chula22 Posted June 20 Report Share Posted June 20 A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says,Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I knowyou'll forgive me."She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chula22 Posted June 20 Author Report Share Posted June 20 A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,"responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chula22 Posted June 20 Author Report Share Posted June 20 One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This timehe whispers in her ear:"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chula22 Posted June 20 Author Report Share Posted June 20 Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on hisown. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?""Oh...she got fired too." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJGaryMatthews Posted June 20 Report Share Posted June 20 :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chula22 Posted June 20 Author Report Share Posted June 20 A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in there a huge black dude is standing next to him. The big black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown." The small white guy faints!! The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy. "What's wrong?". The small white guy says;"Excuse me but what did you say?" The big black dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown." The small white guy says,"Thank god, I thought you said, "Turn around." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chula22 Posted June 20 Author Report Share Posted June 20 There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years." "Yeah,"she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at his breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here nakedas jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeg Posted June 20 Report Share Posted June 20 lmao... nice chula! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJGaryMatthews Posted June 20 Report Share Posted June 20 we need chula round here more often Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chula22 Posted June 20 Author Report Share Posted June 20 Awwww. Thanks you guys.HAHAAHAHA!MUAHZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz:kiss2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel1997 Posted June 21 Report Share Posted June 21 Originally posted by chula22 A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,"responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will." OMGhahhahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.