mugwump Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 So, how does one protest V-Day?Glad you asked! ------------------------------------------------------------------------MUGWUMP'S V-Day 12-Step Program for non-datersHere's a quick guide to surviving Feb. 14 without ripping your hair out - or other people's hair, for that matter! 1. Wear black, and lots of it.2. If someone else in the office has received flowers, chocolate, singing telegrams, and other forms of dating expressions, glare at them. Snarling and grunting optional.3. Same goes for anyone wearing excessive amounts of red. Especially if they are wearing heart-shaped items like pins.4. Later in the day, eat the chocolate, run the flowers through a food processor, and beat the crap out of the singing telegram people. (Most people will thank you for this, anyway).5. For the rest of the day, labor over the effect all that chocolate is gonna have on your waistline.6. Return home and destroy at least one item given to you by an ex. Feel guilty. Call the ex. Make up story about having a hot date.7. Watch TV. Turn off TV after noticing every channel is airing a clone of "While You Were Sleeping" or, worse yet, a "Friends" Valentine's Day.8. Realize how lame not having a hot date is. Head to bar.9. Plot massive torture of anyone who shows up at the bar with a date. Slow torture if the couple is in anything above semi-formal dress.10. Massive quantities of alcohol. Beergoggling. Wake up next to someone - male or female - with way too much facial hair.11. Remember (and regret) this incident for the next 364 days. Complain about never having a good V-Day.12. Wait until some bizarre calendar date Hallmark has labeled "Sweetest Day." Rinse, lather, repeat to get in practice for next V-Day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexybitchjenny Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 ARRRrrooooo...MUGZ I GOT ONE FOR YOU.." LADIES, Do really sappy, insipid, "always and forever" love poems make you want to puke? (and that goes for Bon Jovi lyrics too!)"(snort-growl-grrrr)Check out:HEARTLESS BITCHES INTERNATIONAL! http://www.heartless-bitches.com/ARrrroooooooo..LOVES A BITCH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mugwump Posted February 10 Author Report Share Posted February 10 KILL CUPID! Let that fat little bastard have iton the chair!(Flash animation/game) --->http://www.circusx.com/toons/shockroom_1.html<--- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexybitchjenny Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 ROFL..Arfrolaroooo...Good one Mugz..I've got another gamefor you:THE STUPID CUPID GAME! http://humor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.circusx.com/games/stupid%5Fcupid.htmlLeft arrow and right arrow to moveSpace bar to shoot... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mugwump Posted February 10 Author Report Share Posted February 10 Thanks Jenny!Say if all you stupidpeople "in love" still haven'tsent out your retarded V-De-mail cards I've got somereally GREAT ones for ya here: http://egomania.nu/postcard/page5.html(Page 5 of EGOCARDS is thebest damn V-Day e-greetingspage I've ever seen!)TELL THAT SPECIAL PERSON HOW YOU REALLY FEEL ABOUT THEM: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loch Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 d-day, whoops, i mean v-day, is the evil brainchild and product of the collusion of florists, chocolatiers, and cardmakers, all conspiring to make a quick buck during a lull between the christmas and easter holidays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexybitchjenny Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 Originally posted by loch d-day, whoops, i mean v-day, is the evil brainchild and product of the collusion of florists, chocolatiers, and cardmakers, all conspiring to make a quick buck during a lull between the christmas and easter holidays. You've got the right buddy..(arrrooo)ande may I also addarf-that the BOOZEcompanies are in on itas well...LOVE SHMOVE..In the end it reallyjust come down to this:http://www.madblast.com/oska/goggles.cfm(Need Flash to view)Arrroooo..snarl..snort..fart~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loch Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 Originally posted by loch d-day, whoops, i mean v-day, is the evil brainchild and product of the collusion of florists, chocolatiers, and cardmakers, all conspiring to make a quick buck during a lull between the christmas and easter holidays. another prime example of capitalism at its best, which is fine and dandy if you have a valentine, but ultimately, comes at the expense and neglect of those who have NO valentines, which, as a consequence, sends them into a deep depression and hatred for all that is fine and dandy...another fine example of the unintentioned and unforseen consequences of capitalism -- no matter how well intentioned it is, there's always someone out there that hates it.(and no, i DID get up on the right side of the bed this morning, and no, no one pissed in my cheerios this morning, and no, i did not recently go through a breakup with a scorned love) [this message paid for and brought to you by the Scorned Lovers Association of America, the Disgruntled Florist Network, the now absolved and defunct Chocolatiers Union, and the Has-Been-Poets-Who-Now-Can-t-Even-Get-A-Job-At-Hallmark support group.] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tilly Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 both bitter and ruined...btw: this doesn't mean that I don't still want my flowers, chocolates and and overpriced priced fix dinner... from you both! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mugwump Posted February 10 Author Report Share Posted February 10 Originally posted by loch (and no, i DID get up on the right side of the bed this morning, and no, no one pissed in my cheerios this morning, and no, i did not recently go through a breakup with a scorned love) HEY Neither did I Loch..(Mugz takes a spoonfull of his piss warm cheerios)BUT V-DAY AINT ALL THAAAAATBAD!IT HAS IT'S GOOD QUALITIES TOO: Top Ten MUGWUMPIAN Good Things About Valentine's Day 10. Extra staffing means no waiting on the Suicide Hotline.9. St. Valentine, the man who started it all. The bastard died a horrible, violent death.8. Hallmark's new line of "Happy Valentine's Day: I'm Dumping Your Sorry Ass" greeting cards.7. No one to buy a gift for? Take the money you would have spent and donate it to help feed homeless people. You can feel smug about it for WEEKS afterward.6. Special OJ Simpson Valentine's Day Edition of the Enquirer.5. Give retailers a chance to unload more useless crap between Christmas and Easter.4. Nothing to do that night gives you a chance to catch up on those episodes of 'Blossom' you've been taping.3. You can special-order candy hearts with personalized messages like 'Bite Me' and 'Die, Bitch'.2. Provides lots of anecdotal evidence for people who support waiting periods on handgun purchases.1. When you finally get to hell, it won't seem NEARLY as bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 . . . . . . I fucking HATE Valentines day . . . . Every year this sappy fucking hallmark holiday makes me wonder why the heavens didn't give me the power to crack the fucking planet in half with my mind alone . . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeg Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 Originally posted by mugwump 10. Extra staffing means no waiting on the Suicide Hotline.LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!This thread is too funny. :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bebby Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 Originally posted by mugwump So, how does one protest V-Day?Glad you asked! ------------------------------------------------------------------------MUGWUMP'S V-Day 12-Step Program for non-datersHere's a quick guide to surviving Feb. 14 without ripping your hair out - or other people's hair, for that matter! 1. Wear black, and lots of it.2. If someone else in the office has received flowers, chocolate, singing telegrams, and other forms of dating expressions, glare at them. Snarling and grunting optional.3. Same goes for anyone wearing excessive amounts of red. Especially if they are wearing heart-shaped items like pins.4. Later in the day, eat the chocolate, run the flowers through a food processor, and beat the crap out of the singing telegram people. (Most people will thank you for this, anyway).5. For the rest of the day, labor over the effect all that chocolate is gonna have on your waistline.6. Return home and destroy at least one item given to you by an ex. Feel guilty. Call the ex. Make up story about having a hot date.7. Watch TV. Turn off TV after noticing every channel is airing a clone of "While You Were Sleeping" or, worse yet, a "Friends" Valentine's Day.8. Realize how lame not having a hot date is. Head to bar.9. Plot massive torture of anyone who shows up at the bar with a date. Slow torture if the couple is in anything above semi-formal dress.10. Massive quantities of alcohol. Beergoggling. Wake up next to someone - male or female - with way too much facial hair.11. Remember (and regret) this incident for the next 364 days. Complain about never having a good V-Day.12. Wait until some bizarre calendar date Hallmark has labeled "Sweetest Day." Rinse, lather, repeat to get in practice for next V-Day LOL too fuckin funny!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acura Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 Originally posted by mugwump Thanks Jenny!Say if all you stupidpeople "in love" still haven'tsent out your retarded V-De-mail cards I've got somereally GREAT ones for ya here: http://egomania.nu/postcard/page5.html(Page 5 of EGOCARDS is thebest damn V-Day e-greetingspage I've ever seen!)TELL THAT SPECIAL PERSON HOW YOU REALLY FEEL ABOUT THEM: LOL!I could use about 5 of these things Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 Originally posted by mugwump So, how does one protest V-Day?Glad you asked! ------------------------------------------------------------------------MUGWUMP'S V-Day 12-Step Program for non-datersHere's a quick guide to surviving Feb. 14 without ripping your hair out - or other people's hair, for that matter! 1. Wear black, and lots of it.2. If someone else in the office has received flowers, chocolate, singing telegrams, and other forms of dating expressions, glare at them. Snarling and grunting optional.3. Same goes for anyone wearing excessive amounts of red. Especially if they are wearing heart-shaped items like pins.4. Later in the day, eat the chocolate, run the flowers through a food processor, and beat the crap out of the singing telegram people. (Most people will thank you for this, anyway).5. For the rest of the day, labor over the effect all that chocolate is gonna have on your waistline.6. Return home and destroy at least one item given to you by an ex. Feel guilty. Call the ex. Make up story about having a hot date.7. Watch TV. Turn off TV after noticing every channel is airing a clone of "While You Were Sleeping" or, worse yet, a "Friends" Valentine's Day.8. Realize how lame not having a hot date is. Head to bar.9. Plot massive torture of anyone who shows up at the bar with a date. Slow torture if the couple is in anything above semi-formal dress.10. Massive quantities of alcohol. Beergoggling. Wake up next to someone - male or female - with way too much facial hair.11. Remember (and regret) this incident for the next 364 days. Complain about never having a good V-Day.12. Wait until some bizarre calendar date Hallmark has labeled "Sweetest Day." Rinse, lather, repeat to get in practice for next V-Day :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mugwump Posted February 11 Author Report Share Posted February 11 Well Laugh if you may!but come V-Day I plan to get so hammered that I'llforget what my name isand what day it is or what the hell women,dating and ex-girlfriendsare!HEY! on second thought that could wind up in a bad way! Click this animated link and play to see how my last V-day went. --->http://www.augenblickstudios.com/home/flash/site.html<----*(Click on The "NOW PLAYING" sign TO WATCH "DRUNKY" THE DRUNKMUGWUMP IN HIS LATEST FLICK. THEN CLICK ON THE PICTURE OF DRUNKY.)**IT's A BIG FLASH MOVIE SO LET IT LOAD.HAVE PATIENCE. IT'S WORTH IT...(Mugz drinks from his flask) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 ...I'll be in the same boat as ya;) gettin all liquored up..hahaso sad:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexybitchjenny Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 Arrroooo...~Don't worry FieryD..I'll be spending MY Valentines daywith my brand new friend and a bottleof Gin...Wanna see what he looks like?:--->http://www.certifiedbitches.com/vv.html<---- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mugwump Posted February 11 Author Report Share Posted February 11 Any one else feel like adding an anti V-day link? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shugabooga Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 Originally posted by sexybitchjenny Arrroooo...~Don't worry FieryD..I'll be spending MY Valentines daywith my brand new friend and a bottleof Gin...Wanna see what he looks like?:--->http://www.certifiedbitches.com/vv.html<---- wow that's amazing i could actually feel the vibrations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexybitchjenny Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 Here's one for all YOU guy'swithout a date on V-D day..(I'm looking at YOU MUGDUMP!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gothzane Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 lol your too much mugzknow what you need?Valentines Day Strippers!nuff said...lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mugwump Posted February 11 Author Report Share Posted February 11 Originally posted by gothzane lol your too much mugzknow what you need?Valentines Day Strippers!nuff said...lol BRING IT OOONNNNN!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted February 12 Report Share Posted February 12 Originally posted by sexybitchjenny Here's one for all YOU guy'swithout a date on V-D day..(I'm looking at YOU MUGDUMP!) . . . . I could see how one would find that oral "fixture" exciting . . . only, of course, if one was a cat with graves disease on speed . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeg Posted February 12 Report Share Posted February 12 Originally posted by phuturephunk . . . . I could see how one would find that oral "fixture" exciting . . . only, of course, if one was a cat with graves disease on speed . . . BHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA graves disease... lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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