bluegirl Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 reason tells me not to do something that will hurt me or make me feel badand i do this with everything in lifeif my goal is to be happy, how can i self inflict something that causes pain i feel like i am doing just thatand it makes no sensepart of me wants to end it now before it gets worsei am having trouble trying to find the words to explain my situationbecause it is seemingly a contradictioni was happy beforei am happier now, but at the same time sadand the former seems more conveniant but i cannot choose itcan anyone relate?or give me some advice, before i end up pushing him away because of my doubts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 I understand exactly what you are saying. You know that someone or something is bad for you, but you want/need them anyway. They fill some void in your life, and that makes you happy. It's a catch 22, that doesn't really have an out that we are looking for. It's very hard to let go of something/one who for one reason or another greatly effects. For lack of a better example, it's like drugs. People know drugs are bad, but they like the way they feel. If you stop, you lose that feeling, but you are better off.It's a hard call to make, you gotta do what works for you, and hopefully that is best option out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 If you are happier now than before, but sad at the same time, could it just be the normal highs and lows of a relationship? Or the sadness that comes anytime we give someone that power over ourselves, and then have to deal with whatever crap they lay out on the table? Because all that is normal and ok, as long as he can take whatever he gives. Maybe you don't want to deal with it because of a fear of commitment?I don't know, I don't know or expect the details, just hazarding a guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 i agree with tasty.... it seems like ur happy with ur life and ur relationship now... but there are always those things that may make it hard to be in a relationship... u always seemed to be one that didnt like commitment, and got bored easily... but now that uve finally found someone who actually makes u happy and makes u want to commit, i think ur scared of actually doing so b/c possibly in the long run u might change ur mind again.... at that point ull have already been committed for however long, thus making it even harder to end things. what i think u need to do is thouroughly evaluate ur situation... why u feel these things for him.. what factors come into play here... distance? cuz both of u are away at school? distance always seems to make things difficult but... if u can overlook all those obstacles and still want to be with him, then go for it girl. dont be afraid of it... .dont live for the future and base ur decisions on what MIGHT happen in the future and how ur feelings MIGHT change later on... cuz if ur happy with what u have NOW, then theres no reason for u to not have it. thats the way i always go about things... i mean... in past relationships i never said.... well im young... i dont wanna be in a relationship... i just went with my feelings and i was always happy... now, im kinda takin things as they come. no livin for tomorrow... no thinkin bout the past.. im living for now. and i think u need to try and do the same. cuz it makes things easier... call me naive call me whatever u want.. but i see no reason stressin things that havent even happened yet or MIGHT happen... if ur happy now, then do wut u need to do to keep urself that way. if u 2 are happy with each other, then dont worry about inevitably breaking up... or eventually getting tired of him... if we all went about relationships that way, everyone would be lonely! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluegirl Posted January 29 Author Report Share Posted January 29 wow u guys are goodi know my story was vague but u all knew what i meanti have already taken the next step and i did commithowever no matter how hard i try i get these doubts if its what i really wantthanks for the advice i do feel better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by linabina i agree with tasty.... it seems like ur happy with ur life and ur relationship now... but there are always those things that may make it hard to be in a relationship... u always seemed to be one that didnt like commitment, and got bored easily... but now that uve finally found someone who actually makes u happy and makes u want to commit, i think ur scared of actually doing so b/c possibly in the long run u might change ur mind again.... at that point ull have already been committed for however long, thus making it even harder to end things. what i think u need to do is thouroughly evaluate ur situation... why u feel these things for him.. what factors come into play here... distance? cuz both of u are away at school? distance always seems to make things difficult but... if u can overlook all those obstacles and still want to be with him, then go for it girl. dont be afraid of it... .dont live for the future and base ur decisions on what MIGHT happen in the future and how ur feelings MIGHT change later on... cuz if ur happy with what u have NOW, then theres no reason for u to not have it. thats the way i always go about things... i mean... in past relationships i never said.... well im young... i dont wanna be in a relationship... i just went with my feelings and i was always happy... now, im kinda takin things as they come. no livin for tomorrow... no thinkin bout the past.. im living for now. and i think u need to try and do the same. cuz it makes things easier... call me naive call me whatever u want.. but i see no reason stressin things that havent even happened yet or MIGHT happen... if ur happy now, then do wut u need to do to keep urself that way. if u 2 are happy with each other, then dont worry about inevitably breaking up... or eventually getting tired of him... if we all went about relationships that way, everyone would be lonely! Wow hun, your not naive at all. I like the way you put things, I couldn't have siad it any better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 thanks i try.... no really i do hehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJGaryMatthews Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by linabina i agree with tasty.... it seems like ur happy with ur life and ur relationship now... but there are always those things that may make it hard to be in a relationship... u always seemed to be one that didnt like commitment, and got bored easily... but now that uve finally found someone who actually makes u happy and makes u want to commit, i think ur scared of actually doing so b/c possibly in the long run u might change ur mind again.... at that point ull have already been committed for however long, thus making it even harder to end things. what i think u need to do is thouroughly evaluate ur situation... why u feel these things for him.. what factors come into play here... distance? cuz both of u are away at school? distance always seems to make things difficult but... if u can overlook all those obstacles and still want to be with him, then go for it girl. dont be afraid of it... .dont live for the future and base ur decisions on what MIGHT happen in the future and how ur feelings MIGHT change later on... cuz if ur happy with what u have NOW, then theres no reason for u to not have it. thats the way i always go about things... i mean... in past relationships i never said.... well im young... i dont wanna be in a relationship... i just went with my feelings and i was always happy... now, im kinda takin things as they come. no livin for tomorrow... no thinkin bout the past.. im living for now. and i think u need to try and do the same. cuz it makes things easier... call me naive call me whatever u want.. but i see no reason stressin things that havent even happened yet or MIGHT happen... if ur happy now, then do wut u need to do to keep urself that way. if u 2 are happy with each other, then dont worry about inevitably breaking up... or eventually getting tired of him... if we all went about relationships that way, everyone would be lonely! this girl's got a good head on her shoulders..i know from personal experience. she's always so good with figurin someone's problems out, and givin great advice. she knows me and how i think better than i do. that's what makes her special Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by glowdancer reason tells me not to do something that will hurt me or make me feel badand i do this with everything in lifeif my goal is to be happy, how can i self inflict something that causes pain i feel like i am doing just thatand it makes no sensepart of me wants to end it now before it gets worsei am having trouble trying to find the words to explain my situationbecause it is seemingly a contradictioni was happy beforei am happier now, but at the same time sadand the former seems more conveniant but i cannot choose itcan anyone relate?or give me some advice, before i end up pushing him away because of my doubts Theres a famous latin expression, which translated means " That Which Nourishes Me Also Destroys me..." I think it relates perfectly to your situation... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJGaryMatthews Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by dgmodel Theres a famous latin expression, which translated means " That Which Nourishes Me Also Destroys me..." I think it relates perfectly to your situation... look at u gettin all philosophical and shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 i have my moments... im not all shits and giggles / hot bod / ricky martin look alike. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 Originally posted by glowdancer wow u guys are goodi know my story was vague but u all knew what i meanti have already taken the next step and i did commithowever no matter how hard i try i get these doubts if its what i really wantthanks for the advice i do feel better Glad you feel better, sometimes being vague is the best way to get an honest answer:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluegirl Posted March 12 Author Report Share Posted March 12 Originally posted by dgmodel Theres a famous latin expression, which translated means " That Which Nourishes Me Also Destroys me..." I think it relates perfectly to your situation... i <3 dgmodelhahagod damn i know when everyone wakes up and reads the board they are going to think they woke up and went back in timei apologize but i woke up at 4am and well im diggin in my own archivesliterally... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 i<3nympho... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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