aboyfrombklyn Posted October 15 Report Share Posted October 15 your guy/girl hanging out, watching movies, smoking pot with another guy/girl alone at his/her house. The reason I ask this is because my friend is going through this exact problem and I admitted that I would be a little upset with my girlfriend. To me, it's a matter of respect. With the people I grew up with, it was always a rule to stay away from another guy's girl. That's just the way it was. Now, I'm not a total control freak. I don't mind my girl hanging out with other guys when she's with a bunch of friends, but I wouldn't see any reason why my girl would be at another guys house watching movies and smoking pot with him. It just doesn't seem right. I would wonder why she wasn't with me instead. My friend brought this up to me in front of his girl the other night, so I asked his girlfriend how she would feel if she was in his position. She said she would be okay with it, something I just don't believe. How would you feel? Would you be ok with it? What's your opinion?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misk Posted October 15 Report Share Posted October 15 umm...i would like to say i would be okay with it and all that trust bullshit....BUT in all honesty~~i would probably shit frisbees!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sum12nv Posted October 15 Report Share Posted October 15 the idea of my man watching movies ALONE and smoking weed with some other girl isnt appealing:mad: but i know all his female friends and know that he is lifeless after smoking.....so i wouldnt be worried Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aboyfrombklyn Posted October 15 Author Report Share Posted October 15 I don't know, it just doesn't make sense to me at all. Maybe there isn't any threat at all, but to make matters worse, the guy she hangs out with knows she's with my friend. I would understand if one day my friend dragged the guy out of his house and beat the shit out of him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
upjumpdaboogie Posted October 15 Report Share Posted October 15 I'm not ok with it, but we have seperate lives, which is really healthy. I understand that it's the, ummm, activites, that probably have you more worried than anything else because some people tend to get "friendly" once they're herbally stimulated, and it just set up the situation for an "accident" that could have been avoided. I usually have as many platonic girl friends as she has guy friends, but a good rule is to not worry until there is something to worry about.Best plan of action is to talk about it. Even if you don't trust her, exclusively or in addition to this guy, don't tell her that. Just say you feel uncomfortable with the situation, you don't trust him, and you are fully aware of her ability to defend herself, but you'd prefer she weren't alone with him, especially in his house, especially with impaired judgement.There really is no right answer. good luck, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sum12nv Posted October 15 Report Share Posted October 15 Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn I would understand if one day my friend dragged the guy out of his house and beat the shit out of him. so is this guy friends with the girls bf??? or just knows him, like an acquaintance? cuz i think it would a little worse if my man was chillin with one of my GIRLS!! fine, they can be friendly and chill when im there, but not alone.......i wouldnt be havin' that. id drop kick BOTH of their asses Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nitro449 Posted October 15 Report Share Posted October 15 Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn your guy/girl hanging out, watching movies, smoking pot with another guy/girl alone at his/her house. The reason I ask this is because my friend is going through this exact problem and I admitted that I would be a little upset with my girlfriend. To me, it's a matter of respect. With the people I grew up with, it was always a rule to stay away from another guy's girl. That's just the way it was. Now, I'm not a total control freak. I don't mind my girl hanging out with other guys when she's with a bunch of friends, but I wouldn't see any reason why my girl would be at another guys house watching movies and smoking pot with him. It just doesn't seem right. I would wonder why she wasn't with me instead. My friend brought this up to me in front of his girl the other night, so I asked his girlfriend how she would feel if she was in his position. She said she would be okay with it, something I just don't believe. How would you feel? Would you be ok with it? What's your opinion?? There is no reason for your girl to smoke pot in another guys house period.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aboyfrombklyn Posted October 15 Author Report Share Posted October 15 Originally posted by nitro449 There is no reason for your girl to smoke pot in another guys house period.... Thank you Nitro! I rest my case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diana Posted October 15 Report Share Posted October 15 I am going to have to go against the norm on this one and say that it would not bother me and I see nothing wrong with it. My closest friends are male and I chill with them as any other female would with their girlfriends and yes, I do chill with them alone on occasion at their place. My boyfriend is extremely understanding of my friendships because he trusts me. I have never given him reason not to and would be offended if he thought something was going on being that these guys have always been my friends - nothing more. If there is complete trust - there should be no issue. I do not really see it as a guy and girl hanging out - they are as much a friend to me as some females are and there should be no reason that I should have to put limitations on my friendships because they have a dick and my man can't cope with that - I am not having that...As for me dealing with my man doing the same - if his girlfriends were respectful of me, I have no problem with it. If your mate is going to cheat on you, there is nothing you can do about it. I would rather him be honest with me about who he hangs out with and what he does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted October 15 Report Share Posted October 15 there really is no reason for it... if it was a group of friends or something then yea whatever... or if it were like a best friend or someone he/she grew up with maybe... idk there are exceptions but generally speaking, theres really no reason why he/she would have to do shit like that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted October 15 Report Share Posted October 15 Originally posted by drama I am going to have to go against the norm on this one and say that it would not bother me and I see nothing wrong with it. My closest friends are male and I chill with them as any other female would with their girlfriends and yes, I do chill with them alone on occasion at their place. My boyfriend is extremely understanding of my friendships because he trusts me. I have never given him reason not to and would be offended if he thought something was going on being that these guys have always been my friends - nothing more. If there is complete trust - there should be no issue. I do not really see it as a guy and girl hanging out - they are as much a friend to me as some females are and there should be no reason that I should have to put limitations on my friendships because they have a dick and my man can't cope with that - I am not having that...As for me dealing with my man doing the same - if his girlfriends were respectful of me, I have no problem with it. If your mate is going to cheat on you, there is nothing you can do about it. I would rather him be honest with me about who he hangs out with and what he does. in contrast to what i just said, i completely agree with u too! lol... oh well.. it really depends i guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sd Posted October 15 Report Share Posted October 15 Originally posted by drama I am going to have to go against the norm on this one and say that it would not bother me and I see nothing wrong with it. My closest friends are male and I chill with them as any other female would with their girlfriends and yes, I do chill with them alone on occasion at their place. My boyfriend is extremely understanding of my friendships because he trusts me. I have never given him reason not to and would be offended if he thought something was going on being that these guys have always been my friends - nothing more. If there is complete trust - there should be no issue. I do not really see it as a guy and girl hanging out - they are as much a friend to me as some females are and there should be no reason that I should have to put limitations on my friendships because they have a dick and my man can't cope with that - I am not having that...As for me dealing with my man doing the same - if his girlfriends were respectful of me, I have no problem with it. If your mate is going to cheat on you, there is nothing you can do about it. I would rather him be honest with me about who he hangs out with and what he does. i totally agree with DRAMA. i have amazing friend-girls and would not sacrifice the friendships i have built with them over the years for a possesive, jealous girlfriend. i beleive in trust, trust that allows you to continue to lead your life and enjoy doing the things you did before you were in a relationship. if i had to completely change my life for someone it wouldn't work out, wouldn't work out and i would want no part of it. with that said, i would have no issues with my g/f (which is non-existent at the time) hanging out with guys that shes good friends with. i had a two year long distance relationship, when i used to visit my g/f we used to hang out with her guy friends, they were all great, fun guys. i would rather know she was out with them, people that care about her and would look out for her than out with her girls having tons of scumbags hitting on her. it would be one thing if all of a sudden she was hanging out with some new guy and she was acting all weird, but that not being the case and the guys being friends is totally cool.on a some what different note, i want my g/f to be able to hang out with and feel comfortable with all my guy friends, regardless of whether or not i'm around. the guys i'm friends with are friends for life and its important to me that the person in my life gets along well with them. one of my friends is away on business a lot and his wife hangs out with us all the time when he's away. he knows he has nothing to fear and feels better when she's with us, knowing that we'll take care of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diana Posted October 15 Report Share Posted October 15 Originally posted by sd i totally agree with DRAMA. i have amazing friend-girls and would not sacrifice the friendships i have built with them over the years for a possesive, jealous girlfriend. i beleive in trust, trust that allows you to continue to lead your life and enjoy doing the things you did before you were in a relationship. if i had to completely change my life for someone it wouldn't work out, wouldn't work out and i would want no part of it. with that said, i would have no issues with my g/f (which is non-existent at the time) hanging out with guys that shes good friends with. i had a two year long distance relationship, when i used to visit my g/f we used to hang out with her guy friends, they were all great, fun guys. i would rather know she was out with them, people that care about her and would look out for her than out with her girls having tons of scumbags hitting on her. it would be one thing if all of a sudden she was hanging out with some new guy and she was acting all weird, but that not being the case and the guys being friends is totally cool.on a some what different note, i want my g/f to be able to hang out with and feel comfortable with all my guy friends, regardless of whether or not i'm around. the guys i'm friends with are friends for life and its important to me that the person in my life gets along well with them. one of my friends is away on business a lot and his wife hangs out with us all the time when he's away. he knows he has nothing to fear and feels better when she's with us, knowing that we'll take care of her. Very well said. I am glad that there are still some mature, confident men out there that do not feel the need to put limits on their girlfriends' relationships. That it the one thing that is made undersood by any man I date - my friends mean the world to me and if you can not deal with it than BYE BYE... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barvybe Posted October 15 Report Share Posted October 15 shit, not only do i agree with DRAMA, i ask u this:1. why wouldn't u trust her?2. why would you want to be a part of everything your girl does?3. evidently u don't think boys and girls can just be friends, right?damn, i got so many girlfriends - i've got relationships with them where we talk about shit like u might with u'r boyz. i'm not giving that up.shit, if u'r girl / guy doesn't have his or her own life, how r they gonna challenge u? how r u gonna grow? rn't u gonna get bored as hell real quick?like others said, u either trust them or not. if u don't, dump em and move on.besides, your boy's saving do if she's smokin' up his stash Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aboyfrombklyn Posted October 15 Author Report Share Posted October 15 I agree with a lot of your points. DRAMA is definitely right about a lot of things. In fact, I brought some of these points up to my friend (it's my friend in this position, not me). It's just that he disagrees with his girlfriend smoking pot, especially alone with another guy. I know the other guy personally and I can honestly tell you that he is not one to be trusted. I wouldn't want my girlfriend to be around him. It's not that I wouldn't trust my girlfriend. I just wouldn't trust him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barvybe Posted October 15 Report Share Posted October 15 well, if they've got drug use issues to work out, they need to. if the guy's not to be trusted and thats really true, then she should see that for herself in time and it'll all work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted October 16 Report Share Posted October 16 I wouldn't care unless:I didn't trust my bfI didn't trust the girl he was hanging out withWhether or not he was smoking with someone else would be irrelevant- I really couldn't care less, and I hope he would feel the same way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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