naomi1

I found this to be very funny when sent it to me. I am glad that you guys found it funny as well.

Enjoy!! Granny

Dude! I thought I was bad but you took the cake and then some!!! At least I made Club God in 6 months but 4 months!! Well anyway, congrats on your new status! BTW, once you get to 1500 post you can edit your status!

Thanks!!!

Hey now! Stop being naughty....

I love your sigs!

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around the room with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies" was his response. "Killing any?" She asked. "Yep, 3 males, and 2 females," was his reply. Intrigued, she asked, "How exactly can you tell?" He responded, "3 were on a beer can, and 2 were on the phone."

All About Men Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature. Men are like.....High heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it. Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong. Men are like.....Lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright. Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion. Men are like.....Parking spots. The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small. Men are like.....Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while. Men are like.....Place mats. They only show up when there's food on the table. Men are like.....Snow storms. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long they will last. Men are like.....Used Cars. Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable. Men are like....Newborn babies. They're cute at first, but you get tired of cleaning up their crap. Men are like.....Crystal. Some look real good, but you can still see right thru them. Men are like.....Dry cleaners. Most work fast and leave no ring. Men are like..... Laxatives. They irritate the crap out of you

:laugh:

Funny! Stogie!

:grin:

:laugh:

Well I haven't celebrated my b-day as of yet...

> > A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. She saw many cute small bears on a bottom shelf all the way along the floor. There were cuddly medium-sized ones on the next higher shelf. Then there were huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall. The woman is kind of surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him and is quite impressed by his sensitive side. She turns to him. . . they kiss. . . and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love. After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow; the woman rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it? " He says, "You can choose any prize from the bottom shelf.":eek:

Welcome! Back!

Thank You for the a wonderful and colorful Happy B-day & Be-lated b-day wishes!!

That's the truth! The rich gets richer...

Thank you! Thank you! I want to give special thanks to my buddies Tony, Koky and Stogie for being there for me and responding to my silly joke emails, pictures and any other nonsense I have posted on the board. I also want to thank GA2 for explaining certian board lingo I wasn't familiar with when I first started posting on the board. :grin: I want to express my gratitude with everyone one else on the board for making feel welcome and part of the CP saga ( familia ) considering there are still a few that I haven't met as of yet. Thus far, it has been a pleasure. :shade: Finally and most importantly, I want to thank the creator of this board for creating this avenue that helped me meet that special someone in my life (Babe, u know who you are) . When I thought I was never going to meet that special someone, look where I meet him... Thank you to all CPers!!! Thought of the day... Live today for tomorrow is still unknown...

Three guys were talking in the local bar. The manager was so sure that its bouncer was the strongest man around that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him. The challenge was that the landlord would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money. Over the years many people had tried this, truck drivers, weightlifters, karate masters, and all had failed. Then one day this geeky little fella with heavy black rimmed glasses came into the bar and asked if he could try the challenge. After the laughter had subsided the landlord said that it was only fair that the man be given a chance at the bet, so he picked up a lemon and started squeezing. Once he was done he handed the remains to the little man who promptly squeezed out 4 more drops of juice onto the bar! Everyone looked on in amazement as the landlord handed over the prize and asked "What do you do for a living that has given you such strength? Are you a lumberjack, weightlifter, what?" "No" the man replied, "I work for the IRS."

I tried the link and it didn't work for me...

Nize pics!

Club God is within my reach! I remember when I first learned about this board. Thanks to my friend (he knows who he is) if he only knew what he did. Because of this board I have met many friends and met the special person in my life I have become addicted to this board and posting jokes and answering to threads I have no business reponding to. This is a addiction that I can't fight off. I just want to make it to club god... Is that too much to ask for. Club God I am here finally!!

It seems that there isn't that many CPers in Chicago.... What's up with that?? Do you guys try to have meet ups??

Wow! interesting line up...