sexxyme Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 >twas The Night Before Christmas, He Lived All Alone, >in A One Bedroom House Made Of Plaster And Stone. > >i Had Come Down The Chimney With Presents To Give, >and To See Just Who In This Home Did Live. > >i Looked All About, A Strange Sight I Did See, >no Tinsel, No Presents, Not Even A Tree. > >no Stocking By Mantle, Just Boots Filled With Sand, >on The Wall Hung Pictures Of Far Distant Lands. > >with Medals And Badges, Awards Of All Kinds, >a Sober Thought Came Through My Mind. > >for This House Was Different, It Was Dark And Dreary, >i Found The Home Of A Soldier, Once I Could See Clearly. > >the Soldier Lay Sleeping, Silent, Alone, >curled Up On The Floor In This One Bedroom Home. > >the Face Was So Gentle, The Room In Such Disorder, >not How I Pictured A United States Soldier. > >was This The Hero Of Whom I'd Just Read? >curled Up On A Poncho, The Floor For A Bed? > >i Realized The Families That I Saw This Night, >owed Their Lives To These Soldiers >who Were Willing To Fight. > >soon Round The World, The Children Would Play, >and Grownups Would Celebrate A Bright Christmas Day. > >they All Enjoyed Freedom Each Month Of The Year, >because Of The Soldiers, Like The One Lying Here. > >i Couldn't Help Wonder How Many Lay Alone, >on A Cold Christmas Eve In A Land Far From Home. > >the Very Thought Brought A Tear To My Eye, >i Dropped To My Knees And Started To Cry. > >the Soldier Awakened And I Heard A Rough Voice, >"santa Don't Cry, This Life Is My Choice; > >i Fight For Freedom, I Don't Ask For More, >my Life Is My God, My Country, My Corps." > >the Soldier Rolled Over And Drifted To Sleep, >i Couldn't Control It, I Continued To Weep. > >i Kept Watch For Hours, So Silent And Still >and We Both Shivered From The Cold Night's Chill. > >i Didn't Want To Leave On That Cold, Dark, Night, >this Guardian Of Honor So Willing To Fight. > >then The Soldier Rolled Over, With A Voice Soft And Pure, >whspered, "carry On Santa, It's Christmas Day, All Is Secure." > >one Look At My Watch, And I Knew He Was Right. >"merry Christmas My Friend, And To All A Good Night." fkornre 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misk Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 ...thanks a lot ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkornre Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 Twas the night before twistmasAnd all through the houseWe had guns and money aroundLayin' on the couchWas dressed with black jewelry this timeMmmmmm, c'mon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyme Posted November 29 Author Report Share Posted November 29 ...thanks a lot ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAZE Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 Twas the night before twistmasAnd all through the houseWe had guns and money aroundLayin' on the couchWas dressed with black jewelry this timeMmmmmm, c'monTwas the first night of Chanuka,And all Jewish blocksWere celebrating With Bagles and lox.Fkorne spins his dradelOh watch him spin,All while they anticipateFiddler on The Roof to begin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepspell Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 hell of a thread fkornre 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkornre Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 Twas the first night of Chanuka,And all Jewish blocksWere celebrating With Bagles and lox.Fkorne spins his dradelOh watch him spin,All while they anticipateFiddler on The Roof to begin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felix_Leiter Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 gmmcookny is gonna be all over this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
therunner Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 twas the night before christmas and I was drunk on the couchthe ol' lady was bitchin' so I punched her in the mouthThe kids started crying and I whipped out my beltThe wrath of ol' dad was what they felt.The cops at the front door and the gun in my handI pistol whipped the bitch; then sent her to neverlandThe kids were fucking screaming at the top of thier lungsI cold-cocked the youngest and filled the oldest with slugsThe cops came in shooting up the houseI grabbed the youngest and in gasoline I dousedI lit him up like the family treeHe burned all crispy; like a 2 piece with a B. Christmas was ruined by the naggin' wifeThat bitch fucked up everything, including my lifeNow the kids are all gone, and I'm off to jailBut I'll see you by New Years with a good lawyer and bail. fkornre 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyme Posted November 29 Author Report Share Posted November 29 You ruined my thread fuckers lol but it IS funny P.S. Jews rock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misk Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 P.S. Jews rock ..LMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyme Posted November 29 Author Report Share Posted November 29 ..LMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkornre Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAZE Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 You ruined my thread fuckers lol but it IS funny P.S. Jews rock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyme Posted November 29 Author Report Share Posted November 29 I can jack my own thread with a jewish quote..I'm jewish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkornre Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 I can jack my own thread with a jewish quote..I'm jewish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAZE Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 I can jack my own thread with a jewish quote..I'm jewish I know, I was saying that WE jacked YOUR thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
therunner Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 twas the night before christmas at the Epstien homefknorne was crying - he was all aloneHis friends are all christian and believe in santa clauseHe's just a jew boy, a religion with no causeThe menorah was burning with eight candles litHe held His gay ass jew dradle, by his little jew finger tipNo signs of baby jesus, no presents, no treeHe cried out in jew horror, "the fat man won't come see me!"He jumped to his feet and threw off his yarmulke And converted to Christian and said "Fuck Chanuka!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyme Posted November 29 Author Report Share Posted November 29 twas the night before christmas at the Epstien homefknorne was crying - he was all aloneHis friends are all christian and believe in santa clauseHe's just a jew boy, a religion with no causeThe menorah was burning with eight candles litHe held His gay ass jew dradle, by his little jew finger tipNo signs of baby jesus, no presents, no treeHe cried out in jew horror, "the fat man won't come see me!"He jumped to his feet and threw off his yarmulke And converted to Christian and said "Fuck Chanuka!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkornre Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 that was beautiful...brought a tear to my eye...but there is NO WAY i am converting... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
therunner Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 that was beautiful...brought a tear to my eye...but there is NO WAY i am converting...I don't blame you. I am trying to deprogram myself from my christian upbringing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkornre Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 I don't blame you. I am trying to deprogram myself from my christian upbringing.i already deprogrammed myself from my jewish upbringing...but i dont want to be a christian... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyme Posted November 30 Author Report Share Posted November 30 'Twas the night before Thanksgiving> and all through the kitchen;> I was cooking and baking> and moanin' and _itchin'.> I've been here for hours,> I can't stop to rest,> This place is a disaster,> just look at this mess!> Tomorrow I've got> thirty people to feed,> They expect all the trimmings,> who cares what I need!> My feet are both blistered,> I've got cramps in my legs,> The dog just knocked over> a bowl full of eggs,> There's a knock at the door> and the telephone's ringing;> Frosting drips on the counter> as the microwave's dinging,> Two pies in the oven,> dessert's almost done;> My cookbook is soiled> with butter and crumbs.> I've had all I can stand,> I can't take anymore;> Then in walks my husband,> spilling rum on the floor.> He heaves and he wobbles,> his balance unsteady;> Then grins as he chuckles> "The eggnog is ready!"> He looks all around and> with total regret,> Say's "What's takin' so long?> aren't you through in here yet?"> As quick as a flash> I reach for a knife;> He loses an earlobe;> I wanted his life!> He flees from the room> in terror and pain,> and screams "MY GOSH WOMAN,> YOU'RE GOING INSANE!"> Now what was I doing,> and what is that smell?> Oh, GOSH, it's the pies!> They're all black> right down to the shell!> I hate to admit> when I make a mistake,> But I put them on BROIL> instead of on BAKE.> What else can go wrong?> Is there still more ahead?> If this is good living,> I'd rather be dead.> Lord, don't get me wrong,> I love holidays;> They just leave me exhausted,> all shaky and dazed.> But I promise you one thing,> if I live 'til next year,> You won't find me> pulling my hair out in here.> I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter;> And if that doesn't work,> I'LL HAVE IT ALL CATERED! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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