notallthere Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 AHHHAHAHHAH dsoooooo fucking funny!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyblackroc Posted March 7 Report Share Posted March 7 All quality characteristics of a guido, but what about these:1. You're 5'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, and you still cry when your mother yells at you.2. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit 2 mortadella "sangwiches", 4 oranges 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular paper lunch bag.3. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 Black Mercury.4. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.5. You consider dunking a pack of Stella D'Oro "S" cookies in milk as a nutritious breakfast.6. You live in a 900 square foot bungalow, but still have 2 kitchens (one in the basement).7. Your 2 best friends are your cousin andbrother-in-law's brother-in-law.8. You are a card-carrying VIP at more than five after hours clubs.9. You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather orgrandmother.10. A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has earned you the title of "professore" among your aunts.11. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet-hall owners.12. You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.13. If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9", it is presumed his mother had an affair.14. There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.15. You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.You REALLY REALLY know you're a guido when:You know what a rice ball really is.Christmas Eve.....only fish....Have a gold chain, cross and your horn...You have a stupid nickname."Fuhggetaboutit"Your Mom's meatballs are the best.You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.Plastic on the furniture is normal.You've called someone a "mamaluke".You own a Pinky Ring.And you understand, "Bada Bing, Bada Boom" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notallthere Posted March 7 Report Share Posted March 7 haha thats a good one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helixx Posted March 7 Report Share Posted March 7 Wow, don't think i could have added anything to that test. Simply brilliant. even if i'd studied, i'd still have failed that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickymidnite Posted March 8 Report Share Posted March 8 Originally posted by gropasaurus To all MY Guidos out there, may the sauce be with you.-THE GREAT ONE And always with you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
l3lueyes Posted March 8 Report Share Posted March 8 haha.. i just realizied that i'm surrounded by ALL 100% guidos in my life.. shit.. this test made me laugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeGofFAME Posted March 8 Report Share Posted March 8 i can get a couple moreyou turn down a meal from your grandmother and she no lika you no moreyou WILL be the one and only in your very large family to graduate college, or some form of itthe fam calls you only by the field of work you decide to follow(only if its not your fathers business)ex: "hey chef how you doin, you know theres alot of money to be made in what your doin mikey, good job, eh"it takes you longer to get ready than it does to cook gravysunday dinner starts the same time you get home from sat nightchristmas decorations always stay up longer than they shouldyou have never eaten at olive garden!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!your relative is in jail for unknown reasonsyou have more than 3 relatives within 4 square miles, wait better make that 3a garden is half your barkyard "sonny had 5 fingers, but he only used three" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurie619 Posted March 9 Report Share Posted March 9 Originally posted by MikeGofFAME sunday dinner starts the same time you get home from sat nightBEST ONE YET.... but you guys forgot eating cold PASTINA for breakfast. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tizzah508 Posted March 9 Report Share Posted March 9 :laugh: I am going to go watch a Bronx Tale now.....and I miss being home and ALL THE GUIDOs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerseyguidette Posted March 11 Report Share Posted March 11 This is soooo true!! My ex had all these qualities! Lol!! Then all teh guys i date are Guidos!! Gotta love em!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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