dr0ne Posted July 19 Report Share Posted July 19 Four people were injured in a string of related bizarre accidents Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick's first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and, in addition to a good-bye kiss, she flashed her breasts at him. "I'm still not sure why I did it," she said later. "I was really close to the car, so I didn't think anyone would see; besides, it couldn't have been for more than two seconds." However, cab driver Vegas did see and lost control of his cab, running over the curb and into the corner of the Johnson Medical Building Inside, Klesick, a dental technician, was cleaning Corcoran's teeth. The crash of the cab against the building made her jump, tearing Corcoran's gums with a cleaning pick. In shock, Corcoran bit down, severing two fingers from Klesick's hand. Moeller's wound was caused by a falling piece of the medical building. Taos, New Mexico: A woman went to a poison control center after eating three birth-control vaginal inserts. Her English was so bad she had to draw a picture describing how she believed she had poisoned herself. A translator arrived shortly thereafter and confirmed doctors' suspicions Marie Valishnokov thought the inserts were some kind of candy or gum, being unable to read the foil wrappers. After the third one, she realized something was wrong when her throat and mouth began to fill with a sour-tasting foam. She ran for the Poison Control Center, only a few blocks away, where doctors were able to flush the foam from her mouth, throat and stomach with no ill effects. La Grange, California: Attorney Antonio Mendoza was released from a trauma center after having a cell phone removed from his rectum. "My dog drags the thing all over the house," he said later. "He must have dragged it into the shower. I slipped on the tile, tripped against the dog and sat down right on the thing". The extraction took more than three hours due to the fact that the cover to Mr. Mendoza's phone had opened during insertion. "He was a real trooper during the entire episode" said Dr. Dennis Cole. "Tony just cracked jokes and really seemed to be enjoying himself. Three times during the extraction his phone rang and each time, he made jokes about it that just had us rolling on the floor. By the time we finished, we really did expect to find an answering machine in there". Tacoma, Washington: Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least ten men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 a.m. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it". Bingham's foot was never located. Bremerton, Washington: Christopher Coulter and his wife, Emily, were engaging in bondage games when Christopher suggested spreading peanut butter on his testicles and letting Rudy, their Irish Setter, lick them clean. Sadly, Rudy lost control and began tearing at Christopher's genitals. Rudy refused to obey commands and a panicked Emily threw a half-gallon bottle of perfume at the dog. The bottle broke, covering the dog and Christopher with perfume. Startled, Rudy jumped back, tearing away the penis. While trying to get her unconscious husband in the car to take him to the hospital, Emily fell twice, injuring her wrist and ankle. Christopher's penis was in a styrofoam ice cooler. "Christopher is just plain lucky," said the surgeon who spent eight hours reattaching the penis. "Believe it or not, the perfume turned out to be very fortuitous. The high alcohol content, which must have been excruciatingly painful, helped sterilize the wound. Also, aside from it's being removed, the damage caused by the dog's teeth to the penis per se is minimal. It's really a very stringy piece of flesh. Mr. Coulter stands an excellent chance of regaining the use of his limb because of this." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted July 19 Report Share Posted July 19 oh my god. I've said it once, I'll say it again: Stupid people shouldnt be allowed to breed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted July 19 Report Share Posted July 19 . . . .been around the world and realized only stupid people were breeding . . . . . . . . . . I love the Cell phone one . . . It's like the dude who was walking naked through the kitchen with a police issue mag-lite and . . .OOOPSIE!! . . . yeeeouch!!! . . . . I've actually seen X-rays of that one . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted July 19 Report Share Posted July 19 Originally posted by phuturephunk [b. . . I love the Cell phone one . . . It's like the dude who was walking naked through the kitchen with a police issue mag-lite and . . .OOOPSIE!! . . . yeeeouch!!! . . . . I've actually seen X-rays of that one . . . YEah,. that one's histerical Tony just cracked jokes and really seemed to be enjoying himself. Three times during the extraction his phone rang and each time, he made jokes about it that just had us rolling on the floor. By the time we finished, we really did expect to find an answering machine in there". Get the freAk outta here, you KNOW he was trying to pleasure himself or something Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr0ne Posted July 19 Author Report Share Posted July 19 yeah i think that one and the first were the best. i can imagine the doctors in the operating room like trying to get the thing out...*ring* *ring*"oh i think its for me, could someone please get that?"then the doctors just fucking totally losing it right there. hahahah. and accidentally ripping the guys asshole with the scapel :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr0ne Posted July 19 Author Report Share Posted July 19 if i were him i'd call his own phone to change the answer machine message:"hello you've reached tony. my phone is currently up my ass at this moment, but if you leave your name and phone number, i'll get back to you as soon as possible. thank you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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