naomi1

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries it's a long walk."

Great Dj...nice guy and most definitely approachable

I'm being nosy too...

:laugh: Funny, Stogie!

MARCO V at Space! Hmm! I would most definitely go see him

Thanks as always to DjDekan for hooking us up with the Tiesto set! Treepwood, where can I get that copy of that set from Tiesto in Israel???? I have DSL..

Missing shoe

This is a little long but it is very heart warming... Take a minute and view this link Link Sept. 11th is day to remember....

That was really good!

Mimid, I love you sig!

LMAO!! This shitz is funny.... :laugh:

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor."You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific." The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried. The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."

Very funny! Since we are doing marriage jokes here is something to think about.... marriage

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Director was hit by a bus and she died. Her soul was met at the Pearly gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in, it seems we have a problem. You see, we've never had a Human Resources Director make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," said the woman. "Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we are going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in." "Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven," said the woman. "Sorry,we have rules... " And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were all cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got in the elevator. The elevator opened at the Pearly gates and she found St. Peter waiting for her. She spent the next 24 hours lounging around on the clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her. "So you have spent a day in hell, and a day in Heaven. Now choose your eternity," he said. The woman replied: "Well I never thought I would say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell." So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went back to Hell. When the doors opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. "I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is are wastelands and garbage and all my friends look miserable." The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting you. Today, you're staff....."

Here is a "hard" quiz... Schwartzenegger has a big one Michael J. Fox has a small one Madonna doesn't have one The Pope has one but doesn't use his Clinton uses his all the time Mickey Mouse has an unusual one George Burns' was hot Liberace never used his on women Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his We never saw Lucy use Desi's What is it? Answer below! (this is really good) Did you get it yet??? Don't give up! Think really hard... You can do it! The answer is: "A Last Name."

Thanx!

Yes, 2nd his request. When will you be able to put the 2nd part of the Tiesto set. Or better yet where can I find it. PLEASE!!!!

Move the Cursor over the pictures....

> > > First Degree > > > > > > A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at two in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear." > > > > > > Second Degree > > > > > > Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me! > > > > > > > > > Third Degree > > > > > > A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. > > > The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" > > > The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!" > > > > > > > > > > > > Fourth Degree > > > > > > A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitols. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them. A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" > > > The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'." > > > > > > Fifth Degree > > > > > > What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?" > > > Sixth Degree > > > > > > Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware." > > > > > > > > > Seventh Degree > > > > > > Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."

Let's play nice guys! :grin:

LMAO!