Official 2003 Jersey Board CeePee Award Presentation!

[vip-tech]

Most of you have stuck your .02 cents in, the nominations have been counted. Ladies and gentlemen (crackheads too), its the moment you've all been waiting for....... The Official 2003 Jersey Board CeePee Award Presentation! Hosted by Eminem and Christina Aguilera, sponsored in part by ClubPlanet, RedBull, Grey Goose, Diesel Jeans and The Factory House Dealers. With special guest celebrity presenters including Crackhead Bob, Whitney Houston, Madonna, Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee, Scott Weiland, Run DMC, Flava Flav, Snoop Doggy Dog, RuPaul, Dennis Rodman, Vanilla Ice, Jerry Springer, The Tidy Bowl Man, Jack Daniels, Hulk Hogan, Derek Jeter, Carmen Electra, Brooke Burke, Howard Stern, Jackie The Jokeman, Mike Tyson, Michael Imperioli, James Gandophini and many many more! (The things I'll do to amuse myself when I'm home sick, better then just sitting here I guess. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!)

Music and Industry CeePee's...

Most Amazing Voice of The Year

The award is being presented by... Whitney Houston, live via satellite from the Betty Ford Clinic!

And the winner is... Reina, doing a special live performance to kick off the show!

Best Track of The Year

The award is being presented by... Run DMC!

And the winner is... Reina, No One's Gonna Change You (Jonathan Peters)

Worst Track of The Year

The award is being presented by... Louie DeVito!

And the winner is... Shiny Disco Balls

Producer of The Year

The award is being presented by... Flava Flav!

And the winner is... Jonathan Peters for his arrangement on Reina, No One's Gonna Change You.

Producer Most Likely To Turn Out The Same Beats

The award is being presented by... Snoop Doggy Dog!

And the winner is... Robbie Rivera

Venues of The Year (NJ) - Summer

The award is being presented by... Halle Berry!

And the winner is... Tempts, reigning champ for several years now!

Venues of The Year (NJ) - Off-Season

The award is being presented by... Chris Rock!

And the winner is... Metro

Venue of The Year (NY)

The award is being presented by... Rudy Guiliani, former New York City Mayor!

And there is no winner... the scene in New York sucks, bring on Crobar!

Worst Venue of The Year

The award is being presented by... David Letterman!

And the winner is... Exit

Best Decorated Venue

The award is being presented by... former "Wild On" host, Brooke Burke!

And the winner is... Opium Garden, South Beach

Best "New" Party of The Year

The award is being presented by... the best clutch shortstop in baseball, Derek Jeter!

And the winner is... Deko Lounge, too bad there is too many damn people in there!

Poorest Excuse For A Party This Year

The award is being presented by... Vanilla Ice!

And the winner is... DoublePlay Promo @ Rio

Best DJ of The Year

The award is being presented by... Danny Tenaglia!

And the winner is... Richie Rydell

Worst DJ of The Year

The award is being presented by... our very own DjBg!

And the winner is... Marshall Fairbanks

Hardest Working Industry Mofo of The Year

The award is being presented by... the Sopranos, Michael Imperioli and Drea DeMatteo!

And the winner is... ML2K1

Best Promoter of The Year

The award is being presented by... James Gandolphini as Tony Soprano!

And the winner is... Sergio, the man who brought you Robbie Rivera, Hex Hector and many more! Whats in store for 2003?

Shittiest Promoter of The Year

The award is being presented by... Jerry Springer!

And the winner is... Original Crew @ Cherri, before Elite!

Best Live Performance of The Year

The award is being presented by... Madonna!

And the winner is... Luz Divina @ Metro

DJ Most Likely To Have His CD Thrown Out The Window (Also The Richest Dj)

The award is being presented by... Jersey's very own Dj BG!

And the winner is... Louie DeVito

Bathroom Attendant of The Year

The award is being presented by... the Tidy Bowl Man!

And the winner is... Tempts Bathroom Immigrant

Bartenders of The Year - Female and Male

The award is being presented by... Woody Boyd from Cheers!

And the winners are... George @ Metro and Ceeotter @ Tempts

Drink of The Year

The award is being presented by... the gentleman, Jack Daniels!

And the winner is... Red Bull and The Vodka of Your Choice

Shot of The Year

The award is being presented by... Frankie from Tempts, formerly Frankie Long Hair!

And the winner is... SoCo and Lime

Jersey Board Ceepee's...

Wurst Spelerr On Tha Bord

The award is being presented by... BabaBooey from The Howard Stern Show!

And the winner is... TrewGuy

Hottie of The Year - Female and Male

The award is being presented by... Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt!

And the winners are... Stardo and ______. Sorry, I wont make the deciding vote on a guy. There are so many beautiful girls on this board, its hard to pick just one… Mystify, LatinaZ, Angelicious, Neena, Hunnie and many more that I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting. Don’t feel left out if I missed you girls, you’re all beautiful in your own right.

Crackheads of The Year - Female and Male

The award is being presented by... Scott Weiland with Crackhead Bob from The Howard Stern Show! See what drugs do?

And the winners are... Roddigga and doubleduece or Siciliagirl?

Drunks of The Year - Female and Male

The award is being presented by... George Wendt as Norm from Cheers!

And the winners are... Hunnie and Tempkid

Nicest Person On The Board - Female and Male

The award is being presented by... Sophia Lauren and Robert DeNiro!

And the winners are... Dknybabe, LatinaZ, Neena and Sticky

Best Dressed - Female and Male

The award is being presented by... Salma Hayek and NJDionysus!

And the winners are... DramaqueenB and BadAss

PostWhore of the Year - Female and Male

The award is being presented by... Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafucco!

And the winners are... Hunnie and Notallthere

Couple of The Year

The award is being presented by... Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky!

And the winner is... the newlyweds, Mr. "Piro" and his beautiful wife, Mrs. Neena

Juicehead of The Year

The award is being presented by... Hollywood Hulk Hogan!

And the winner is... rdntheshortbus

Girl Not To Be Messed With

The award is being presented by... Kiana Tom!

And the winner is... Misk, good things come in small packages.

Best Tits

The award is being presented by... Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee!

And the winner is... JenniJugs would be the obvious choice, but Doubledeuce is the most popular choice. Personally I’ve never seen Doubledeuce, so I’m not sure. I think we should have a wet t-shirt contest to determine the winner. What do you think ladies?

Best Ass

The award is being presented by... Jennifer Lopez!

And the winner is... Vera @ Lookers, no she is not on the board but damnnn thats some ass!

Best Smile

The award is being presented by... Britney Spears!

And the winner is... Mystify82281

Tang Coordinator of The Year

The award is being presented by... Jenna Jameson!

And the winner is... Stardo

Most Likely To Be Mangled (In A Hole)

The award is being presented by... all g'd up - Nick Nolte, prerecorded Sept. 14 from the Connecticut Rehabilitation Center!

And the winner is... has anyone seen TrewGuy? I beleive the winner is too mangled to understand that he won.

Most Likely To Buy Shots

The award is being presented by... Charlie Sheen!

And the winner is... George at Metro and Kosta Mothafuckin P.

Most Likely To Be Photographed By NJGuido

The award is being presented by... Jackie The Jokeman!

And the winner is... That red headed dude in the construction hat, Moo stop taking photos of your friends - especially the guys!

Most Likely To Call Someone On The Board A "Feg"

The award is being presented by... Michael Jackson!

And the winner is... PipDaddy

Most Photographed On The Board

The award is being presented by... Carmen Electra!

And the winner is... SolarGirl, she makes a good subject too.

Most Likely To Dance On The Bar

The award is being presented by... Paula Abdul!

And the winner is... LatinaZ

Most Likely To Lose Her Keys, Purse and Car

The award is being presented by... Courtney Love!

And the winner is... "allegedly" LatinaZ!

Most Likely To Rock A Hat or A Wig and Look Good

The award is being presented by... RuPaul!

And the winner is... LatinaZ

Most Likely To Kick Someone In The Face While Dancing

The award is being presented by... Jackie Chan!

And the winner is... Hunnie

Most Likely To Break Some Teeth

The award is being presented by... Mike Tyson!

And the winner is... Tempkid, still waiting to see you knock someone out bro!

Most Likely To Have Some Teeth Broken

The award is being presented by... Vincent Pastore as "Big Pussy Bonpensiero" from the Sopranos!

And the winner is... Caleb, personally I want to break his neck!

Biggest Crews - Female and Male

The award is being presented by... New York Yankees!

And the winners are... The Chickens and The Donkey Boyz

Drama Queen of The Year

The award is being presented by... Mariah Carey, live via satellite from the end of her career!

And the winner is... Laurie619, though she faded late in the year. The summer drama was enough to get her the award.

Drama King of The Year

The award is being presented by... Dennis Rodman!

And the winner is... DoublePlay, no more dirty laundry in 2003 please. Michigan still sucks you fauker - Ohio State Buckeyes, National Champions!!!

Biggest Bitch of The Year

The award is being presented by... Shannen Doherty from 90210!

And the winner is... JPDD, taking home a lifetime subscription to http://www.bitchmagazine.com

CockBlocker of The Year

The award is being presented by... Former President Bill Clinton!

And the winner is... Hardcorekrock, I believe you were the only one nominated?

Online Toughguy of The Year

The award is being presented by... Boxing promoter Don King!

And the winner is... Tempkid, has anyone actually seen him break some teeth?

KnowItAll of The Year

The award is being presented by... George Steinbrenner!

And the winner is... Brian1500

Asshole of The Year

The award is being presented by... Howard K. Stern from The Anna Nicole Smith Show!

And the winner is... Saleen351, if this board sucks, why do you keep coming back?

NJGuido of The Year

The award is being presented by... John Travolta as Danny Terrio from Saturday Night Fever!

And the winner is... The Moo, he started all the madness with www.njguido.com

Biggest Bullshit Artist of The Year

The award is being presented by... Miss Cleo, call her now at 1.800.554.6196!

And the winner is... Notallthere, though his posts are very amusing.

NJBoard Comedian of The Year

The award is being presented by... Joe Pesce!

And the winner is... GeorgeAcosta2

Most Likely To Still Not Have Met Most of You In 2003

The award is being presented by... Harry Houdini!

And the winner is... Myself, one of these days I promise. Though I must say, those of you that I have met were great people. Happy New Year everyone!

Recently added awards...

Club Gypsy: Most Venues Traveled,

Turning Most Nights into Mornings

The award is being presented by... Ozzy Osbourne!

And the winner is... DjDan "Middle Finger" Fury

Most Likely To Rock A Sleeveless Without Juicing

The award is being presented by... Vin Diesel!

And the winner is... Tempkid

Biggest (Self Proclaimed) Dork With A Great Smile

The award is being presented by... Lisa Kudrow!

And the winner is... Solargirl

Official PostDork

The award is being presented by... Jim Carey!

And the winner is... perns2003

On behalf of your hosts Eminem and Christina Aguilera, I'd like to congratulate all the "winners!"

this shit was tooooo funny

[misk]

...i keep mine on the mantle

[njdionysus]

This is classic enough for me to peak my head back in. I remember being sicks for days, shit took me forever to type out. The first and last OCP awards.

[johnnylaw]

Made my day, LOL

[v1hcom]

very cool.

Movie Reviews

[stiffler]

That was some of the funniest shit ever.....................

[njdionysus]

Bump

[thehype]

using this on NJG...since it seems most CP flew over there

[thesandman]

wait, this board used to be fun?