Take My test to see if you are a true GUIDO!!!!

[notallthere]

AHHHAHAHHAH dsoooooo fucking funny!!

[johnnyblackroc]

All quality characteristics of a guido, but what about these:

1. You're 5'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, and you still cry when your mother yells at you.

2. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit 2 mortadella "sangwiches", 4 oranges 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular paper lunch bag.

3. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 Black Mercury.

4. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.

5. You consider dunking a pack of Stella D'Oro "S" cookies in milk as a nutritious breakfast.

6. You live in a 900 square foot bungalow, but still have 2 kitchens (one in the basement).

7. Your 2 best friends are your cousin and

brother-in-law's brother-in-law.

8. You are a card-carrying VIP at more than five after hours clubs.

9. You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather or

grandmother.

10. A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has earned you the title of "professore" among your aunts.

11. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet-hall owners.

12. You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.

13. If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9", it is presumed his mother had an affair.

14. There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.

15. You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

You REALLY REALLY know you're a guido when:

You know what a rice ball really is.

Christmas Eve.....only fish....

Have a gold chain, cross and your horn...

You have a stupid nickname.

"Fuhggetaboutit"

Your Mom's meatballs are the best.

You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.

Plastic on the furniture is normal.

You've called someone a "mamaluke".

You own a Pinky Ring.

And you understand, "Bada Bing, Bada Boom"

[notallthere]

haha thats a good one

[helixx]

Wow, don't think i could have added anything to that test. Simply brilliant. even if i'd studied, i'd still have failed that one.

[nickymidnite]

Originally posted by gropasaurus

To all MY Guidos out there, may the sauce be with you.

-THE GREAT ONE

And always with you...

[l3lueyes]

haha.. i just realizied that i'm surrounded by ALL 100% guidos in my life.. shit.. this test made me laugh

[MikeGofFAME]

i can get a couple more

you turn down a meal from your grandmother and she no lika you no more

you WILL be the one and only in your very large family to graduate college, or some form of it

the fam calls you only by the field of work you decide to follow

(only if its not your fathers business)ex: "hey chef how you doin, you know theres alot of money to be made in what your doin mikey, good job, eh"

it takes you longer to get ready than it does to cook gravy

sunday dinner starts the same time you get home from sat night

christmas decorations always stay up longer than they should

you have never eaten at olive garden!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your relative is in jail for unknown reasons

you have more than 3 relatives within 4 square miles, wait better make that 3

a garden is half your barkyard

"sonny had 5 fingers, but he only used three"

[laurie619]

Originally posted by MikeGofFAME

sunday dinner starts the same time you get home from sat night

BEST ONE YET.... but you guys forgot eating cold PASTINA for breakfast. . .

[tizzah508]

:laugh:

I am going to go watch a Bronx Tale now.....and I miss being home and ALL THE GUIDOs

[jerseyguidette]

This is soooo true!! My ex had all these qualities! Lol!! Then all teh guys i date are Guidos!! Gotta love em!!