BRIAN1500 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 50 things guys wish girls knew...... 1. If you want to cuddle after sex go buy a teddy bear.2. Swallow. Don't start the race if you ain't gonna finish it. 3. While giving a hand job please remove all rings from your fingers, they hurt really bad.4. Shave your shit. Seriously, shave it bald. 5. Remember that a little blood never hurt nobody.6. There is no such thing as a fat, ugly, blow job. 7. If you ask us to any sort of dance that requires that we wear a tie, we expect a sexual favor in return.8. If you used a vibrator and let us watch it might be the greatest moment of our life. 9. If you wonder why we will not eat you out it is most likely because; it stinks, its hairy, or it stinks and its hairy.10. You masturbate and we know it. When you do it just let us watch. 11. Birth control is the best invention ever. Start poppin those bitches.12. Just cause we call you when we are drunk does not mean that we like you. It means that we need some ass.`13. Guys night out means guys night out. It doesn't mean that you and your friends meet us at the bar later.14. If you wonder why your ass looks fat in those tight pants its because you have a fat ass. 15. If you are with us and you start to cry for any reason just get up and leave.16. Don't think that we don't know that after we take you out and you order a salad to make us think you eat healthy that you go home and order pizza with your fat friends. 17. Once again, seriously shave your shit.18. Just cause you get our dick one night, does not give you any right to get it the next. 19. If we drink too much, we do not need someone to hold our hair back and act like our babysitter. We have puked before and know how to handle it.20. After we are through with you, do not expect to make us jealous by fucking our friends. We really don't care what you do. 21. If we cheat on you and you never find out about it, then its not cheating.22. If we cheat on you and you do find out, at least it wasn't with one of your friends. 23. Swallow(just in case you forgot #2 already).24. We don't have a problem with watching chick flicks as long as we get in your pants after. 25. Never under any circumstance take a shit while you are around us or fart. Just thinking about it makes us sick.26. While giving us head don't be afraid to fondle our testicles, they don't bite. 27. If you are gonna jerk us off aim properly, a nut can irritate your eye.28. Always remember that men are the superior sex and back in the day you had to ask us if you could speak. 29. If we're about to have sex and we decline because we don't have a rubber its not because we're scared we're gonna get you pregnant, its that we're scared we're gonna catch something from your dirty skank ass.30. If you swallow like you should, do not expect us to kiss you after. Sorry that's just the way it is. 31. I don't care if you do have a flavored condom, you just don't give a blow job with a condom on. Would you like us to eat you out with a dental damn?? I didn't think so.32. If we're doing it doggy style there is no reason to turn around and look at us, we're focused on your ass cheeks and that slapping sound. 33. Blood stains on our bed sheets come off with cold water, so make sure you scrub them thoroughly before leaving.34. When we go down on you to munch on your rug and we instantly start sucking on the inner thighs rather than the clit, its because your clit smells like a dead trout. 35. If you let us donkey punch you we will owe you for life.36. Just cause we have sex with you when we are drunk does not mean that you are pretty or that we like you. It means that you were our only choice. 37. If we dance with you for more than 15 minutes at a bar we expect you to come home with us. 38. If you think that you are ugly, we probably do too. 39. Don't count on us saying we love you, its just not going to happen.40. If for some reason we do say we love you its only because we want to have sex immediately after we say it. 41. Just cause you have our phone number doesn't mean we want you to call us. If we want to talk then we will call you.42. If you invite us over to watch a movie it would be awesome if we watched a porn instead of a movie. 43. If you can't dance then you most likely suck in bed. So stop trying to dance and start having more sex.44. Hmmmmm......girls in thongs.......yummmmmmmmmm 45. If you are fat the only way you are going to get anywhere in life is to give great blow jobs. Sorry that's just the way it is.46. A sure way to keep a guy around for awhile is to have anal sex with him. We can't put into words how it feels. 47. You don't have to ask our permission to make out with another chick. Just do it but make sure we are there to watch.48. In case you didn't read #4 and #17 let me repeat...Shave your shit! 49. Guys don't have sex or make love, we fuck.50. You can impress us if you can swallow our entire load without dripping or wiping your mouth afterwards. Seriously ladies this list is the truth and all guys think this way. If your boyfriend says that he does not agree with these then he is either a fag or he does not have the balls to admit it like I just did. This list is all that you need. Take your pussy Seventeen magazines or whatever the hell that you read and burn them or something, those quizzes in there do not mean shit. I would like to thank all of those who gave input, I couldn't have done it without you. :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magilicuti Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 "8. If you used a vibrator and let us watch it might be the greatest moment of our life."if the girl isn't your girl and is kinda teasing you then that's cool but if she's your girl or something i don't really see the point of her getting off with a vibrator, no fun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notallthere Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 that was some of the funniest shit i ever readhahahha stupid bitches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liqidtouch Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 35. If you let us donkey punch you we will owe you for life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erica127 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 holy shit...my roommate & i were laughin hystercial over here...thanx Brian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelly0616 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 eww... i hope you guys dont seriously belive believe this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xrapturex Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by liqidtouch What the hell is that anyways??I must be sheltered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ou812 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by xrapturex What the hell is that anyways??I must be sheltered. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.Wanna know more of these clever little terms???...............I'll post up a whole bunch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misk Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by BRIAN1500 50 things guys wish girls knew......10. You masturbate and we know it. When you do it just let us watch.`13. Guys night out means guys night out. It doesn't mean that you and your friends meet us at the bar later.14. If you wonder why your ass looks fat in those tight pants its because you have a fat ass. 15. If you are with us and you start to cry for any reason just get up and leave.16. Don't think that we don't know that after we take you out and you order a salad to make us think you eat healthy that you go home and order pizza with your fat friends. 19. If we drink too much, we do not need someone to hold our hair back and act like our babysitter. We have puked before and know how to handle it. ...that goes for me too...not just guys lol.......seriously20. After we are through with you, do not expect to make us jealous by fucking our friends. We really don't care what you do. ...tell some of my stupid friends that! 21. If we cheat on you and you never find out about it, then its not cheating.24. We don't have a problem with watching chick flicks as long as we get in your pants after. 25. Never under any circumstance take a shit while you are around us or fart. Just thinking about it makes us sick.29. If we're about to have sex and we decline because we don't have a rubber its not because we're scared we're gonna get you pregnant, its that we're scared we're gonna catch something from your dirty skank ass. :laugh: 30. If you swallow like you should, do not expect us to kiss you after. Sorry that's just the way it is.32. If we're doing it doggy style there is no reason to turn around and look at us, we're focused on your ass cheeks and that slapping sound. 33. Blood stains on our bed sheets come off with cold water, so make sure you scrub them thoroughly before leaving.34. When we go down on you to munch on your rug and we instantly start sucking on the inner thighs rather than the clit, its because your clit smells like a dead trout. 35. If you let us donkey punch you we will owe you for life.36. Just cause we have sex with you when we are drunk does not mean that you are pretty or that we like you. It means that you were our only choice.**38. If you think that you are ugly, we probably do too.40. If for some reason we do say we love you its only because we want to have sex immediately after we say it. 41. Just cause you have our phone number doesn't mean we want you to call us. If we want to talk then we will call you.42. If you invite us over to watch a movie it would be awesome if we watched a porn instead of a movie. 45. If you are fat the only way you are going to get anywhere in life is to give great blow jobs. Sorry that's just the way it is.46. A sure way to keep a guy around for awhile is to have anal sex with him. We can't put into words how it feels. 47. You don't have to ask our permission to make out with another chick. Just do it but make sure we are there to watch. ....those were the best....lmao.....that was a great thing to wake up to......i always find these so much more amusing then the girly ones! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 :rolleyes: Oh boy..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prettyricky Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 :laugh: SWALLOW:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reeni Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 if i swallow i better get a kiss afterwards Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liqidtouch Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by Reeni if i swallow i better get a kiss afterwards MUWAH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aim4night Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 lmao. things your mother never told you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRIAN1500 Posted March 6 Author Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by xrapturex What the hell is that anyways??I must be sheltered. Ill show you later. :tongue: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perns2002 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 10. You masturbate and we know it. When you do it just let us watch.Wait what girl doesn't? DUHHHHHHHHHH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swngingjohnson Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by perns2002 10. You masturbate and we know it. When you do it just let us watch.Wait what girl doesn't? DUHHHHHHHHHH That's the point, you all do.....just some try to deny it..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perns2002 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by swngingjohnson That's the point, you all do.....just some try to deny it..... Ehhhhhhhhhh HeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmI meant what girl doesn't let you watch - DOH - !!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swngingjohnson Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by perns2002 Ehhhhhhhhhh HeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmI meant what girl doesn't let you watch - DOH - !!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhh got ya now.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perns2002 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by swngingjohnson ahhhhhhh got ya now.... Good - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liqidtouch Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by perns2002 Good - im bringin my cameraand some lights with a generatorin case to power goes out again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axel-a-promos Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by BRIAN1500 50 things guys wish girls knew......12. Just cause we call you when we are drunk does not mean that we like you. It means that we need some ass. finally ...someone said it.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peteyplayboy Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Always remember that men are the superior sex and back in the day you had to ask us if you could speak.LOL, Funny Stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelicious Posted March 7 Report Share Posted March 7 that list was gross. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ninadd Posted March 7 Report Share Posted March 7 I agree with Jess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.