Jump to content
Clubplanet Nightlife Community

"I do..."


dgmodel

Recommended Posts

if you were to be the best man at a wedding, which you do not approve of, would you do it??? i have a situation here... im to be the best man of a wedding (june'03) and i do not want to be a part of it in any way... however the persons wedding who it is, is a dear friend and ive known him for so long that hes my brother... so now what does one do??? go along with it anyway, what do i know about his feelings and their relationship? or stand my ground and decline my position as bestman however still go??? (background on bride and groom to be, is theyve been together for 2yrs live in cali, however all their friends and family are here in nyc, wedding is in nyc, however they will continue to reside in cali... the wedding is basically all for the girl, all her friends, and a majority of her family... on his side only 4 friends are invited +guests... on her side a majority of her friends +guests, costumes are all her choices, location the same and blah... thats about it...)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had the same issue two years ago. And all of our friends agreed that this guy should not be getting married to this girl. Hell, we didn't think that he should've ever dated her.

I took it this way...We told him that we didn't approve of the wedding. Told him that he could do much better, and that maybe he should hold off for a while and see how things go. But he insisted in getting married. So with that, since he is my friend, I will support him. I did support him. I went to the wedding, did my part and saw it through. They have been married for two years and moved to Hawaii. I have talked to a few of my friends in Hawaii who knows them, and they said they are on the edge of divorce. I talk to him still quite often but don't bring up the "bitch". I wish the best for them.

Love is crazy. Just because you don't like what your friend is doing is no reason to boycott the wedding. You like your friend but don't agree with what he is doing. I suggest you let him know. But let him know that you will support him in any descision he makes. I think it would take a better friend to support in a bad descision, than to just drop him and say "I told you so" a few months - years down the road.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by dgmodel

i would never drop him.. just not be the bestman... however i think that i am going to have to go along with this debacle and go down with the ship...

you should def. support him. I know you don't approve of his fiance, but you're really not there for her. As it is his side of the isle is looking sparce, so why take away from that? Sometimes in situations like these you just have to go along for the ride. You could be right but...right now he's thinking otherwise and you have to respect that.

Just be there when the empire collapses.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If he is like a "brother" to you then you have to support him in his wishes of having you as a Best Man. He's your really close friend then not being his Best Man is sorta an insult if you don't except IMO. I say fuck it, bite your lip and wish him best luck in the future.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i think you would be doing more of a favor for your friend if you were to tell him how you feel and if he is a true good friend he will listen to what you're saying. often at times, it is easier for a person who is outside of a situation to see things more clearly. if you don't feel good about them getting married, then maybe you should tell him so, and possibly avoid a potential divorce down the road. divorce has gotten to be such an easy thing to do anyways that it seems like no one gives a damn anymore about talking about certain issues with their lovers before they settle down, like money, future plans, children, living arrangements, careers, etc. you have to make sure that someone you're going to be with will support you and understand how you want to go with your life as well as your life together...

i would tell him how you feel. marriage is a beautiful thing and if it is taken lightly, what's the point of falling in love...i know some people feel that you don't have to get married if you're in love...but i kind of like the whole soulmate idea myself...

good luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by dgmodel

if you were to be the best man at a wedding, which you do not approve of, would you do it??? i have a situation here... im to be the best man of a wedding (june'03) and i do not want to be a part of it in any way... however the persons wedding who it is, is a dear friend and ive known him for so long that hes my brother... so now what does one do??? go along with it anyway, what do i know about his feelings and their relationship? or stand my ground and decline my position as bestman however still go??? (background on bride and groom to be, is theyve been together for 2yrs live in cali, however all their friends and family are here in nyc, wedding is in nyc, however they will continue to reside in cali... the wedding is basically all for the girl, all her friends, and a majority of her family... on his side only 4 friends are invited +guests... on her side a majority of her friends +guests, costumes are all her choices, location the same and blah... thats about it...)

Is he happy? Why do you disagree with the marriage? How often do you speak or see him since he lives in cali?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by marcid21

you should def. support him. I know you don't approve of his fiance, but you're really not there for her. As it is his side of the isle is looking sparce, so why take away from that? Sometimes in situations like these you just have to go along for the ride. You could be right but...right now he's thinking otherwise and you have to respect that.

Just be there when the empire collapses.

There is no empire, you should support your mate as best as possible. Just remember, would you like it if he didn't support you? Just focus on him and don't make yourself like her. Even the worst of people eventually are found out to have some good qualities. If he's old enough to know better, than let him decide his fate.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...