andre9000 Posted March 22 Report Share Posted March 22 Well, as a typical guy, I think home boy might just be trying to keep his options open. I say that cause if he really was interested, and his phone died, he would call back as soon as he could, instead of a few days later. He could have his "main girl" that he's chillin with, and if that dosen't work out, he's got you in case. Sounds mean, I know, but I'm just telling you straight up the way it works sometimes. If you keep calling him, he'll realize he's got you in his back pocket. If you stop calling, maybe he'll call you in a couple weeks and want to hang out since he "hasn't talked to you in a while". And if now, chances are he's happy doing his thing, and you shouldn't worry about that. Let a playa play, and you just go get yours. P.S. a relationship won't work unless it's 50/50. I know from experience the hard way, and sometimes it sucks, but there's plenty of guys who will be willing to give you 100% of their time, and that's what you deserve. Don't settle for less. Good luck. Peace.------------------Talkin 'bout what we gon' be when we grow up/I said what you wanna be? She said alive/It made me think for a minute then looked in her eyes/I coulda died.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahb Posted March 22 Report Share Posted March 22 Andre, you are right--I just am in denial. Thank you for the truth! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bratnik Posted March 22 Report Share Posted March 22 Originally posted by andre9000:Well, as a typical guy, I think home boy might just be trying to keep his options open. I say that cause if he really was interested, and his phone died, he would call back as soon as he could, instead of a few days later. He could have his "main girl" that he's chillin with, and if that dosen't work out, he's got you in case. Well said!Sounds mean, I know, but I'm just telling you straight up the way it works sometimes. If you keep calling him, he'll realize he's got you in his back pocket. If you stop calling, maybe he'll call you in a couple weeks and want to hang out since he "hasn't talked to you in a while". And if now, chances are he's happy doing his thing, and you shouldn't worry about that. Let a playa play, and you just go get yours. P.S. a relationship won't work unless it's 50/50. I know from experience the hard way, and sometimes it sucks, but there's plenty of guys who will be willing to give you 100% of their time, and that's what you deserve. Don't settle for less. Good luck. Peace.------------------...NYC on the MOVE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
az-tec Posted March 22 Report Share Posted March 22 Sarah.....this guys an idiot....I say this cause I know you and he must be an idiot not to call you back. ~~~ClubPlanet Headz...Sarah is definitely a catch~~~hey...if he doesnt call, you can always give me a ring well after I get back from Miami that is.....HAve a great weekend.-Andy------------------And Everything Will Flow....Flow....Flow.... "The Futures So Bright.......I Gotta Wear Shades"Email: Andy_Zeee@hotmail.comAIM: AztecNY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
systemout74 Posted March 22 Report Share Posted March 22 he's playing.......probably in a nice way,,,but still.....I'm pretty sure that he's trying to make you infatuated with him...you know.....????/////;;;;making you think that you should sweat him,,and him not sweating you......maybe,,,,,go with your heart,,,have fun,,,,,good luck,,,,francesco. ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andre9000 Posted March 23 Author Report Share Posted March 23 Originally posted by sarahb:Andre, you are right--I just am in denial. Thank you for the truth!I try to help, baby. I know your situation, and dude's, cause it's all a big game. Just try not to get too wrapped up in it and have fun. Peace.------------------Talkin 'bout what we gon' be when we grow up/I said what you wanna be? She said alive/It made me think for a minute then looked in her eyes/I coulda died.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueskygirl Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 Originally posted by melichacha:Don't bank on it, but just flow... don't stress, don't chase.. just have fun. - Cuban B - Words to live by.Hugs,BSG------------------Music... is alllll about the groove. Can you feel the groove? Listen...blueskygirl@djcentral.comaolim blueskygirl2001 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahb Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 I know these kind of things are posted all the time, but I need real advice from guys--straight up. Here's the scenario:I met this guy about a year ago. It was a vacation-thing, and we didn't really stay in contact. Recently, we ran into eachother out, and he asked for my number, saying we'd have to get together again. I gave it to him, and he called. We went out one night, had a great time (no, we didn't fuck) and have pretty much played phone tag ever since. He calls and leaves these really sweet messages on my voice mail, but the few times we have talked, his phone dies (and he doesn't call back) or it's really loud where he is and we can't hear eachother, and then I don't hear from him for 3 or 4 days.As stupid and trite as this problem sounds, it's mad frustrating, b/c I don't know whether I am wasting my time or what. I would normally think so, but he leaves very nice messages. I need a guy's opinion on this. Should I just give up on him? I refuse to "chase" him, if the feelings aren't somewhat mutual.Help me, please?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melichacha Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 Don't bank on it, but just flow... don't stress, don't chase.. just have fun. - Cuban B - ------------------ "This is not political - it's just that I demand attention when I walk into the room..." -- Nelly FurtadoAIM: MeliChaCha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drfunk Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 i have a similar experience with a girl who would disconnect and not call back for a couple of days. i'll admit i was sweating her a bit. she was very sweet and nice when we did talk, but would occasionally act shady. i got a bit frustrated and eventually decided to forget the whole thing (a couple of months after i should have). i wouldnt ditch someone just for a weird phone habit, but in my case it might have been a predictor of this persons character. im not maligning any of u who do this, but it is kind of rude. if your frustrated now, u have to ask yourself if its worth it.------------------No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn...Jim Morrison Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idisyda Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 Long Distance Relationships DO NOT WORK.Unless you visit each other every week.------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rld2g Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 don't give up on him!...i'll say that cause i'm one of those guys that ends up playing phone tag a lot(just because of scheduling). His calling and even bothering to leave messages means that he is definately interested. Definately dont give up because you could be missing out on a good thing. You never know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahb Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 It's not a long distance relationship, though. When we ran into eachother recently, we realized we both live here.I hate dwelling over shit like this, but I really like this guy, and would really like to get to know him better, but I don't want to set myself up for disaster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahb Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 Oh, Andy you are too sweet. Thank you! That really cheered me up, coming from the "most sought after" guy on this board! (yeah, I saw your admirers comments!!!!) I know I should just forget about it, but as big as this city is, it is so hard to meet someone 'worth it.' Maybe I am just looking in the wrong places, I don't know--but every guy I meet is one extreme or the other. He's either TOTALLY out there, playing the field, whatever, or he's close to a stalker!!! It's depressing! I need someone to prove me wrong on this little theory, b/c I am close to losing all faith... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackMeOff Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 you want guy's advise? ...here it goes: GET A LIFE!------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahb Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 you want guy's advise? ...here it goes: GET A LIFE!____________________Thanks for the sound advice.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel-o-d Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 Originally posted by melichacha:Don't bank on it, but just flow... don't stress, don't chase.. just have fun.Sarah, that's seriously the best advice out there. Guys are just weird. For over a week now I've been getting daily updates from a girlfriend about some guys she works with; I met him at a dinner and he asked her for my number. Everyday he's pumping her for information about me, saying he's going to call, asking her why I don't call ... enough already! Don't fret it girl; he can't make up his mind, he doesn't deserve your time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahb Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 Guys are wierd. I mean, don't get me wrong--we are ALL wierd somehow, but it seems like guys go through this phase in life where they are so terrified of any sort of commitment that they shy away from anything that even resembles a relationship. And then they completely do a turn around, waking up one day and deciding that it's time to settle down and find "wife material." Relationships get so difficult when you're in your early/mid-20's b/c girls want (SOME sort of) substance and guys just want the girl he can call occasionally and she'll come running. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 To Andre's comment.. I hear what you're saying but why all these games? If she doesn't call him for a few days, he'll call her.. And if she does, he won't? I mean, I know that's the way it is with most ppl.. But to me it seems so dumb playing all these stupid games...... I just wish ppl could be more upfront and straightforward! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twilo Beauty Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 Originally posted by sarahb:Guys are wierd. I mean, don't get me wrong--we are ALL wierd somehow, but it seems like guys go through this phase in life where they are so terrified of any sort of commitment that they shy away from anything that even resembles a relationship. And then they completely do a turn around, waking up one day and deciding that it's time to settle down and find "wife material." Relationships get so difficult when you're in your early/mid-20's b/c girls want (SOME sort of) substance and guys just want the girl he can call occasionally and she'll come running.Blah blah blah ...ok can we enjoy the weather now?!-iliana ------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungee Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 Originally posted by sarahbI mean, don't get me wrong--we are ALL wierd somehow, but it seems like guys go through this phase in life where they are so terrified of any sort of commitment that they shy away from anything that even resembles a relationship. And then they completely do a turn around, waking up one day and deciding that it's time to settle down and find "wife material." Relationships get so difficult when you're in your early/mid-20's b/c girls want (SOME sort of) substance and guys just want the girl he can call occasionally and she'll come runningStory of my life, nobody around me still believes I got hooked up they still think it's some sort of a joke. I did a complete turnaround in a matter of months then again I got lucky. Aint a whole lotta 'wife' material out there and I aint one to settle. That's the key. Don't ever settle. Better to be alone than settle. ------------------Sticks and Stones may break my bones..but..words..can't..hurt..meeeee...so there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel-o-d Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 Sarah - I don't know if I agree with you completely though it does seem like things work out that way. I think all of us are scared of commitment and relationship, but b/c of how society is institutionalized (man's prerogative) it's okay for guys to claim that as an excuse.Ehh ... I say, date older guys (at least 6 years older) if you want something serious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahb Posted March 23 Report Share Posted March 23 mel-o-d, You're right--everyone is scared of commitment in some way or another. And that's okay. But being a "player" and playing games is just getting old already. Unless it's obvious that both people are commitment-phobes and the game playing is mutual, all it does is cause a dead-end relationship. I just wish for honesty, I guess. Rather than beat around the bush about it, be honest about expectations. That way, both people know what they are getting themselves involved in. Maybe I'm just getting old...who knows!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andre9000 Posted March 23 Author Report Share Posted March 23 Originally posted by mysteriousss:To Andre's comment.. I hear what you're saying but why all these games? If she doesn't call him for a few days, he'll call her.. And if she does, he won't? I mean, I know that's the way it is with most ppl.. But to me it seems so dumb playing all these stupid games...... I just wish ppl could be more upfront and straightforward!I don't mean playing games is cool. What I meant is that the girl/guy thing is all a big game. So have fun with it, don't get all twisted over some dude/chick. Maybe that's my jaded opinion cause some of us are scared of commitment perhaps. But there are several kinds of guys out there, you just need to realize it: 1. The guy who never had a serious relationship, but is kinda a stalker-type, and if he finds out you're interested in him, he'll annoy you to death and pester you till you hate him. 2. The playa playa who, like my man Jigga says has "a main chick, a mistress, and a young bitch, forget it". The women have to be agressive on him, cause he got so much coochie comin his way he needs a catchers mitt. 3. The shy guy who might not call when you want him to, cause he's scared. May be pretty cool, you just need to reassure him a lot. 4. The desperate guy who will get with whatever he can. There may be other types, that's all I can think of now, from the guys I know. Personally I'm most like #2, just because I think if a guy is confident in his game and decent looking, girls like that and chase you down. I haven't had to do much to get numbers and stuff. Every girl likes a different kind of guy, though. Just don't pour everything into one guy who you don't even know well, fantisizing about how it could be and shit, cause that will just break your heart. Play it cool and things will work out the way they should. Peace.------------------Talkin 'bout what we gon' be when we grow up/I said what you wanna be? She said alive/It made me think for a minute then looked in her eyes/I coulda died.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andre9000 Posted March 23 Author Report Share Posted March 23 Originally posted by sarahb:mel-o-d, But being a "player" and playing games is just getting old already. B]Real playas don't play the games, we run them. It's those pussy guys who play them. If you're tryin to holla at a true playa, just realize that you're only one of many. If you're trying to be monagomous, find a different kinda guy...------------------Talkin 'bout what we gon' be when we grow up/I said what you wanna be? She said alive/It made me think for a minute then looked in her eyes/I coulda died.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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