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i could have used a translater wednesday night

Guest jroo

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Guest jroo

so, i was in yuma, az for work for a few days. One of the guys i work with is pretty cool so after work we were hanging out, drinking at applebees with everyone else. i finally talk him into going to a strip club.at applebees, along wtih dinner, i had two long islands, a huge beer, and two shots of patron silver, because he didnt want his. we get to the strip bar, get a few beers, its pretty lame. our waitress was from manhattan, we had her pegged as being from jersey. she was the typical italian, tough chick. every other word, is fucking and stuff. so the three of us guidos were talking and stuff, guess you had to be drunk and be there, but anyway, we ask what there is to do here, she said go to mexico. and found out some places for us in San Luis. so we left yuma at like 1:30 am to go down there. i tell you what, thank God i took spanish in high school from the 5th grade till high school. my buddy didnt speak a lick of spanish. we walk across the boarder and there is an old guy just standing there, i figured out he was a cab driver right away, my buddy was like what does he want? we get into the cab and im trying to tell the driver "bebe, tome" and im making drinking motions with my hand. then i finally say cervesas and he starts driving. we pull up to this one club get out, go inside and order 2 dos x's 5 bucks for two not bad, i had him a 20, and he gives back american change. inside everyone is wearing cowboy hats, they had some sort of horn band playing, about 10 guys on stage wearing black jeans and black t-shirts. my friend and I just stand there like some gringos. my buddy bought the next round and handed the non-english speaking bartender a 20, and this time the guy brought mexican money as change, we both new that we got ripped off right there, but just took it anyway. he gave us a 100 peso bill and a 500 peso bill. i belive thats a total of 6 dollars, oh well. so the club closed we were standing outside. found like 3 people that speak english and were talking to them. they said that we came down on the wrong night. it was wednesday, and we should have been there on thrusday. a girl was trying to talk to my friend, it was the funniest thing ever, because he was like uhhh, uhh, helpppp!! i need a translator!!!! i walked up to him and looked at his hand, he had a number writen on it, and i was like ot oh, you got a number, then realized it was his own number, and i said, "what the fuck are you doing?" he said "i dont know, i thought she wanted me to write my number down on me." it was pretty funny, the only english word that girl knew was "what". her friends were like "what" and we were like "que" back and forth. then this other guy came up and was talking to my buddy after the girls left and was "you messed up dawg, they wanted you, they see white guy and they think money." then he offered for us to go smoke with him and his friends. we declined and got in a cab. this cab driver didnt speak english either, i was trying to tell him 1st st. or calle uno, or primero calle, calle primero. he had no idea what i was talking about. he kept saying deiz y ocho, 18, for some damn reason. i was like, ok, i understand 18, comprendo diez y ocho, what the fuck. thank God again, that a spanish guy got in the car with us and asked us where we want to go, then he told the driver what gate to go to. so we walk through customs, obvisiously drunk, i 3 gaurds are bullshitting and i get totally through the turnstile before they ask us or citizenship. and my drunk ass says "american!" and my buddy says "U.S. citizenship" and he was like ok, and that was it. no search, no pat downs, nothing. no id checks. so next time i go i'll do some shopping por el gato. i just didnt have enough time this trip. funny thing is that i work with this old white woman, that went into mexico and she went through in a bad part of town, and she came back through customs they grilled her, this was during the day of course, and they were like, why did you go there, are you selling drugs, the cops dont even go there, what is the matter with you, you're selling drugs arent you. then they didnt even search her or anything. anyway, there is my recap on mexico. it was tough, not being able to speak the language. it was deffinately cool to see how it was. i wish i had more time there. next time im calling one of you spanish fuckers to translate. :D:D

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Originally posted by vicman


damn u gringos. :D

yuma is zaguero country i believe.

i'll have to teach you all the real important words and phrases you gringo's need when you cross the border.

What like... Yo quiero Taco Bell???

Donde estas las chicas blancas??

Dos cervecas por favor??


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