Unacceptable Language

[emjay]

TO : STAFF

DATE : 7-19-04

SUBJECT : UNACCEPTABLE LANGUAGE

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a "TRY SAYING" list of new phrases has been provided, so that a proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

_____________________________________________________________________

Try saying: Perhaps I can work late.

Instead of: And when the f*ck do you expect me to do this?

Try saying: I'm certain that isn't feasible.

Instead of: No f*cking way.

Try saying: Really?

Instead of: You've got to be bull sh*tting me!

Try saying: Perhaps you should check with...

Instead of: Tell someone who gives a f*ck.

Try saying: I wasn't involved in the project.

Instead of: It's not my f*cking problem.

Try saying: That's interesting.

Instead of: What the f*ck?

Try saying: I'm not sure this can be implemented.

Instead of: This f*cking sh*t won't work.

Try saying: I'll try to schedule that.

Instead of: Why the f*ck didn't you tell me sooner?

Try saying: He's not familiar with the issues.

Instead of: He's got his f*cking head up his ass.

Try saying: Excuse me, sir?

Instead of: Listen f*ck-face.

Try saying: So you weren't happy with it?

Instead of: Kiss my f*ck'n ass.

Try saying: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.

Instead of: F*ck it, I'm on a salary.

Try saying: I don't think you understand.

Instead of: Shove it up your ass.

Try saying: I love a challenge.

Instead of: More f*cking sh*t to do.

Try saying: You want me to take care of that?

Instead of: Who the f*ck died and made you boss?

Try saying: I see.

Instead of: Blow me.

Try saying: I think you could use more training.

Instead of: You don't know what the f*ck you're doing.

Your co-operation will be greatly appreciated.

Thank You,

Management

[tstelkhuni]

That's great I just emailed to all my coworkers!

[torleywong]

Haha, no use for equivocation I see. This reminds me of that funny skit, The History of the F Word...

[blacklabelcoke]

[therunner]

I wanna be a puppy.

[raincry]

i don't think i've seen this one before.