Emotinal Rollercoaster...

[envyla]

well,

I'm not quite sure what to make of this so maybe you people can give me a little impartial advice.

After a year with my ex boyfriend we came to a decision to end our relationship. It was more of his decision and I was forced to go along with it. At the time he told me that I made him extremely unhappy and actually told me that I made him miserable. The night it all ended he made it perfectly clear that he never wanted to speak with me again.

Two weeks passed and we hadn't spoken to each other at all except for the few times that we were both online and he decided to send me a message. I escaped conversations with him by cutting it short because to tell you the truth it isn't easy speaking with someone who not long ago accused you of ruining their life.

Not long after it was his birthday. I wasn't sure if I should send him a birthday wish and put it off to the last minute. Finally, I decided that I shouldn't call him but instead I sent him an email that just said Happy Birthday. I didn't have anything to say to him but just wanted him to know that I remembered.

That morning he called and thanked me for being sweet and whatnot. Since then, he's been calling me almost every second day and telling me that he wants me to be part of his life and that he can't live without me not being around. He told me that he didn't mean any of the things he told me that night and that he was just really frustrated at the situation.

It's been almost two weeks since we've sort of been speaking again and it really isn't going well. I can't help but be angry at him and because of it I can't bring myself to ever call him. Every time we talk we get into an argument and end up hanging up on each other.

I try and explain that it's difficult to be friends with a person who I spent a year of my life with and he just can't understand that the transition will be hard and will take time. That is if it will actually work in the end.

He's always accusing me of playing games with him and telling him that he's a terrible person. But, I never call because i'm too scared that he'll make me feel bad and I never really say much to him because I want to avoid the fights.

I'm terribly confused and i'm not sure what to do. Some people tell me that he's probably lonely and some others tell me that he's only out to hurt me.

I don't bother with him anymore and i think that is what's pushing him to run after me like this.

Do you think that friends after a break up is possible? or shoud I just continue not wanting to speak with him because it's in my best interest?

(i know it's long and i'm sorry. It just put a lot into perspective for myself)

[georgym]

I'll do my best to try and understand this situation. It actually sounds quite a bit like me and my girl, who have been going through a rollor coaster.

It seems like he said some things that he later regretted, and that's possible. But it seems like there was something not right. The fact that you 2 still argue after every conversation (is that right?) leads me to believe that you 2 aren't right for each other.

With me and smurfette, we had our problems. We broke up for 5 months, only to get back together very slowly. She sent me an email as well, Just a simple "Happy Birthday". I called her, and we're trying to make it work again. The only thing is, we don't argue much at all.

(I know u responded to my "being hurt" thread, so u know her deal and why we need patience)

But with your situation, envyla, it seems like you 2 need to really give it some time off. Go out with friends, and some casual dates. That way, you both will know for sure whether it is worth to try and start something that ended. Just starting again after a breakup will still show the wounds and lead to problems. But 2,3 maybe even 4 months away should tell you what you 2 truly have .

[envyla]

this is what i've been trying to do. I didn't want to get involved in any kind of relationship with him. I kept my distance but felt almost obliged to wish him a happy birthday and every since he's been calling. I can't help but be angry towards him and still even after I tell him that we aren't good for each other in a relationship or friendship he insists that we must stay part of each others lives.

I was quite happy those two weeks alone. I had the chance to do things and go out with friends which I was pretty much held back from in the past.

and now, it's taking a downward spiral. The second he said that the relationship was over should have been the second that all the bickering ended but instead he decided to come back for a second round and i'm just not in any mind frame to deal with him or the baggage it's creating.

[georgym]

Yeah, too much baggage isn't necessary, espec. at this stage of the game.

It sounds like he's taking whatever lil approach you do, and he exaggerates it to sound like u coming on to him. (heheh, ive been guilty of this) But with me, it's starting to work again. Im learning to listen to her and give her space, and she likes that about me.

I'd say to tell him straight out, "what you said that day really hurt me, and i don't want to speak to you right now" Let him know you're unhappy, and don't email him.

I believe that what's meant to be will be, and if in fact you 2 are made for each other, then you 2 might hook up again in the near future. But for now, based on your situation envyla, i'd say to cut off communication at least for a little while

[envyla]

i've told him you've hurt me and i don't want to talk and he insists that i give him 5 minutes until i get so frustrated at his lack of respect and hang up..

[georgym]

Originally posted by envyla

i've told him you've hurt me and i don't want to talk and he insists that i give him 5 minutes until i get so frustrated at his lack of respect and hang up..

drop him like a 15-pound balling ball and let him roll to the gutter

sorry, but if he isn't respecting you, and not hearing you out, then just ignore him. Trust me, it will bug him in the begin, but he should take a hint*

[SPYGIRL3]

Originally posted by envyla

I'm terribly confused and i'm not sure what to do. Some people tell me that he's probably lonely and some others tell me that he's only out to hurt me.

I don't bother with him anymore and i think that is what's pushing him to run after me like this.

Do you think that friends after a break up is possible? or shoud I just continue not wanting to speak with him because it's in my best interest?

(i know it's long and i'm sorry. It just put a lot into perspective for myself)

I think being friends is possible, but you have to remember the emtions that he brings out in you. You can't just turn them off an on. I personally would never date him again, but if does mean that much to you, even though he hurt, then maybe you two can make the friendship aspect work. Of course, it still hurts a lot, because it's a ll relaltively new. It might work, it might not, that just depends on how you two choose to make things work:)

[somebitch]

hrm...

if someone told me i was ruining their life and they never wanted to speak to me again i definitely wouldnt consider getting back together with them.

i think you are right about him wanting to be with you now because youre a challenge.

also, if you cant even call him because youre scared of getting upset or getting into fight, that says something.

i dunno, a year isnt really that long of a time to know someone, if you werent friends before your relationship, you barely know this guy. if i was you i would probably cut him off completely.

maybe you should try to work things out but it doesnt sound like:

#1 you want to

#2 hes worth it

[nycmuzik]

This song popped into my head when I saw the title of the thread....

ahw shit, yeah, that's right huh

Rollercoaster of Love

say what

Rollercoaster yeah (oohh oohh oohh)

Oh baby you know what I'm talking about

Rollercoaster of Love

oh yeah it's Rollercoaster time

lovin' you is really wild

Oh it¡äs just a love rollercoaster

step right up and get your tickets