jammy Posted October 24 Report Share Posted October 24 This is a specially formulated diet designed to help people cope withthe stress that builds up during the day. BREAKFAST: 1 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 1 cup skim milk LUNCH: Small portion lean, steamed chicken 1 cup of spinach 1 cup herbal tea 1 Hershey Kiss AFTERNOON TEA: The rest of the Kisses in the bag 1 tub of Hagen Daas Ice Cream with chocolate chip topping DINNER: 4 bottles of wine (red or white) 2 loaves garlic bread 1 family size Supreme Pizza 3 Snickers Bars LATE NIGHT SNACK: Whole frozen Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer) DIET RULES: 1. If no one sees you eat something, it has no calories. 2. When drinking a Diet Coke with a chocolate bar, the diet coke cancels out the sugar in the chocolate bar. 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do. 4. Food used for medical purposes does not count (for example, hot chocolate, toast, cheesecake and vodka). 5. If you fatten up the people around you, you will look thinner. 6. Movie theater foods have a zero calorie count as they are part of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake. This includes popcorn, Snow Caps and ice-cream. 7. Cookie pieces have no calories because breaking the cookies up causes calorie leakage. 8. Foods licked from spoons and forks have no fat if you are in the process of cooking something. 9. Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity andthe density of the calorie mass. 10. Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it rightfully belongs to the other person and will cling to his or her plate. And remember, STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS.---------------------------------------------I didn't make this up, my friend forwarded it to me. ~*Jam*~------------------...I can't see you, you can't see me!... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artful Posted October 24 Report Share Posted October 24 you gonna be a big fatty if you stick with that diet.... a big fatty with no teeth.------------------ <I'm a Fire-starter><Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!!> <I got the glow, baby!!Can ya feel it?!? Now back up and give me some dancin' room!!>--- When the Artful speaks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted October 24 Report Share Posted October 24 All I need is a gun hon....realllllll simple! ------------------ "It's normal to be different!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copleyc Posted October 24 Report Share Posted October 24 hahaahhahahha - that's excellent!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firegirl Posted October 24 Report Share Posted October 24 how did you know i eat like that? i swear. start out a saint, end up a sinner.FG------------------nurturing the embers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel1997 Posted October 24 Report Share Posted October 24 Lmao !!Good one Jammy!!...it all started with ONE hershey kiss... lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickijay Posted October 24 Report Share Posted October 24 I love that diet and i'm going to start it tomorrow, yes i am!!------------------ Boink like a bunny!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkFloyd40 Posted October 24 Report Share Posted October 24 how'd you change your name????i asked you in like three postscome on, tell me, plllllleeeeeeeasssssee!!-------------------BRING BACK FRANK ALVEE-"And thus they give the time, that Nature meantFor peaceful sleep and meditative snores,To ceaseless din and mindless merrimentAnd waste of shoes and floors." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jammy Posted October 24 Author Report Share Posted October 24 my bad Rob. I just PMed Dave and gave him the details...~*Jam*~------------------...I can't see you, you can't see me!... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkFloyd40 Posted October 24 Report Share Posted October 24 thanks hun -------------------BRING BACK FRANK ALVEE-"And thus they give the time, that Nature meantFor peaceful sleep and meditative snores,To ceaseless din and mindless merrimentAnd waste of shoes and floors." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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