Casual sex

[regularqueen]

Well here is the next question I ask. Is it ok for any one a male or female to go to a club and know that all they want to do is hook up for casual sex. I ask this question because that is what I'm thinking of doing this weekend. I was in a LTR for 3yrs and have been liberated from it the last 6 months. I am at the point where I don't want to hook up with a club guy and have another LTR (long term realtionship). Hey what can I say I'm only human and have needs. Please for all of you about to respond with the answer of sex toys don't. I have them and a warm body is always better. I just see myself as a very independent beautiful woman confident in who I am and my needs. After asking friends this question they told me that rumors and other things might be said about my character. I responded with the fact that I myself know I'm not a slut. I am able to handle the nasty comment made by others and well as long as I'm satisfied who cares. So this weekend I find myself in search of a man that smells good, looks interesting, knows how to dance and will have meaningless sex with me. I don't want any mushy love shit. I just want some fore play and sex that last more that two minutes. If you think I'm crazy let me know and as always Legend I can't wait for your responce. RQ SIZE]

[legendary]

Sorry for letting you wait so long... my browser was messed up and didn't refresh correctly, so I actually just didn't see this earlier...

Wow, as you can see by the number of people who read this thread, if there is a thread that has the word SEX in it, it attracts people to read it. I wonder which words must be in it to attract people to WRITE in it? Okay, I'm writing in here, but I'm writing everywhere as you know

Okay, this is a quite difficult topic. You cannot say anything general about this. Generally a girl which wants casual sex would look like a slut (where on the other hand a boy who wants casual sex would look like a normal boy, isn't that a shame?), but as I said, you can't say anything general about this.

I fully understand that you don't want to go the hard way again (LTR and that stuff) and just want to have a little fun without any obligations or consequences. I think the nicer expression for this is One Night Stand (ONS). A ONS doesn't have this sluttish taste but looks more like having the freedom to do everything what you want and still be able to look into the mirror and like yourself the next morning.

And this is what is most important. If you feel good about yourself, if you are able to look at yoursel and like you then everything is fine. Actually none of THEM is able to look into your head and see what's going on. Do you think all the beasty girls which get the handsome boys are looking for a LTR? Surely not. For most people this is only about getting the most out of it while putting as less as possible into it. Only that THEY would not admit it in advance.

To be honest, from what I already know about you, I like you, and don't like the thought that people might want to try to take advantage of your needs because they read this.

But at least not very many of them will meet your preconditions of smelling good (do you know how most of the guys smell after having a few too many bears and dancing and sweating around?) and being interesting...

[Warning: The next passage contains adult material, so get your kids out of the room...]

And then this line about the fore play and more than two minutes sex... is it really that bad here in US? Don't know men how to tease and coddle a woman? I think it's great to please a woman, to find out what makes here really horny, how to get her totally aroused (and I'm still talking about foreplay!) and make her forget about everything else. To sweep her off her feet so that there seems to be nothing else than you and her, tell me, is there something better? To tease, give massages, slightly touch her without doing anything yet...

Phew, is it warm in here or did the air condition die? Okay, maybe many men don't care about what a woman thinks or feels and just want to get their thing done, but I'm (obviously) not like that. And there must be more people out there who care about it, don't make me feel like an alien being a man who wants the woman to come first. There is nothing bad about going down on a woman without expecting anything in return. Actually it can be quite teasing to not let a woman touch you when she wants to...

Hehe, this reminds me of a funny story that happened to me in San Francisco. On one of my first evening there one of my friends thought it might be a good idea to try one of those 'oriental massages'. Don't get me wrong, I know what else you can get there, but we really just wanted a massage after a hard week. Of course the woman asked if I want sex or a blowjob and so on, but I didn't do that, instead I gave her a massage after she was finished with massaging me I'm not kidding, she said that her neck hurt and then I told her that I could massage her, and she laughed and thought I was kidding, and then she really enjoyed it. This was no sexual thing, just a massage, but to see how surprised she was that actually someone wanted to massage her, maybe I really think different than many other people

So, how about a massage for the Queen?

Your all-in-wonder Legend

[artsyfartsy]

First I think it's awesome that a females have started to recognize that sex can be great. I am sort of old school, in the sense I can't get past the sex=relationship thing. But hey, different strokes.

I thought the response posted by Legendary was really cool. And foreplay rocks. So any guy who really would want to enjoy "sex" would want to please the woman. Cuz when she is happy--everybody will be happy and pleased.

I haven't been to the club yet. I like to dance, but not sure if 70's (even though I was there) was my favorite dance music. But I am thinking I will check it out soon... You never can tell how much fun something will be until you try it.

later all

[wannahavefun]

I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Yeah it might be seen as a hoeish thing to do but guys do it all the time and they don't get shit for it. So why should girls? You go out and do what you want. Just be careful. Guys at the club are not the best ones, but if you want to, go for it. Most guys won't say no. More power to ya!

[regularqueen]

hey, I just wanted to say thank you for the positive feed back I've gotten to this thread. Damn I really thought you would all tear me apart. Maybe you have started to like me. In case any one is curiouse I can honestly say that I'm still the only one that has gotten me off. Sad I know that the men out there only know how to satisfy themselves. I actually have found a friend and I think if practice does make perfect we could have fun together. Heres to thirds J :) D

[utdragon]

Umm, you know you're not a slut so I wonder what would qualify a person to be one for you. Casual sex seems to be the problem with not only overpopulation and morality largely, but mostly with relationships and marriage. You are not into long term relaitonshipss right now probably because you can't make them work. People cheat constantly because they believe casual sex is okay and don't realize what exactly they're doing. Also, it's ruined the ability for sex to be a ritual representative of emotional hights reached in relationships. It just seems really bad to me and not something I would ever do. I am interested in your defense and what you might call "bad" when ever meaningless sex is not.

[regularqueen]

This is crazy I knew some one would read what I had to say and turn into a fucking Christian on me. So this is the responce you so desired. To me a fuck is something 2 people do because the need is there and no strings will ever be attached. Sex however is different these two people care for each other and are still unsure of thier love, but express themselve through intercourse as a way to show emotion and satisyfy need. Making love well the is the ultimate. There is nothing better than loosing your self in someone and knowing that all is perfect. I chose to want to FUCK because I had a need and thought it would be satisfied. I was wrong, but I still stand by what I say in the fact that there is nothing wrong with casual sex/fucking. You say this will cause cheating and people will be hurt by all this. Well tell me then why was I totally faithfull to a man for 3 years that cheated on me with 6 different women. Ok give up I'll answer I was a dumb bitch. I was inlove and blind. Casual sex wasn't the reason why he cheated. Having cake and eating it to was the reason he cheated. So fuck you as you think its ok to attack me and my morals. Do us all a favor and go get a working girl fuck her hard and leave with all her diseases spreading inside you. This from the famous RQ

[jayaxe]

hey, its just sex.... Whats the big deal...

[zeonstar]

I don't think I could of described the 3 levels of sex better than regularqueen. That breakdown was just how I feel about sex.

Fucking: You're horny and need to get off. There is no emotion other than lust.

Sex: The next level. Still horny but with more feeling and something stonger is probably looming. This is probably with someone you have been seeing for awhile.

Love making: Can be the best there is, happens when you are in love of course. Even when done gently it can feel better than hard sex or fucking. It always depended on my state of mind.

I was with a girl for 2 years and then married to her for 2 and we were very much in love. We did all the variations of sex, just depended on our moods. There is nothing wrong with casual sex, if two people like eachother and want eachother.... more power to them. Have fun regularqueen! Do what you are in the mood for.

[utdragon]

First of all I am not a Christian (I assume you aren't either from your attitude) so there's really no reason to bring religion into this at all. I didn't even say that what you did was so bad or make anything personal; I just mentioned my own reservatinos about casual sex and tried to explain where they came from. Your "defense" seemed to be an explanation of the 3 types of sex and then saying that they are all okay. Since the lowest form seems to be casual sex am I to assume that having casual sex is how you define a person as a slut? You think sluts exist because you claim not to be one, but you also claim to participate in the lowliest form of sex by your own admission. This seems to be a problem to me. Also, I do think a guy that acts the same way is ALSO a slut. The double standard is only in some people's heads and not others. I really am more curious about the issue than trying to attack you RQ.

[mpb0999]

I think what msot of the guys reading this are thinking is clear....we know you're in Seattle, but where are the girls liek you in our cities. I will be at Polyesthers in Philly tonight looking for about the same thing you're talking about. We have something in common too; the LTR thing. After that, casual sex is all there is to think about, because you feel freed from that other person. So, any Philyl girls, don't be afraid to find me tonight and take advantage.

[regularqueen]

Hey guys, Well it seems that the point to this whole thread was lost along time ago. So I guess I have one last thing to say about it and then I done. Yes, I the famous RQ finally got casual sex. Was it good did he get me off am I happy now. No not really. I guess I am not that easily satisfied even for just a fuck. Please just get off and flush the condom so you don't have to watch me take care of myself. I was thinking this about 2 hours ago. Pissed off that I misses Polly's all weekend instead I ended up with this dork I met there a couple weeks ago and we fucked. Total waist of my time. The worst part is that I think he feels something so now I'll have to deal with avoiding him. Casual sex is good, but pick you partner wisely. Last words from RQ

[legendary]

Looks as if you fucked the wrong guy (literally!).

But without the bad ones you couldn't tell when you get a good one... things will work out better for you next time!

Legend

[utdragon]

It seems to me you got what you wanted RQ. I don't understand the dissapointment. If you were looking for something more then it wasn't casual sex that you wanted. I could be wrong and would like to know how if that's the problem, but I've found few people in my life ever satisfied with casual sex (least of all women). I could see you doing it for the ego boost or some power trip, but those things are better gotten long term through other means (internally not from other's opinions). Anyway... it just seems to make sense to me that meaningless things turn out meaningless. The word casual destroys the value of anything you do. Enjoyment is from things of value that enrich your life. I hope you're finding more meaningful things to pursue.

[legendary]

Ut, I think you missed the point... I don't think RQ complained about the lack of enrichment this casual sex episode added to her life, but about the pure bad quality of the sex she got out of it. Bad sex is not only a casual sex thing, I am sure you know that. She just picked a guy who wasn't even worth to have casual sex with, not to speak of more than casual... there are already enough casualties

So long,

Legend

[gimmletgirl]

I guess I'm in a posting mood

I have done the casual sex thing and I don't think it is as gratifying as intimate sex with someone you care about. But I have had some good and bad casual sex, too. I understand RQ's peeved state of mind about wasting her time on not so good sex. I regret the bad sex I've had...i mean who hasn't!!! Anyway I don't see anything unhealthy about casual sex, except for STD's!!! or if it becomes a habit and keeps a person from entering a monogamous relationship. Now that y'all have heard from Dr. G.G. y'all can sleep easier. :goofy:

[legendary]

I do not regret any sex I had. Maybe I belong to the small group of people who can say that they never had bad sex. I had good sex, great sex, mind-ripping sex, yes, but none of it was what I'd call bad. Even if I had had bad sex I wouldn't regret it, because in the end everything that happened in the past made us become what we are now. And honestly, I like who I am now, so how could I possibly regret anything that made me become it. Even the shit that happened to me, the trouble, the quarrels, maybe it is because I believe in fate or that I try to see the bigger picture...

But let's get back to talk about sex (I can be quite philosophical, but I am not in the mood for it right now) and why it sometimes is bad and why I think I never had bad sex.

First of all I think most of the time the guy is responsable for bad sex. They just want to get off themselves, don't care about the girl and everything goes way to fast and unsatisfying. Whereas I must admit that there is no better thing than to please a woman! Call me crazy, but I just love to tease a girl, arouse her, make her feel good, discover and explore her body, find out what she likes, how she wants me to do it, massage her, lick her, make her have an orgasm. (Guys out there, never underestimate the gratefulness of a girl who just had an orgasm because of you )

Sometimes I had women who I just wanted to get off and that's it. I really don't see my own orgasm as the ultimate goal. But on the other hand, I didn't end up without having one many times. As good as you treat your woman, as good will she treat you.

Enough talking about me and my good sex behavior, I don't want to inflict jealousy and envy on all those selfish men who wonder why the girl never called back again...

cya,

Legend

[gimmletgirl]

...And I think all men should be required to read and memorize it!!! If only all men thought like legendary does, the world would be a better place...okay maybe not the world but sex would be better.

Guys who read this TAKE SOME NOTES!!! He's got it right...not that I am a selfish partner myself

[fozfactor]

Originally posted by gimmletgirl

I guess I'm in a posting mood

I have done the casual sex thing and I don't think it is as gratifying as intimate sex with someone you care about. But I have had some good and bad casual sex, too. I understand RQ's peeved state of mind about wasting her time on not so good sex. I regret the bad sex I've had...i mean who hasn't!!! Anyway I don't see anything unhealthy about casual sex, except for STD's!!! or if it becomes a habit and keeps a person from entering a monogamous relationship. Now that y'all have heard from Dr. G.G. y'all can sleep easier. :goofy:

I'm dozing at my desk right now. Well said!!

[julianne]

The best way to get laid and avoid the trappings of love, gossip, and other unpleasant things is to fuck a friend. With the right friend you get sex on a regular basis and with intelligence and communication you get to keep the friend and be cool with each other when one or both of you starts dating someone else.

[utdragon]

Has that worked for you Julianne? Even if it works once in a while it's a huge risk to hope that anyone is that open yet able to keep their emotions separate. It just seems to me like sex isn't worth the risk of a friendship. Is sex worth more than friends?

[julianne]

Yes, it has worked because I believe in keeping a low body count and having discerning taste. It obviously will not work with everyone, so it is a matter of knowing that you and that person both have the same objectives and compatable temperments. Yes, it does require a little more forethought, but I like to think of that as damage control.

J

[legendary]

I think that is a very interesting statement, Julianne. The point is, I talked to other girls, and most of them think the same way you do. The funny thing about it that there is a common misunderstanding:

Usually people thing that men are the ones who want to have sex without commitment, who prefer the casual sex and that women are more conservative and don't want to mix sex and friendship.

But in reality men get scared when they finally find a woman with whom they can have sex without obligations. They start to think more of it as it is, they start to want to have the girl on their own, they don't want her to have sex with other people as well.

The women on the other hand see the positive thing about it, they are able to really divide the needs of their body from emotions and feelings. As you said, Julianne, you just know what you want and what it is (and what it is NOT) and you keep it that way. Men will always try to change it to something that they can have but nobody else.

Legend

[zeonstar]

I went home for the first time with someone I met at the Club Friday night. It was fun. I had a good time. :-)

Poor little me was taken advantage of. Heehee.

[legendary]

Impressive... now you are really ahead of me. Not that I actually aim to go home with someone, but it is something I never did before.

But tell me, I thought you were seeing this other girl now? Or did you go home with her? The point about casual sex is that there should be no emotions involved, not even "third party" emotions. I know you might be in a situation right now where you want to take every offer you encounter, but then you should not see or have open issue with other people.

What does 'had a good time' mean? We want DETAILS

C'mon, feed us with your dirty little sexcapade

Legend