unclefester401 Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S LIFE Day 180 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! Day 181 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! Day 182 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 1:30 pm - OOOOOOOH. BATH. BUMMER! 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY DAY 183 My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. DAY 184 Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair ... must try this on their bed. DAY 185 Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was ... Hmmm. Not working according to plan. DAY 186 I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. DAY 187 There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. DAY 188 I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaydup Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 Not gonna read that. Sorry fester.But does anyone know where I can get a miniture horse? A real one, I want it as my pet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizlissa Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 Look no further.It even comes with it's own clown. Can't do better than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlr8ted Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 Originally posted by mizlissa Look no further.It even comes with it's own clown. Can't do better than that. Thats the horse thats going to win the triple crown next year..!!You should see the size of the Jockey.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaydup Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 Nah that aint a miniture horse I don't think. That is some sort of pony thingy.I mean a miniture horse, now get to work people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stymie Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 right here bro.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlr8ted Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 Originally posted by kaydup Nah that aint a miniture horse I don't think. That is some sort of pony thingy.I mean a miniture horse, now get to work people Ya that was horseshit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizlissa Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 Hey I google image searched for "miniature horse" and it spit that out.Google is God. Recognize, foo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaydup Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 There ya go StymieThis guy aint too bad Kind of pricey, but then again how many people do u see walking a mini horse in Boston! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizlissa Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 Could this be you, kaydup? Just imagine... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stymie Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 is this some kind of an angle to get pussy? puppys work too kaydup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaydup Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 Nah I am a little to big to be riding my mini horse. We are just gonna chill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaydup Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 Originally posted by stymie is this some kind of an angle to get pussy? puppys work too kaydup. Puppies are sooooooo 93.Me and my horsie chillin on the common, doesnt get any better than that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizlissa Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 You could even join the American Miniature Horse Association and participate in exciting events such as this:I think this is cruelty to animals: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaydup Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 These horses seem kind of big.Maybe I will just stick to getting this guy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stymie Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 no way dude, these are better.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaydup Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 Yes love them X's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizlissa Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 Nah homie. It's all about these guys:Look, he even knows how to give props!Sloths RULE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaydup Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 A sloth! Come on now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizlissa Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 You just don't know.Those who know, know.You know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlr8ted Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 Sloth love Kaydup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizlissa Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 Is that the plural of sloth?I guess you can't say sloths. Try saying it. Sloths. Gross. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlr8ted Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 Originally posted by mizlissa Is that the plural of sloth?I guess you can't say sloths. Try saying it. Sloths. Gross. I was re-citing a line from Goonies.. Sloth love chunk.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ras67 Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 The Monkey Wins... Hands Down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nyis4meatheads Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 For my money, you can't beat a good albino aardvark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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