" by your scent (D&G or Aqua de Gio cologne).

34. The waitresses at El Greco know your order even before you say anything..

35. You met your girl playing strip durak at the last party you went to.

36. Typical Friday/Saturday night phone call to your friends starts with "So what are we doing tonight?"

37. When you are going downtown you ride in one of the last two train carts.

38. Have a personalized license plate.

39. you know u'r russian if you got 20 speeding, red light, stop sign tickets, and no record of it in harrisburg.

40. everyone you know has a ruchka of smirnoff in their trunk

41. you wake up on a saturday morning, unable to remember which one of your frineds gave you a ride home because you couldn't even walk, but see your car standing in the parking (you drove home your self).

42. you start thinking of bread as a good mixer for vodka.

43. you know more than 30 Olgas, Annas, Natashas, and Vikas.

44. you have to tell your parents what channel is "YOUR" HBO, Showtime, Pey-Per-View is on.

45. you're parent have computer "experience" for 8 years already on the resume, yet they been in US for only 4...

46. you ask me each time for the link to russianvodka16/images/ smile.gif

47. You major in computer science or in worst case scenario information systems (but you still barely know how to turn on a computer).

[This message has been edited by raw (edited 02-28-2001).]

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hahhaha, i read this b4, true true, fuck, u reminded me of somethig, i got a liter of Absolut in my trunk from the last party, forgot to put that shit in the freezer. haha yup i know 3 Anas, 2 Vikas, 1 Olchik and 2 Katyas! ding ding ding, tolsty ponchik!!!!

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perf_russ.gif

-U menya seychas odna problema, nauchit tebya dvigat telom-

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Like all stereotypes, most of these are so true LOL.. I make a crappy russian though coz most don't apply to me frown.gif

20. On the weekends your place of residence is the pool hall, and every 10 mins the tolstii pon'chik tells you to pick up line 3.

I don't get that one? tolstiy ponchik?

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Originally posted by mysteriousss:

They forgot another favorite word - PIZDETS LMAO...

LMAO, exactly girl! cwm2.gif

Raw, exc facts about russians, so true, prosto pizdec....... cwm2.gifcwm32.gifcwm35.gifcwm2.gif

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aim:bimerus

e-mail:bimerus@yahoo.com

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

pvd.jpg

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Originally posted by raw:

Test for being Russian

12. You can't go to the movies without having to save 20 seats for your late friends cuz they're buying semichki.

28. You know the exact time it takes to get from UA Theater to El Greco's (6 min. 44 seconds).

B]

Semichki are not a joke. I love semichki. I learned how to crack them and spit them while talking nonstop.

And I think it takes a little longer than that to get to El Greco.(I've never seen a russian kid in the non-smoking section. god damn.)

Ah-huyel. son, kid, bro.

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Originally posted by mysteriousss:

Like all stereotypes, most of these are so true LOL.. I make a crappy russian though coz most don't apply to me frown.gif

20. On the weekends your place of residence is the pool hall, and every 10 mins the tolstii pon'chik tells you to pick up line 3.

I don't get that one? tolstiy ponchik?

i think that's the owner in one of the BK poolhalls. smile.gif

I had that happen to me all the time while hanging out in Star Billiards on Austin street.

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Originally posted by idisyda:

i think that's the owner in one of the BK poolhalls. smile.gif

I had that happen to me all the time while hanging out in Star Billiards on Austin street.

LOL.. I don't even know where Austin st is.... I used to go to either playboy or boardwalk smile.gif Or the place on Ave U and W12th is nice too.. Haven't played pool in a while frown.gif

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Originally posted by mysteriousss:

LOL.. I don't even know where Austin st is.... I used to go to either playboy or boardwalk smile.gif Or the place on Ave U and W12th is nice too.. Haven't played pool in a while frown.gif

in Queens, Forest Hills. smile.gif

one thing to say about this

Prosta pizdets blyat, nu evo naxuye.

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Get off my post bitch..you never had a russian chick cuz they are too hgh class for your bitch ass.

now get the fuck out

Originally posted by apotheosis:

I've been warned about Russian chicks.

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Originally posted by raw:

Get off my post bitch..you never had a russian chick cuz they are too hgh class for your bitch ass.

now get the fuck out

I don't think he was trying to say something bad about US russian girls...but then again...I might be wrong

cwm34.gif

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Originally posted by xhead68:

Semichki are not a joke. I love semichki. I learned how to crack them and spit them while talking nonstop.

And I think it takes a little longer than that to get to El Greco.(I've never seen a russian kid in the non-smoking section. god damn.)

Ah-huyel. son, kid, bro.

LMAO.. Son, kid, bro eto da smile.gif I hear it all the time smile.gif They say it funny too - BRRRO HAHHAHAH.. And I love semechki too smile.gif And about the trip to El Greco - those Maximas can go pretty fast LOL..

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