Bisexuality

[cathyo]

Why does it seem that sooooo many girls claim to be bisexual?? Flat out, I don't believe it. I'm not just saying here or on boards in general, I mean anywhere. I can't tell you how many girls I've known who would talk shit about how they wanted women soooo bad and when the opportunity presented itself they ran away!!

I just don't see why they do it. Is it because they feel it will make them seem more popular, hip, liberated, etc...?

As for me, I've kissed a girl, but it doesn't count since it was my best friend and her b/f dared us to when we were about 15 or 16 . I have entertained the idea of going with a girl but it has not happened...who knows if it ever will. Not to mention, I don't know how Mike would respond and my relationship is not something I'm willing to risk.

That's another point...all guys say it's their fantasy...but I've known a few who were there with their g/f's and it demolished the entire relationship.

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~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~

AIM: cathyoNYC

[translucent]

While the recent increase cultural acceptance of female bisexuality allows some women to explore without the usual stigma, many others do it because it's fashionable.

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[djmikedr]

The Apotheosis shall speak:

Most girls claim bi-curious because they want to be accepted and society deems that good (I mean we ARE talking a male dominated society folks).

Whenever a girl says something like that I follow up with a question or 2, and instantly it shows they dont know what the hell they are talking about.

ALTHO- I will say this: alot of girls are curious about a womans touch vs a mans touch, weather it be just holding or slight "kissy kisses".

(note: the touch and kissy kisses are especially part of the whole 'e' scene).

and CATHY! I dont feel special anymore, say hello sometime.

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DJmikeDR@aol.com aim: DJmikeDR

[This message has been edited by apotheosis (edited 06-28-2001).]

[beautious1]

I agree with Translucent...

Some girls advertise they are bisexual for superficial reasons... Whether it be to be more popular with the guys, or to seem sexier. It is sort of a FAD lately. It's annoying, I know...

But answer me this question:

If a man is gay, yet he has never slept with another man, is he still gay?

If a woman is straight, yet has never had sex with a man, is she still straight?

My point is, I believe you can be bisexual without ever having had an encounter... It is how you feel inside, and not necessarily your actions that matter...

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[cathyo]

Originally posted by apotheosis:

and CATHY! I dont feel special anymore, say hello sometime.

I'm sorry!! I know I'm terrible...I am very lucky to have friends that understand that just because I'm not around doesn't mean I've forgotten them!!

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~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~

AIM: cathyoNYC

[cathyo]

Originally posted by beautious1:

But answer me this question:

If a man is gay, yet he has never slept with another man, is he still gay?

If a woman is straight, yet has never had sex with a man, is she still straight?

My point is, I believe you can be bisexual without ever having had an encounter... It is how you feel inside, and not necessarily your actions that matter...

Very good point, I'm sure that is the case many times. But, it's just one of those things (hard to explain) when you just KNOW someone is bullshitting you

I'm just trying to understand the motivation behind it.

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~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~

AIM: cathyoNYC

[flying_high]

Thank you Cathyo for bringing up this topic. I had this conversation/argument with a certain person on this board already...and I'll state my point again. I don’t believe it either!!! So many girls nowadays claim to be bisexual and having had all those experiences. Maybe they did …but I also think that for some of them it resulted out of curiosity rather than lust. I also think that it has become such a status of liberality and being hip, cool and sexy that a lot of girls feel more interesting if they say they are or had bisexual encounters. Anyway, I think it’s sad if that is the only reason to enter into such a ‘relationship’…I mean it’s the same as faking an orgasm and/or having sex with someone just to be socially accepted. BS that….if you really feel attracted to a woman…go for it, hey the more power to you…but no one should pretend to be, in order to put some luminous light on oneself. Be who and whatever you are – but, girls, be true to yourself!!!

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AIM: flying77high

Email:flying77high@yahoo.com

[petrol]

OK, This topic has always been of interest to me as a cultural anthropologist. I think there are numerous contributing factors, both biological and cultural.

Someone mentioned the 'trendiness' of it, I think that's more related to the testing and pushing of boundaries which you see in the clubbing age group than anything else. Hence, as we grow older and move through these different stages of sexual exploration, we'll see a rise in this behavior. It's relative; to the outside observer this is fairly normal behavior for 20-something women. From first-person view, we see alot of it happening suddenly.

Lesbian behavior is also tacitly condoned by our culture, especially in the Club culture where self-expression is generally embraced. Why it is more acceptable than gay male behavior is still beyond me, but witness the porn industry. Straight men and women both get turned on by lesbian sexuality, while they don't get generally get turned-on by two men. (although I've known a handful of women who found the idea exciting). So in an environment which doesn't judge a women for exploring her sexuality, it should come as no surprise that women do. It can even garner a little positive attention. The same environment still doesn't encourage it in men, and its no surprise to see less of it. (again, not that its not there... just less than if it were as accepted as lesbianism).

Finally, there is a biological end to this as well. I can't cite the study, but I do recall hearing one which came to the conclusion that women's sexuality is more fluid than men's. From an evolutionary perspective, this can be explained as a by-product of co-evolution. The male is larger, more aggressive, and has the penis. In short, as long as the male has the drive to reproduce and can catch the female, then the species will survive.

Yes, it is devoid of sentiment and emotion, but the bottom line in this scenario is reproduction, not love. This also leaves plenty of room in the life of the female to enjoy sex for the sake of pleasure without the need for her partner to be male. Men, on the other hand, have heterosexuality more concretely wired into their brains, as the biological imperative needs some incentive to keep the babies coming.

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I'm in search of myself. If you find me before I arrive, please have me wait.

AOL IM: petrol01

[djmikedr]

Originally posted by beautious1:

But answer me this question:

If a man is gay, yet he has never slept with another man, is he still gay?

If a woman is straight, yet has never had sex with a man, is she still straight?

My point is, I believe you can be bisexual without ever having had an encounter... It is how you feel inside, and not necessarily your actions that matter...

Are you a murderer if you have not pulled the trigger? Just for thinking it then?

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DJmikeDR@aol.com aim: DJmikeDR

[djmikedr]

basically Petrol, it ALL COMES DOWN TO SEX.

Like I always say.

Dam human beings are getting easier to predict as I get older. Cycles.

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DJmikeDR@aol.com aim: DJmikeDR

[This message has been edited by apotheosis (edited 06-28-2001).]

[tastyt]

Originally posted by apotheosis:

Are you a murderer if you have not pulled the trigger? Just for thinking it then?

Ok Mr Smarty-Pants, I'll counter that...

In the past, when I told people I was bi but hadn't yet had sex with a woman, they'd get really confused. How could you be bi unless you've had sex with both men and women?

Of course that's pretty silly, because if you followed that logic, you could not define a virgin's sexuality. Just because, say, a young girl who's solely attracted to boys hasn't had sex yet doesn't mean she's not straight... right???

Sex isn't just about a physical act(well, sometimes it is)... you can't neglect the emotional aspect to it.

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[petrol]

Well, yeah, it kind of does all come down to sex. But it's not in a vacuum.

Sex is social, and humans live in groups. Sex is awarded to those with prestige, or food, or power. So its all part of a web and to suggest its purely sex is oversimplifying.

but to address Cathy's question... I think she's seeing so many women claim bi-sexuality because it's a fairly normal human condition to find attraction to both sexes, and in an accepting atmosphere, young women are more likey to be willing to explore and express that attraction.

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I'm in search of myself. If you find me before I arrive, please have me wait.

AOL IM: petrol01

[buttcheex]

Originally posted by beautious1:

I agree with Translucent...

Some girls advertise they are bisexual for superficial reasons... Whether it be to be more popular with the guys, or to seem sexier. It is sort of a FAD lately. It's annoying, I know...

But answer me this question:

If a man is gay, yet he has never slept with another man, is he still gay?

If a woman is straight, yet has never had sex with a man, is she still straight?

My point is, I believe you can be bisexual without ever having had an encounter... It is how you feel inside, and not necessarily your actions that matter...

All you have to say is "I eat bush"

instead of all that prose

sheesh

[petrol]

Originally posted by buttcheex:

All you have to say is "I eat bush"

instead of all that prose

sheesh

That implies she's had past experience and she was saying that you don't have to experience it to know.

sheesh

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I'm in search of myself. If you find me before I arrive, please have me wait.

AOL IM: petrol01

[tastyt]

Originally posted by petrol:

but to address Cathy's question... I think she's seeing so many women claim bi-sexuality because it's a fairly normal human condition to find attraction to both sexes, and in an accepting atmosphere, young women are more likey to be willing to explore and express that attraction.

I completely agree with you on this. I have a theory that nearly everyone is to some extent bisexual. Based solely on personal observation, of course.

Of course there is some "trendiness" to it. But the girls who are bi but don't act on it are probably not all full of shit. They may be afraid. It's one thing to admit to an attraction, but to actually go downtown on another woman... that's crossing a major boundary. Not everyone's willing to deviate that far from the norm.

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[cathyo]

Originally posted by buttcheex:

All you have to say is "I eat bush"

instead of all that prose

sheesh

OK, I may not agree with this post but...it made me laugh *really* hard. Don't take that the wrong way beautious1, like I said, not that I agree but...that was funny

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~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~

AIM: cathyoNYC

[mrblonde55]

Its funny to see this topic, cuz I have a freind in school who used to party hard circa disco 2000 & d-tour, but now has stopped. When I mentioned hooking up with another girl she laughed in off jokingly saying "That sooooo 1997"

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The fame, it was like a drug......but what was more like a drug were the drugs.

How do you shoot the Devil in the back?.....

What if you miss?

[xchice]

I agree wit tastyT, I used to chill with these five wild ass girls. We would get drunk and just kiss each other all night long. Nothing ever went farther then kissing. We all lost contact with each other. They were my only BI experiences. I really don't know if Im bi or not. I know that I find women very attractive. I loooove looking at a fine woman's body, buuuut I don't know if I would ever go downtown on another woman.Im just confussed

[buttcheex]

Originally posted by petrol:

That implies she's had past experience and she was saying that you don't have to experience it to know.

sheesh

you TOO?!?

this is getting really outta hand people

if you are one with the trim... i.e. you Eat The Bush just say it... .

9 out of 10 every guy here would still mount you girls.

someone call me a doctor.

[buttcheex]

Originally posted by xchice:

I agree wit tastyT, I used to chill with these five wild ass girls. We would get drunk and just kiss each other all night long. Nothing ever went farther then kissing. We all lost contact with each other. They were my only BI experiences. I really don't know if Im bi or not. I know that I find women very attractive. I loooove looking at a fine woman's body, buuuut I don't know if I would ever go downtown on another woman.Im just confussed

When I went to drug rehab (for the 3rd time. ..still can't seem to lick that dust habit. .) I noticed pamphlets in the lobby with two boys holding handings.. pages later they called this BICURIOUS

perhaps, you're BICURIOUS?

[flying_high]

lol.....hahahaha....sorry but you Americans just make me laugh so hard here. So, that means because you find a woman attractive (but you've never really acted upon it) you consider yourself bi. OMG...maybe it's a definition thing...but I would only consider myself bi if I had had a sexual or even kissing experience with another woman, would have enjoyed it and got sexually excited and would tend to swing from boyfriend to girlfriend. If I had one because I felt that way at the moment (pure curiosity or whatever) but then didn't really enjoy it...I wouldn't consider myself bi. For me, being bi means that I feel sexually (and not only esthetically) attracted to both men and women and enjoy the physical interaction with both gender.

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AIM: flying77high

Email:flying77high@yahoo.com

[This message has been edited by flying_high (edited 06-29-2001).]

[littled]

some of you guys made alot of good points here... i have nothing to prove to anybody...i am what i am, whether you afix a label to me or not-however if you associate most of the girls who call to be "bi-" as what was stated above (-curious), then i must be a full blown dyke.

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~ you see house is a feeling ~

~ i am the light

that shines...

yes, you can have it all

...follow me. ~

[translucent]

One of the general problems with most Americans is that they feel the need to label and catalog everything because they are uncomfortable living in a world of gray. They need everything to be black and white because to them, making their own decisions is cumbersome. By definition, human sexuality is more dynamic than static. Pinning the "Bi" tail on this proverbial donkey is a pain in the ass because the donkey isn't standing still.

Regardless, most of this post drifted away from cathyo's original questions. Yes, many women try-bi for attention. Yes, in a commited relationship, bringing in a another woman might ruin it. One thing that most men don't factor in when they fantasize about another woman joining in is jealousy. If the relationship is relatively casual, there's no harm in it. If there's love involved, it's a different story.

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[6pmc6]

when any gender discovers something has become attractive to the other sex (clothes, attitude, particular look) it becomes immeditaly trendy. Since guys are into bi girls, there ya go. That's why these mysterious bi girls are popping up all over. It's an insult to the real ones!

Pete

[sanjay]

I'm not saying that you can't be bi and have never had an encounter by any means..its completley plausible...however, i do believe girls say this just to get attention, be "cool", etc.....And just for the record, my fantasies dont involve 2 women together.

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