Martha Stewart vs. the Real Women's Way

[chula22]

~ Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the

bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women's Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the

bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably

lying on the sofa with your feet up, eating it anyway.

~ Martha's way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place

an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Real Women's Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix

and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

~ Martha's way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring

the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and

there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Real Women's Way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate

it for you.

~ Martha's way #4: If you accidentally over salt a dish while

it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb

the excess salt for an instant "fix up."

Real Women's Way: If you over salt a dish while you are

cooking, that's just too bad. Please recite with me:

The Real Women's motto: I made it and you will eat it and

I don't care how bad it tastes.

~ Martha's way #5: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting

in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Real Women's Way: Celery? What's that?

~ Martha's way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over pie

crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Real Women's Way: The Mrs. Smith Frozen Pie directions

do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I

don't do it.

~ Martha's way #7: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it

in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go

away.

Real Women's Way: Martha, dear, the only reason this

works is because you can't rub a lime on your forehead

without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the problem

isn't the headache anymore, it's you are now BLIND!

~ Martha's way #8: If you have a problem opening jars: Try

using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip

that makes opening jars easy.

Real Women's Way: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.

And finally the most important tip......

~ Martha's way #9: Don't throw out all that leftover wine.

Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women's Way: Leftover wine?

[xxlea]

BBWWAAHHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

I knew she wasn't human. Too funny Chula.