barvybe Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 (recorded phone conversation 11-20-01, BarVybe speaking)Lav, honey - i think u need to come home and take me to the doctor. I've got this growth or something....and its growing. Stuck to my side, right near the liver. Oh gosh, this is really weird! It just kicked! OMG! when i took a sip of my beer i think it sighed, or maybe even gurgled.What's happening to me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xpander Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 Originally posted by barvybe (recorded phone conversation 11-20-01, BarVybe speaking)Lav, honey - i think u need to come home and take me to the doctor. I've got this growth or something....and its growing. Stuck to my side, right near the liver. Oh gosh, this is really weird! It just kicked! OMG! when i took a sip of my beer i think it sighed, or maybe even gurgled.What's happening to me? and here I thought it was something i can help with...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bLizAnci Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 surgery? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clubkat Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 is it gonna be like that little alien from spaceballs?u ok babe? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 jesus bloody christ BarVybe!!! A gurgling, kicking, sighing, growth near your liver that responds well to beer? that cant be good! I told you not to drink xpander's guiness/champagne/gin/juice concoction. I'm on my way home right now... just sit tight and try not to anger it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barvybe Posted November 20 Author Report Share Posted November 20 OK. please hurry! It's growing really quickly. I'm horribly thirsty, but every time i try to drink water or juice it gets angry! And i'm running out of beers here. My skins all itchy too from being stretched like this. HOLY GOOD GOD!!! I just had to scratch it, it itched so much, and um....well....the skin broke a little. Smells like CHOCOLATE VODKA!!! Ok, that's better. i put on the new PVD and it seems to have settled down a bit. I'm really nervous. I mean, this isn't normal is it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigpoppanils Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 blast some britney spears and hope it kills itself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barvybe Posted November 20 Author Report Share Posted November 20 last time i listen to you!!!i tried it and i can tell u i've never been in so much pain.imagine the pain in your ears of listening to britany spearsnow imagine britany changed to muzak stylethen think about that pain piercing through your entire body.not good at all.i soothed the little sucker by bathing my bloated mid section in gin and drinking some tonic water.we're on our way to the hospital now (good thing lav is strong, cause she's gotta carry me down the stairs)we'll let u know what they find.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigpoppanils Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 sorryits worked for me beforedont hurt me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mugwump Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 Yea..You gotta watch out for those!You weren't by any chance making out witha flesh toned face hugger where you?Back on Mugwumpia a buddy of mine got shit faced and hooked up witha "face hugger" and well..you see how he ended up..(poor sap) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehacker Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 (but i won't spoil it for anyone else) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigpoppanils Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by thehacker (but i won't spoil it for anyone else) what...barvybe's "pet" starts posting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehacker Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by bigpoppanils what...barvybe's "pet" starts posting? close but not quite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 damn BarVybe! you're one heavy mofo! I dont even want to know how much that thing weighs. the sloshing sound it made bouncing on my shoulder was pretty nasty too.and i'm pretty sure its feeding on the alcohol. u polished off that 12 pack right quick and weren't even tipsy.OK, so we got to the hospital. BarVybe's in quarantine / detox right now. the oderly took one look at him and puked on his shoes. then the thing started kicking again. they had alcohol wipes, but it only responded to drinking alcohol, so i had to run down the block and picke up some Old English. Last I saw they were carting BarVybe into the detox ward with a IV hooked up to one of the 40s. The freaking thing was gurgling and cooing. WTF!Its been hours since they took him in. No one will tell me whats going on. I heard some screams a while back, and then they started piping in Scot Bond (brought some discs with us since that seemed to help) Some nauseous looking nurses kept running back and forth, but that's it.I'm really worried. I've never seen anything like this before.... and yet i feel somehow responsible.Is there a decent bar around here anywhere? Ahhh screw decent... I'll take some malt liquor and a 7-11 parking lot... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pookie23 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by lavendermenace Is there a decent bar around here anywhere? Ahhh screw decent... I'll take some malt liquor and a 7-11 parking lot... Ragga recommends SCHLITZ Malt Liquor!! Dat shit is da bombay!!! What the hell am I going to do 2nite?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xpander Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by spragga25 What the hell am I going to do 2nite?? :o me predicts that the Ragga shall appear in the lost church to join his bretherens in hedonistic dance. :o(And if the damn psychic thing doesn't hit ya, GET OVER TO LIMELIGHT!!!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Ok, much better now. I came back and there was an orderly waiting for me, reeking like malt liquor, but with a NOTE FOR ME FROM BARVYBE!!! Transcription follows:*Lav,Sorry to cause u all this trouble sweetie. I feel really bad. i just didn't want to do anything to complicate our relationship or anything. I've actually had this weird pain in my side for several weeks now. i assumed it was just an old man pain. shrug. guess not.So, this think is really huge now. Thank god you picked up all those 40's for me or it woulda sucked me dry by now. Everyone's being really nice to me. I mean the Scientific America camera guy keeps gettting in the way, but he brought me some Sierra's so its all good. The doctors aren't really sure what it is, but its definitely growing fast. They've got two nurses rubbing it down with spririts at all times (they're pretty cute btw - think they'd go for a guy with an outsized liver?). It's really painful - but i'm hanging in there. They are afraid to give me anything too strong for it since they don't know what that might do to the little sucker. They had to pull up a second cot for it a couple hours ago. The doctors think that whatever's going on will come full circle in the next day.I really appreciate all the support you've given me, but please get some rest. U know that i'd never ask u for anything. (except some new music - Scot Bond rules, but its starting to get old. How bout the new Groove Armada - that might be soothing)BarVybe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjlive Posted November 23 Report Share Posted November 23 Originally posted by lavendermenace Is there a decent bar around here anywhere? Ahhh screw decent... I'll take some malt liquor and a 7-11 parking lot... This sounds disturbingly familiar.Art imitating life?Or is it me.kjlive Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted November 26 Report Share Posted November 26 well, its been a tumultuous few days, and I'm happy to say that BarVybe is going to be OK. And so is our new little one!!! I'm such a proud papa! Cigars and whiskey all around! Oh yeah, here's a note from the recovering mama."Hi everyone! Gosh, i'm so wiped out! They think they're gonna release us today I just can't say enough about u Lavender...u've made this so easy for me. Staying by my side the whole time, and letting me know that u'll stick with this.... So, it took a lot longer than the doctors thought. The corner deli ran outta malt liquor, and it was getting really agitated. Luckily, the stuff was considered a medical supply for my condition! So, it was soooo awesome! I was in all this pain. Something just wasn't going right. The doctors had no idea what to do, and the gin rubs weren't working anymore. The damn thing was just so agitated. Thank god for Lavender! She saved the day...came in and sang "Can u Dance to My Beat" to the little sucker. It was right then when i knew that she would make the perfect father...Anyway, it settled down, and they were finally able to turn the thing. That was yesterday afternoon. A few hours later the bloated sac just sorta split open and the little fella jumped right out. Woohooo!!! I'm so happy - its just an amazing feeling. The doctors and nurses were so great, they had been there with me the whole time. So, Lavender made some punch out of the fluids that were left...it was really yummy, but DAMN strong. The little guy's got quite a tolerance! Anyway, Lavender is the proud daddy of a bouncing babyBarMenace! We're thinking about having a party in a week or two when he gets his legs under him. He's a quick one too, already starting to tap on the keyboard. And its so cute watching him mix his own drinks (the bar down the street gave us a bar kit as a gift)! The nurses tried to give him formula, but he just spit it up, so we've been getting his bottle filled at the tap. Ok, i gotta go take my nap now. Thanks for all the well wishes everyone!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoozi8 Posted November 26 Report Share Posted November 26 COngradulations on the mutant lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigpoppanils Posted November 26 Report Share Posted November 26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barvybe Posted November 26 Author Report Share Posted November 26 Originally posted by snoozi8 COngradulations on the mutant lol Thanks hon!U wanna come over and Menace sit for a bit?Its really easy - just pop the bottle tops for him, and he's all set. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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