I Think Things Are Finally Beginning To Change

[aboyfrombklyn]

Ok, so I've been with my girl the entire weekend and all I can think about is that girl from work. I almost feel guilty feeling that way, but then I think maybe things are changing. Maybe I'm not feeling the same way I used to feel about my girl. I feel like I'll always love her, but maybe I don't want to be with her anymore. I just turned down sex a few minutes ago, the first time ever with her. We had a decent weekend (went shopping, went out to dinner a few times), but all I could think about is the girl from work. All I could think about is looking forward to going back to work tomorrow so I could see her again, to Wednesday night when we're going out for dinner and a few drinks. I'm not keeping my hopes up too high with this girl from work, but it just makes me wonder about the situation I'm in now. Maybe it's time to move on.

I went out with a few friends from work (including the girl) on Thursday night and it was the first time in a long time where I didn't give a shit what my girl was up to. Actually felt really good. Is that a sign?

The girl even offered me to sleep over her house.

Tina, you're good at this stuff, help me!!!

[wideskies]

sometimes relationships go through "off" phases for whatever reason. have you been spending TOO much time with your girlfriend? perhaps you need some space (social, sexual, or bothl). even married couples don't see each other 24/7.

sometimes fantasies/crushes aren't at all destructive and result not from a real desire to be with someone else but maybe as a slight diversion from a relationship that has become a bit tedious simply because 1. you're spending too much time with the person you like/love or 2. the time you spend isn't doing an interesting variety of things and doesn't help the relationship "grow" in any way.

on the other hand, it does sound like your crush on the girl from work is interefering in your relationship, even if your girlfriend hasn't noticed yet. (btw, HAS she said anything about how you two are doing?)

regardless of the 'truth', make sure to be honest with yourself and with your girlfriend regarding your feelings for her. you don't have to tell her about the girl from work, but you SHOULD try to figure hat you really want from the relationship and then talk about it with her.

psst... don't take up any of work-girl's more-than-friendly offers unless you've broken it off with your girlfriend. being a jerk isn't the answer-- not that i am saying you are now. just don't even think about saying 'yes' to your crush's advances...

[georgym]

That's some great advice, wideskies

I'd also like to add that it's normal and ok to have your feelings go through this change... who knows, it may be for the better!

Just take your time with this girl from work---like WS said, don't accept those tempting offers until you clear stuff up w/ your current g/f (no matter how hard that might be!)

Maybe all you need is a little space. Just take your time and feel like you're making the right decision

[jy]

you just have to follow your heart. I'm sure you love your girlfriend dearly but maybe it isn't the type of love you originally thought it was. Sometimes people grow apart or just aren't meant to be together but can make wonderful friends.

Like you said when you went out with the girl from work it was the first time you didn't care what your girl was up to. I think that is a sign that you're moving on. I think you should tell your girl, afterall it's only fair she knows. If you're really interested in that girl from work like you say you are then I think you should do something about it.

Don't stay with someone when you're questioning the relationship especially when the doubts stem from meeting someone else.

[aboyfrombklyn]

Thank you all for the great advice. I really appreciate it. At first, I thought maybe it's just this sudden attraction to this girl at work, but I realize that even when I don't think about that, I'm still losing the attraction to my girl. We just finished having sex a few minutes ago and I totally regretted it. It's like I don't even want her touching me sometimes. I would never cheat on her or anyone else, that's just not my style. But I do believe that if I continue feeling this way, it can't go on much longer. I already explained to my girl earlier that I really didn't see it working out, but that I want her to be in my life no matter what happens. I just have to have some time alone to think long and hard about this one.