Drugs, Music, Clubs, & "CLUB FRIENDS" * * * It's all a PHASE!!!

[innocence]

Hi there, just basically looking to vent...

I have been posting on this board since '98, before clubs, music, and drugs became mainstream. It is so funny how much has changed in the past 3 1/2 years.

I remember when I first got into the scene, how the pills worked so well...My first time was just amazing, as they usually are. After that I fell into the trap we call "Club Life". I would go out to Factory, walk in with like 4 of my friends, and walk out having met about 15 new ones. Oh the love, oh the comradory, oh the HANGOVERS. It was great, like a whole new world, almost like a whole new life. I started dressing differently, acting differently, PRETTY MUCH A WHOLE NEW PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE. For over a year and a half, I went out to SF, got fucked up, and thought nothing of it. As long as I was having a good time, it didn't matter. As long as JP was playing MY love is your love for 45 minutes, it made it all worth it. It started with just pills, and I would say "Nothing up the nose," that lasted about 10 moths...Then I met K, and coke...

Ketamine was just an entirely different level of FUCKED UP...If being fucked up on E was a 6, then being fucked up on E and K was a 66. It was pretty gross now that I think of it. After about 10 times doing K it got to the point where me and my friends were buying jars after Factory @ 4:30 in the afternoon on SUNDAY. YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WHEN MOST PEOPLE ARE HAVING SUNDAY DINNER, AND YOU ARE GOING CRAZY LOOKING FOR JARS. So that was the last time I did K.

On to coke...WHAT A WASTE...See I don't drink, never have, probably never will. If you don't drink with coke, don't bother doing it. ALL IT DID WAS PUT ME IN A BAD MOOD. Every time I did it, BAD MOOD. So why did I continue to do it you ask? I guess just to do something...When you are continually getting fucked up, either smoking, tripping or whatever, it becomes almost second nature, and being sober is boring, especially if you're out.

Anyway, where am I going with this??? You'll see...

Anyway, it's now 2001...I am currently DJ'ing a couple of spots on Long Island, in the Hamptons and in the city...And you would think that I was extremely happy...But honestly, I'm bored with all of it. Getting dressed up to go out, BS guestlists, CRAPPY COMMERCIAL CROWDS only wanting to hear songs they know. It's all so redundant, so boring. I get paid good money to do something I used to LOVE so much, and now I can't wait for the nights to be over so i can go home and SLEEP. I have maybe taken 4 pills in the last 10 months, none of them hit me at all...And it's like "WHAT's THE POINT?"

Here's my point...

I see all these new clubbers, so gung ho about going out, and getting fucked up, and getting that new song, YOU START TO LOSE TRACK OF REALITY. The drugs wear off, and eventually don't even work anymore, by that time you have to do more and more just to get a little fucked up. BE CAREFUL, don't dick over your real friends for a CLUB, Don't break up with your girlfriend because she doesn't like the path you've chosen. Basically, hold onto reality, and remember...

IT"S ALL A PHASE

You will move onto bigger and better things, and what was once so important will one day seem so insignificant.

Have fun, be safe, and enjoy it while you can...

innocence

[tastyt]

Bitter much???

3 1/2 years in the scene? As far as I'm concerned, you're a newbie yourself!!!

[cesarleo]

Why are you all into getting fucked up might I ask??? It's all a phase b/c that's what you made it. Some of us on here love to go out without doing drugs.....I myself have experimented with drugs but have never made it a requirement when going out to clubs or anywhere else for that matter. Most of the time I go out it's just to have fun period! I don't see why you DJ either if you don't enjoy it anymore......there are a million other DJ's who would love to get a spot at a place you may spin at. I have been going out since 97 and haven't slowed down simply b/c I have no reason too. As long as I'm still having fun.....why not!? I'm sure if drugs played a heavy part in my enjoyment when I'm out.....well then of course it's simply a phase b/c I'm there for the wrong reasons!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I hope this applies to those who reflect an pattern like your own b/c it certainly doesn't apply to me.

[beyourself420]

Just a phase...?? Maybe to you.....music is my life, the dance floor is my life and promoting dope parties is my life. I go out every Friday til DT gets off the decks @ 10 am, every Saturday til JP gets off @ ???.....no drugs at all. (Unless you consider herb a drug.) I have been promoting in this business for almost 6 yrs now and can count on both hands how many times I have dropped a pill. This scene is not about drugs and getting fucked up. If that is why you got into it I suggest you get out. Its about music, dancing and and chillin with your peeps. Its about hearing that track sending so much energy thru you that every hair on your body stands up. Its about leaving all the world's drama outside for 6 hrs or so. Its about being at a phat party with no worries.....its about Being Yourself

[Xpander]

lol.....sigh

next time around, try it without the drugs like some of us...

Might see it from a different perspective, mate...

[siceone]

Originally posted by xpander

lol.....sigh

next time around, try it without the drugs like some of us...

Might see it from a different perspective, mate...

AMEN

-C

[nightgroover]

hey, drugs can add some more fun to going out but don't make them the essence of going out and you will enjoy a good party all your life!

[jennEfer]

Leaving drugs out of the mix puts a whole new perspective on nightlife. It sounds like your whole reason for going to clubs was so that you have something to keep you active while doing your drugs. Its people like you who uphold the overall perspective on clubs being drug havens. I myself am a sober clubber who is there for the love of the music, and for nothing else but to dance and have fun (and be able to remember it the next day).

[arcticshdw]

Everything is a phase if your reason for doing it is a fleeting concept. Old gives way to new as one changes...something of which is personal...No two people live the same, so I give respect to those who do what they must to keep Themselves happy. The thing that may differ to me is the true underlying current of loving the music. As long as there are places that play the music I love, then let me ride the surf the wave of happiness...and when I hit the shore I'm going back out again...

Save me a spot on the dancefloor; cause if you love it, I'll see you there

[msoprano]

Originally posted by xpander

lol.....sigh

next time around, try it without the drugs like some of us...

Might see it from a different perspective, mate...

you got that right......when i first got into the scene all i wanted to do was xtc but now its totally different....i go out for the beats and just to be out and have fun and dance around. If youre going out just to do drugs then you are out for all the wrong reasons.

[hoke]

To all the replies... true.

If you have to get fucked up to love it, you don't really love it. Met a girl tonight who loves house... when she's drunk. Sorry girl, but you don't love house -- you love booze.

Hats off to all the people on this board who know their own hearts. We're one in a million, I feel.

[siphor]

Taking drugs to feel good is the Phase!

[dialectics]

"My attorney never grasped the concept, often espoused by former addicts, that you can get just as high without drugs as you can with them. And neither have I, for that matter....."

- Hunter S. Thompson as Raoul Duke, Fear + Loathing in Las Vegas

The drugs are the phase. You get over it when you're tired of having e- friends making plans to do the things you never do, when the "revelations" you learn about yourself when dropping all start with "i was rolling and...." or when you can't party anymore because even though you're on the comp list, you still spent $80 on pillz.

Fact of the matter is that reality is so bright, even without drugs. Take away ecstasy and you still have 5000 of your new best friends jumping to the same beat.

Being a dj demystifies the scene a bit - once you know (or think you know) what's going on behind the decks and behind closed doors you see what makes the scene. But you still have the choice to play to the crowd or play what you love, or hope to be one of the fortunate few who can do both.

Sure the scene is mainstream now - but ask yourself this question: Is that really a problem? Sure there are people who are far less discerning then yourself - you don't have to go to where they go. Rave is the only sub-culture I have experienced where newbies are welcomed with open arms. Trust me, when you started you were just as ignorant as the are - we all were. Then we grew up. Some of them will too, and they will be the ones buying your mixtapes.

Yes the scene is mainstream now but that just means that you have to search a little harder to find the underground. Yes the scene is mainstream now, but that means that more and more people have the potential to witness the awesome power that is true house music. Music is a feeling - if other people like what you like does that make it bad? Are we in a contest to see who is more underground then who? Go with how you feel becuse right now ALL of the options are there. It is the underground that will move itself and two years later the mainstream will latch on - and we will just move even more forward. Its worked that way since jazz - think about it - they use jazz to sell cars and they charge $45 a head to get into blue note - but there is also smalls at 6am where real jazz lives.

if you don't like your job then quit. If you're making good money but you're not happy, what the hell is the point?

I hope you find your center, and the life you lead and the path you choose is exactly as you want it to be.

Rob

[bigpoppanils]

well said

[fuclubkidd]

so...INNOCENCE...u say that u have been posting since '98, but u only have 40 posts...isnt that strange! and u say that u have been in the "scene" since 1998 b4 it was mainstream LMFAO, the scene was mainstream in 1998 and u said it urself in ur post by saying that u would wait for JP to start playing whitney houston for 45 minutes, what the hell is more mainstream than whitney, hmmmm maybe Venga Boys LMAO. in my opinion u dont know what the "scene" is because anybody that is into the "scene" knows thats its not a "scene" its a way a life, a culture, a family...do ur drugs, drink ur drink, im gonna b on the dance floor dancing my fuckin ass off....peace out!

[Promota531]

the one thing i can't stand about some "clubbers" is that i'll wait mad late for them to go out with me and then, when the can't find pills they tell me they don't want to come out cuz they aren't gonna have a good time. that is the biggest load of BS i ever heard. drugs don't make u have a good time u make urself have a good time. i love clubs i love the music and i love to dance. drugs aren't in that equation. yea i have done them but its a different kind of fun. it varies from time to time also. i know when im sober i will have a great time no matter what and im glad that i know that. all i know is that clubs are my way of life and i dont think that they are just a phase.

innocence, i am glad that u can share ur experience with us. i feel bad that everyone made fun of you when all you did was tell us ur story.

[Rad_Z]

Innocence:

Im glad that you did share your story to the board.

There are probably a lot of ppl that read it, and who are in the same situation that you have been in. This "might" open thier eyes.

However, those people that responded to your thread are the people (me included) that see going out to clubs and the music in a different light than you. SOme dont use drugs, others probably don't get fawked up every weekend, and if some do, they do it in moderation, and not the main reason for going out.

SO basically we share a different point of view for entering the club scene than you might have.

As an example: I started hitting major clubs like 5 or 6 years ago.

Got into them not because of the drugs but because i actually always enjoyed techno-ish/dancing music. Throughout those years, ive had my share of anti-club feelings, saying something similar what you said, that club scence went mainstream and its not the same anymore, but then i come to my senses because if you enjoy doing something, you shouldn't let other ppls presence affect you at all.

SO sometimes i go on a no-club streak for 2 or 3 months, because of eral life problems or school or a job, but i always end up going to one eventually because its something that i LOVE and can have the most fun.

Returning back to your post:

You seem to have a good head on your shoulder, that you finally realized that going to clubs just to do drugz gets boring and is not you. WHen you said "where me and my friends were buying jars after Factory @ 4:30 in the afternoon on SUNDAY" you actually realized where you ended up during your years of clubbing and you didnt like it. That is major! Now you have see if what you are doing feels right and if it is for the right reasons.

Rad_

[mugwump]

Hey..

I've been going "Clubbing" since I was 15..

(I'm 28 now)

Music's changed..

Drug's changed..

and over all I HAVE CHANGED!

I'm a smarter (more deaf) clubber now and if I have learned anything from all my years of enjoying the nightlife it's this:

It's all about the music!

(Everything else are just details!)

love it or leave it.

(and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out )

[sweetfun]

I hope all the drugs stuff is a phase for you, but the friends thing is no different than every day life. You meet people, your read them, you make a friend or not. For me, I only become friends with people I think are true and long lasting. I met my closet friend at a club and we are still together 10 year now. He is everything to me.

[sdeelite]

Originally posted by hoke

To all the replies... true.

If you have to get fucked up to love it, you don't really love it. Met a girl tonight who loves house... when she's drunk. Sorry girl, but you don't love house -- you love booze.

Amen to that! I luv house because I luv house, straight up...it's the most energetic, spiritual, dope music out there, and if u can't appreciate it sober, you'll never really appreciate it. I understand however what Justin is saying...for a lot of us it did start out with the music AND the drugs, which for me started in '97 (I was there for the my love is your love phase too which was good while it lasted)...I go out now for the music, to dance, have a good time, etc., not so I can roll my face off in the corner some where and "love" lots of ppl I don't know just because they are fucked up out of their minds too. But the drugs do become a bad routine once you get into that whole thing, an obsession if u will, and for a while you wonder how you'll ever get out of it, how you'll ever go out and enjoy yourself without it. But I have triumphed over that, and lots of ppl have, and you can't let all the fucked up memories of the past ruin possible good memories of the future. It doesn't have to be "a phase" if you don't let it be...things change (especially witihin this scene), that's the way life is, hardly anything ever stays the same. But change does not always have to be a bad thing if you have a positive attitude about it.

And for those of you who never needed the drugs, I give u props, I really do, it really is all about the music. But you must understand that there are a lot of ppl out there who did need them and still do. As long as ppl begin to realize that it is not a necessity, that's all that matters. And for those who never realize that, well, I guess it's their loss.

PeaCes as always,

S Dee

[SPYGIRL3]

I have been doing this for a long time....It's not about the drugs for me. It's about the music and my friends. I can go out sober for 3 nights in a row and have an awesome time. Yes, I'll admit sometimes they were fun, but they had their time and place. Maybe you just need to not go out for a while and figure out what you want.....

[shugabooga]

innocence, kudos to you for your newfound sobriety and self awareness. i applaud you for sharing your story with the board. there are a lot of people who can benefit from or relate to your story, and others who will defend the scene and their love of music. everyone has a different perspective, and everything is open to interpretation. whatever you do with your life, follow your own heart and intuition don't take it too hard that most of the replies so far have not been really supportive of your view. be true to yourself and i hope you continue to grow and learn and find whatever you need to make you happy - i have a feeling it will include a lot of music along way, even though it hasn't been very fulfilling for you lately.

[innocence]

Well since everybody took what I wrote the wrong way, let me just clarify.

I love dance music, I consider myself a true "HEAD"...

I never needed drugs to have a good time...I used to go to SF and stay till 12-1 completely sober, and I used to do it a lot.

I do love Dj'ing but things are just a little weird for me right now...Regardless of how I feel about, I still rock every crowd I play for, and that's the most important thing.

I basically posted this to kind of release some of the clutter, roaming around in my head. You know, the things we think and do not say? Well, I chose this forum to say what I've wanted to say for a while, sorry if some of you disagree, but what can you do?

Oh yeah, I used to post under a different name that's why I have an newbie ranking on this one. I barely ever post anymore, you see why.

Take care,

Innocence

[jammy]

Thanks innocence for that post. I do appreciate most of what you said. I do have/had friends that has totally changed on me b/c of this *SCENE* I too believe its just a phase for some people as far as getting f'ed up all the time or whatever. For me music is life and life is music. The two are intertwined in IMHO. I don't drink all the time, nor do drugs. The times I have tried did nothing for me, therefore is why I choose to not bother with them. But usually posts like these fall on deaf ears and to those that already have their head straight. Hopefully someone who was in a similar situation as you were in will see the *light* or whatever you call it and realize they are substituting one problem with another. OK, I have come to realize how much I babble but kudos for the post...

-Jamms "manglednessisonlyaphase"

[mrdick]

Your points are well taken. But I don't agee with everything. I thinktat everyone goes through a period where their involvement in the scene is at unsustainably high-levels. When lie does come crashing in they react by completely moving on. But I have scene others gracefully transition their activity levels so that they always party but only so much and so hard as the demandss of their age and lifestyle allow. That is my plan. I may only go out 6 times a year when I'm 35 but rest assured I will party like an animal when I do.