JonStephen Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 I might as well spill my guts cause a couple people know this already....My ex-girlfriend, the only girl I've ever loved or even said 'I love you' to and meant it is about to get married soon. To make matters worse, she asked me to be her fiancee's usher.This girl and I split up on friendly terms and it was all due to the fact that she was a senior in college moving to DC and I was a Junior about to go into my senior year. Long distance things dont ever work. I talk to this girl all the time and we are coooler than cool.....but I still love her. Its to the point that every girl I'm with I compare her to and I've been a rotten boyfriend because of it to any girl I tried to get close with.Now she is gettin married and I get that complete feel of 'why not me.' Besides being the most down to earth girl, she's one real hot Russian chick that complimented me so well. I wish her well, but I still am seriously gettin fucked up cause of this.I don't know why I set this in the open, but I had to get this off my chest and it seems like every female friend I have that I want to talk about my dilema couldn't be bothered.I'm sorry I had to vent, but I cant think straight. Maybe I'm lookin for someone to slap me in the head to come back to normality, but I know I'm not doing any good where I am right now.I dont know whats up.......I'm feelin real bad right now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuGaRNSpIcE Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 Originally posted by djjonstephen I might as well spill my guts cause a couple people know this already....My ex-girlfriend, the only girl I've ever loved or even said 'I love you' to and meant it is about to get married soon. To make matters worse, she asked me to be her fiancee's usher.This girl and I split up on friendly terms and it was all due to the fact that she was a senior in college moving to DC and I was a Junior about to go into my senior year. Long distance things dont ever work. I talk to this girl all the time and we are coooler than cool.....but I still love her. Its to the point that every girl I'm with I compare her to and I've been a rotten boyfriend because of it to any girl I tried to get close with.Now she is gettin married and I get that complete feel of 'why not me.' Besides being the most down to earth girl, she's one real hot Russian chick that complimented me so well. I wish her well, but I still am seriously gettin fucked up cause of this.I don't know why I set this in the open, but I had to get this off my chest and it seems like every female friend I have that I want to talk about my dilema couldn't be bothered.I'm sorry I had to vent, but I cant think straight. Maybe I'm lookin for someone to slap me in the head to come back to normality, but I know I'm not doing any good where I am right now.I dont know whats up.......I'm feelin real bad right now have u told her how feel, honestly????? or did u just keep to yourself about the situation??? and just keep it as friends not to ruin your status with her??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonStephen Posted February 6 Author Report Share Posted February 6 Originally posted by sugarnspice69 have u told her how feel, honestly????? or did u just keep to yourself about the situation??? and just keep it as friends not to ruin your status with her??? She knows I love her still and she still loves me.....but we are so far apart and we havn't been together for more than two years now so we have been doing our own thing for a while. I still talk to this girl constantly, over the phone its like we share so much still....I dont know....its like the worst breakup you can have cause its not cause of problems, its becasue of limitations.I hate this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psychosweetie Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 Originally posted by djjonstephen I might as well spill my guts cause a couple people know this already....My ex-girlfriend, the only girl I've ever loved or even said 'I love you' to and meant it is about to get married soon. To make matters worse, she asked me to be her fiancee's usher.This girl and I split up on friendly terms and it was all due to the fact that she was a senior in college moving to DC and I was a Junior about to go into my senior year. Long distance things dont ever work. I talk to this girl all the time and we are coooler than cool.....but I still love her. Its to the point that every girl I'm with I compare her to and I've been a rotten boyfriend because of it to any girl I tried to get close with.Now she is gettin married and I get that complete feel of 'why not me.' Besides being the most down to earth girl, she's one real hot Russian chick that complimented me so well. I wish her well, but I still am seriously gettin fucked up cause of this.I don't know why I set this in the open, but I had to get this off my chest and it seems like every female friend I have that I want to talk about my dilema couldn't be bothered.I'm sorry I had to vent, but I cant think straight. Maybe I'm lookin for someone to slap me in the head to come back to normality, but I know I'm not doing any good where I am right now.I dont know whats up.......I'm feelin real bad right now Talk about waiting till the last minute. You probably should have told her how you felt sooner b/c now it might be too late if she is getting married? Thats a really rought situation and I cant even imagine what your going through b/c I would freak out if that was happening to me. You could always tell her how you feel, but that might make things bad between you guys b/c of the timing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonStephen Posted February 6 Author Report Share Posted February 6 Originally posted by psychosweetie Talk about waiting till the last minute. You probably should have told her how you felt sooner b/c now it might be too late if she is getting married? Thats a really rought situation and I cant even imagine what your going through b/c I would freak out if that was happening to me. You could always tell her how you feel, but that might make things bad between you guys b/c of the timing Timing isn't really the thing.....she's had the same boyfriend since six months after we broke up and he's been good to her.....she's always known what we felt for each other.....Its a seriously fucked up situation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psychosweetie Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 Originally posted by djjonstephen Timing isn't really the thing.....she's had the same boyfriend since six months after we broke up and he's been good to her.....she's always known what we felt for each other.....Its a seriously fucked up situation How does she feel about you? I think if her feelings are that strong for you, maybe she shouldnt be getting married? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuGaRNSpIcE Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 Originally posted by djjonstephen She knows I love her still and she still loves me.....but we are so far apart and we havn't been together for more than two years now so we have been doing our own thing for a while. I still talk to this girl constantly, over the phone its like we share so much still....I dont know....its like the worst breakup you can have cause its not cause of problems, its becasue of limitations.I hate this if u really , really, love her, u should b happy 4 her no matter what, even if it does not inclue u in her life in that way, but does she know how u really feel? if not, it may seen weird , but u should still do it, its not necessarily too late, shes not married yet!!! dont kick urself in the ass later by not saying anything now. (this is so romantic) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghhhhhost Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 grin and bear it jonnie boy...dont do anything stupid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psychosweetie Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 Originally posted by sugarnspice69 if u really , really, love her, u should b happy 4 her no matter what, even if it does not inclue u in her life in that way, but does she know how u really feel? if not, it may seen weird , but u should still do it, its not necessarily too late, shes not married yet!!! dont kick urself in the ass later by not saying anything now. (this is so romantic) the whole situation is very "ross & rachel" like from Friends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuGaRNSpIcE Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 Originally posted by psychosweetie the whole situation is very "ross & rachel" like from Friends i know, i love that show, its kinda cute in a way and sux at the same time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuGaRNSpIcE Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 sux Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintron Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 Originally posted by ghhhhhost grin and bear it jonnie boy...dont do anything stupid tis all that can be done, man. you love her and that means you respect her and her own choices, however painful they may be.things happen for a reason. keep your head up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonStephen Posted February 6 Author Report Share Posted February 6 Originally posted by psychosweetie How does she feel about you? I think if her feelings are that strong for you, maybe she shouldnt be getting married? It aint really like that.......I think its more or less me just having a weird time accepting this more so than anything else.I'll stop whining in a week or so I'm sure. I've known about this for three weeks now but I talked to her last night and it just got me thinking weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcid21 Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 well, it's definetly possible to love two people at the same time.Jon, seriously....if I were you I would value whatever relationship the two of you still have. It takes two really strong people to withstand the bullshit of breaking up, regardless whether two days or two years have gone by.You really don't have many options at the moment, except to sit back and take the ride. In your heart of hearts you know that when all is said and done, if you love her as much as you say (( and i don't doubt what u say for a second )) ... you'll be happy that she's happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petp Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 i feel your pain. dont mean to be brutal, perhaps im even wrong, but it seems like u cant go on with your life since you have feelings for her....so the remedy seems to be to cut off all ties with her. OR...what i dont understand, and ive experienced this in the past....if a person says they 'love' you, how come they go out with other people???? if she really loved you, and vice-versa, shouldnt she be waiting to finish school and come to nyc...or you move to DC???? to me thats real love. i dunno, im just rambling. in the meantime jonstephen, THERES ALWAYS ALCOHOL!!! :D :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ou812 Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 OK, listen to me very carefully, this is what you need to do. Agree to be the usher and go to the wedding. When everyone is standing there at the altar and the priest goes through the whole song and dance, wait till the very last minute when he says "speak now or forever hold your peace" yell out at the top of your lungs that you love her and you can let this happen, then grab her and kiss her very passionately right on front of her husband to be, then run out of the church as fast as you can before he and the rest of his family (possibly hers too) tries to lynch your ass.It's the only logical thing to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 Fuck, I'm really sorry to hear about all of this. But if she knows how you feel, there's nothing more you can do. And if she doesn't- well, it would be a really selfish thing to unload upon her now. There's nothing to do but grin and bear it, be happy that she's happy. But you already knew that. Maybe in the long run this is a good thing for you. Maybe it'll help to chose a chapter of your life that's been left open, and help you heal and move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintron Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 there's a clearance at the local gun shop here in case you change your mind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meli2444 Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 THE WAY IT SOUNDS IS AS IF SHE KNOWS YOU LOVE HER BUT AS A FRIEND. IF THIS IS THE ONLY WOMAN YOU EVER LOVED.....THEN YOU SHOULD TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL. MAYBE SHE SIMPLY THINKS YOU DON'T LOVE HER THAT WAY ANYMORE. YOU SHOULD GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST AND TELL HER. IF NOT, YOU MIGHT BE KICKING YOURSELF IN THE ASS FOREVER FOR NOT SAYING SOMETHING NOW.GOOD LUCK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 if she knows you love her,and she loves you, why didn't you two get together? besides the distance, what else has kept you away...if you still feel strongly for her after being apart for so long, maybe it's something worth looking into...or then again, when was the last time you had another relationship or got seriously flamed up by another girl? maybe you're in love with the notion of being in love with her..i dunno, i'm just speculating, but if you feel so bad, what do you plan to do about it? sit there and let her marry this guy without clearing it from your chest? i think you should go there, see her in person, and then see what happens. if there is still chemistry and the feelings just get stronger,not weaker, then maybe she is the One.at least this way you won't have to live with the "what if..." question all your life. who knows, maybe she'll jump in your arms and run away with you to crete. who knows. then again, what do i know... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonStephen Posted February 7 Author Report Share Posted February 7 To get the story straight with everyone......we broke up basically because of distance only. She was graduating and moving to DC and I was going into my senior year at Bucknell. We both been through long distance things and realized they dont work.All told we still kept in touch and I definately dont love her like I used to such as I dont think about her all the time but I still care for her.I think its more of the 'why not me' thinking and/or 'coulda been me'. It might be selfishness on my part but thats how I feel.Thanx for the concern.......it means a lot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted February 7 Report Share Posted February 7 I don't know why I set this in the open, but I had to get this off my chest and it seems like every female friend I have that I want to talk about my dilema couldn't be bothered.First off fuck you, why didn't you call me? Like a sister huh:rolleyes: Babes ya know I am always here for you. Anytime, all the time. She knows I love her still and she still loves me.....Secondly, babes if she really did love you why would she get married in the first place. I'm not trying to be mean hun but look at it this way, she is getting married and there is nothing you can do or say, unless you stop the wedding. . . but do you really want to do that. I mean don't you want to see her happy? Look I know its hard but babes I guess you have to deal with it. Call me if you need anything. MUAHZ. Love you babes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintron Posted February 7 Report Share Posted February 7 Originally posted by cintron there's a clearance at the local gun shop here in case you change your mind listen to the voices in your head Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted February 7 Report Share Posted February 7 Originally posted by djjonstephen I might as well spill my guts cause a couple people know this already....My ex-girlfriend, the only girl I've ever loved or even said 'I love you' to and meant it is about to get married soon. To make matters worse, she asked me to be her fiancee's usher.This girl and I split up on friendly terms and it was all due to the fact that she was a senior in college moving to DC and I was a Junior about to go into my senior year. Long distance things dont ever work. I talk to this girl all the time and we are coooler than cool.....but I still love her. Its to the point that every girl I'm with I compare her to and I've been a rotten boyfriend because of it to any girl I tried to get close with.Now she is gettin married and I get that complete feel of 'why not me.' Besides being the most down to earth girl, she's one real hot Russian chick that complimented me so well. I wish her well, but I still am seriously gettin fucked up cause of this.I don't know why I set this in the open, but I had to get this off my chest and it seems like every female friend I have that I want to talk about my dilema couldn't be bothered.I'm sorry I had to vent, but I cant think straight. Maybe I'm lookin for someone to slap me in the head to come back to normality, but I know I'm not doing any good where I am right now.I dont know whats up.......I'm feelin real bad right now This is easy..... just dont quote me......Do one of the following, its guaranteed results or your broken heart back !!!1: Forget her and move on !! Life is more than old flames !!OR2: Since they invited you to the wedding, when the priest/father/rabbi/judge asks if anyone got beef with the two gettin married,....just jump right up and say your piece. And dont take "your are being a jerk" comments from the audience. Depending on the laws of the state they are getting married in, I suggest you grab her when everybody still got their jaws dropped in wonder...and find the nearest FedEx truck and ride into the sunset.......She may resent it at the time, but she will have awesome romantic stories to tell your daughters....just ma $0.02... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siceone Posted February 7 Report Share Posted February 7 DO NOT PUT YOUR SELF IN ANY POSITION Where you can fuck this up do not, Be an Usher that's the biggest slap in the FACE EVER !!! Keep your Dignity. she might love you but if she knew that you loved her and still got married It wasn't enough bro truth you just gotta let it go man she made her choice and you can't really ruin that for her. you know? Good luck in all you decide you know you have my support Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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