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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN AND A WOMAN...


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How To Shower Like a Woman:

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see you husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to

the bathroom.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.

4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.

7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.

9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake bodywash.

10.Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off).

11.Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.

12.Scream loudly when your husband flushed the toilet and you lose the water pressure.

13.Turn off shower.

14.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

15.Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African Country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

16.Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with nails./tweezers if found.

17.Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

18.If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.

How To Shower Like A Man:

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo" sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in

the mirror, scratch your "privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).

6. Wash your face.

7. Wash your armpits.

8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.

10.Wash your butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.

11.Shampoo your hair with hand soap(do not use conditioner).

12.Make a shampoo Mohawk.

13.Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.

14.Pee (in the shower).

15.Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the

whole time.

16.Partially dry off.

17.Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size again.

18.Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

19.Leave bathroom fan and light on.

20.Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah baby"

and thrust your pelvis at her.

21.Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.

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Neo: You ever have that feeling where you're not sure if you're awake or still dreaming?

Choi: All the time. It's called mescaline, it's the only way to fly.

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-Ricfutures

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Originally posted by ricfutures:

How To Shower Like A Man:

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo" sound.

20.Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah baby"

and thrust your pelvis at her.

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sup, kids-

WE FELLAS FUCKIN RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU WANT SOME OF THIS, DONTCHA, DOOONNNNNTTTCCCHHHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PEACE,

NotForKids

Wesident Weiner Waver - Wooooo!!!

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You know what I was, you see what I am: change me, change me!

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2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo" sound.

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!im laughing so hard here at work my coworkers are getting worried!! LMAO

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A man makes his sunshine, and he makes his rain. Look at what you have, and where you are, before you say, "I've had a horrible day" Appreciate what you have, and realize how much others wish they could have that much. Live Life, and LOVE IT! --Me

I don't give a fuck if its dark or not! I'm harder than ME tryin' to park a dodge....when I'm drunk as FUCK, right next to a humongus truck, in a 2 car garage!

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How To Shower Like A Man:

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo" sound.

15.Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the

whole time.

18.Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

20.Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah baby"

and thrust your pelvis at her.

This IS my boyfriend.

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A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it's old dimensions.

~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~

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Originally posted by cathyo:

How To Shower Like A Man:

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo" sound.

15.Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the

whole time.

18.Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

20.Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah baby"

and thrust your pelvis at her.

This IS my boyfriend.

you have one of those too huh??

LOL !!

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------------------------@

vampienyc10

vampie@aol.com

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"One is not born a woman, one becomes one."

- Simone de Beauvoir

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