Aaahhhh....KIDS!!!

[digitalphoenix]

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma

"where's mom & dad?"

and she replied:

"they're up in bed".

The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out & play.

Then he came back fo lunch asked his grandma"where's mom & dad?"

and she replied:

"they're still up in bed"

Again the little boy giggled and ate his lunch and went & played.

Then the little boy came in for dinner again he asked:

"where's mom & dad?"

his grandmother replied: "they're still in bed"

Again the little boy laughed,his grandmother interrupted him & asked:

"everytime I tell you that theyr'e still up in bed you start to laugh what is going

on here?"

The little boy replied: "well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the vaseline.....

....but I gave him super glue"

[philippio]

:rofl:

[b-side]

1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was

dead.

"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I

pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. You

did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know,"explained

the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes

later....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of

water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaad....."

"WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If

you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes

later......"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me,

can you bring a drink of water?"

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,

finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy

thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and

keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan,

come in or stay out!'"

4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was

tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he

asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother

smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have

to sleep in Daddy's room." A long

silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's

sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl

was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat

down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is

it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the

pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to

iron."

6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year

old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.

She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember

Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."

"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two

plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a

bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped,

"What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is

how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he

answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What

are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we

are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to

say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher

stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two,

THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken

Little to her class She came to the part of the story where Chicken

Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10

minutes.

9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr.

Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must

say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the

boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too

rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,

"If I canfind a smooth one, can I play with him?"

[SlickSlider]

LOL! Kids say the darndest things.

[digitalphoenix]

That Bill Cosby was a riot in his day!!!

Jell-o-Puddin'-eater-son-of-a- bitch!