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Dirty Jokes


DJGaryMatthews

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What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?

> >>Goes-in-tight!

> >>

> >>What does a 72-year-old snatch taste like?

> >>Depends...

> >>

> >>What's "68"?

> >>You do me and I owe you one.

> >>

> >>What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

> >>Gagged!

> >>

> >>What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?

> >>A tearjerker.

> >>

> >>What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?

> >>Popeye almost killed him!

> >>

> >>Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters

> >>will improve your sex life?

> >>Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.

> >>

> >>How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?

> >>Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to

> >>get it out!

> >>

> >>What's the definition of a teenager?

> >>God's punishment for enjoying sex.

> >>

> >>What's the definition of a vagina?

> >>The box a penis comes in.

> >>

> >>What two words will clear out a men's restroom?

> >>"Nice Dick!"

> >>

> >>What do you call a truckload of vibrators?

> >>Toys for Twats.

> >>

> >>What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?

> >>S&M&M.

> >>

> >>Why do we have orgasms?

> >>How else would we know when to stop?

> >>

> >>What's the definition of indefinitely?

> >>When your balls are slapping up against her ass,

> >>you're

> >>in...definitely!

> >>

> >>Define Transvestite:

> >>A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!

> >>

> >>How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat?

> >>By sitting down before the last guy gets up.

> >>

> >>What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?

> >>They are both used as a meat substitute.

> >>

> >>What do you call kids born in whorehouses?

> >>Brothel sprouts.

> >>

> >>What is every Amish woman's private fantasy?

> >>Two Mennonite!

> >>

> >>What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?

> >>The cold shoulder.

> >>

> >>How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?

> >>His hand caught fire.

> >>

> >>Why is sex like a game of bridge?

> >>You don't need a partner if you've got a good hand.

> >>

> >>What do you call a smiling Roman with pubic hair

> >>between his teeth?

> >>Gladiator!

> >>

> >>Why do you get paid more at the Sperm Bank than at the

> >>Blood Bank?

> >>Sperm is handmade.

> >>

> >>How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?

> >>Put a nipple on it.

> >>

> >>What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?

> >>Slow down and use a lubricant.

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