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Liquor Warning Labels

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor

manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following

warning

labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

______

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the

hell

happened to your bra and panties..

_____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are

whispering

when you are not.

_____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like

a

retard.

_____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your

friends

over

and over again that you love them.

_____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can

sing.

_____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that

ex-lovers

are dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

_____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can

logically

converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of

inexplicable

rug burns on the forehead, knees, and lower back.

_____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you

are

tougher, smarter, faster, and better looking than most people..

_____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are

laughing WITH you.

_____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

_____

WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you kan tipe

reel

goood.

(that last one reminded me of that stripper from Gloucester :laugh: )

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