shugabooga Posted November 27 Report Share Posted November 27 I'd rather stay home alone than go out with this person any more. Sat. nite she called a bouncer a fuckin' dick, then got into an arguement with my other friend, lied to both of us to guilt-trip us, left her visa card at the bar, cursed her best friend out on the phone, got lost from the rest of us at the club, and stayed out alone drinking until 5 a.m. She always drinks every body else's drinks and doesn't carry enough cash. I've seen her fall asleep/pass out in a club about three times and in the last few months she's lost her purse, cell phone, and passport. This past holiday weekend she drank heavily (until four or five a.m.) four nights in a row. She talks nonsense past a certain amount of alcohol in her system and you can't hold a conversation with her at all. When she's sober, she is the sweetest, sharpest, coolest person. She's very athletic and has a great job. I could just back off, or say something to her about it...has anybody ever dealt with something like this before? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics Posted November 27 Report Share Posted November 27 Shit sounds like me Sorry just joking, just couldn't resist.I take it you have talked to her about this?Actually Dirtyslapper is the best one to answer this.Hope it all turns out ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anthony Posted November 27 Report Share Posted November 27 Yes I have like 10 years ago and it was not cute at all.That's ONE DRAMA I can do without.That person wind up going to rahab,myself and friends stuck by that person and his family as well.You should have long talk with your friend and tell her how you feel about her excessive drinking and passing out in a club.------------------Anthony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quanto_magnus Posted November 27 Report Share Posted November 27 Ooooo! Sounds like a pretty serious problem there. If you really care about your friendship, then I would suggest talking to her *when she is sober*. Odds are likely she will deny the things you say, but you gotta try. Try to express it as how you feel when she gets the way she does. Like, "I feel really scared for your well being when you are that way", or "I feel really uncomfortable with how you act when you are intoxicated". If you guys are good enough friend, she will hopefully listen, although don't count on it if she really has a drinking problem. Try to be as calm as possible (not easy). She will likely get really defensive even if sober. Do you know if she has some other "issues" going on in her life that could be pushing her to do this? This can be a very touchy and difficult (for you) discussion to have. Depending on what level of friendship you guys have, you may just want to stop going out with her, or just do things where drinking is not involved.Most importantly you must let your friend know that you care for her and that you are doing this because of that fact.Good luck, it's a difficult road ahead of you. ------------------Hugha.k.a. ibhugh, Brian Adamsemail: ibhugh@yahoo.comaolim: hugesk8r Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copleyc Posted November 27 Report Share Posted November 27 can you give me her number?no, but seriously I'd say "Cheers"OK no, but really seriously, I have no idea. but then I don't drink too much, it's just a cultural thing. (on a really really serious note - AA?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msoprano Posted November 27 Report Share Posted November 27 maybe shes rreal upset about something and drinking is her way of dealing with it, just talk to her when shes sober without yelling and see what she says, some people just wanna be heard and vent a little to someone they trust------------------TWILO'S WACK !!!! Sorry guys it is "TO EACH HIS OWN" not sure by who but i like it"dont be affraid to walk out on anything in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat coming from around the corner" Robert DeniroAIM:msoprano13Email:msoprano13@yahoo.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmgreenz Posted November 27 Report Share Posted November 27 Part of the trick is trying to socialize with this person in places where they can't get loaded. If her friends always hang out in bars, it's not surprising that she gets wasted. Certain places encourage certain behaviors.Try doing something different when you guys go out. I don't really have any suggestions off the top of my head that don't sound corny. scrabble is fun. ;-) stay at home and post on Clubplanet!you're in a tough position. If she hasn't realized that she has an issue after all the mishaps that you describe, she's definately in pretty deep.hope it all works out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eggmok Posted November 27 Report Share Posted November 27 well i'd say stop . . .------------------Life is too short to be small. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pintu Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 I call my friend a Alcoholic!He drinks and then pukes almost every time we go out! Then when its last call for drinks he would be the first one running to the bar. He is refuseing that he has a problem but, I keep telling him. HE NEEDS HELP!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vt2be Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 i had the same problem with a friend of mine. to the point that we were at sound factory once, and she had drank so much that she fell asleep on the couch. when we tried waking her up, she didnt want to, so after half hour of giving her " 5 more minutes" and trying to drag her up i finally told her i was gonna through water on her face . anyway she still didnt get up, so finally i splashed a lil cold water on her face and she woke up then proceded to punch me on the arm. now she was a really nasty drunk, very testy, unreasonable etc... but till then she had never been violent. well i took her home, let her sleep it off. then a few days later, when i was less pissed and she was sober and sat down with her to talk. i told her what had happened ( she forgot some things when drunk) and i told her that from then on if she wanted to chill, cool BUT that if it was to chill/drink then forget it, to not even call me cause she'd be wasting her breath. i told her that i didnt find drinking in general wrong, but that once she started drinking she could never stop. that she probablly had a problem and she should take better care of herself. anyway, after that though she didnt stick to the no drinking, she did moderate her behavior enough so that at least when we were hanging she never got drunk again.i cant tell you to say the same to your friend, afterall not everyone is the same. but for me i know i couldnt keep chilling with a person whom i had to take care of everytime we went out, making going out a hassel as opposed to fun. or constantly put myself in a postition where a person would take a swing at me just for taking care of them.irene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boa_boy Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 Well in the last twelve months I've lost 4 cell phones, 2 wallets, a passport, clothes, a bag.......during big drinking nites......it's even contagious in that when people go out with me they start to lose things as well (including a certain Brit from DC).......I know I have issues with the self destructive parts of my psyche, most often evident in drinking, tho of late gambling has been pretty prominent, then there's the party all weekend type of thing which we all know and love......and when they all get mixed in together boy is that a messy weekend!the key is that I know I have issues and I guess there it is.....does your friend know that she has issues? ------------------ I'm dreaming of a white christmas------------------------> boa_boy@yahoo.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirdante Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 stop calling her. dont hang out with her. fuck it. being an enabler is worse than being cold. however, def make sure she knows why you wont hang with her.i am sick of everybody making excuses for their drug abusing friends. shes a bitch when shes drunk? dont blame the alcohol, blame the bitch. tell her you cant stand her when shes drinking. if she wants to hang, she better stay sober. tough love works. you know? at the very least it saves you from being tortured by her heinous behavior. at most it helps her out and saves her life.think about it: if it were you, would you rather continue to piss everybody off until they genuinely hated you or would you prefer your friends to be honest?get all of your mutual friends in on this. dont go it alone or it wont have any impact. you might see her behavior as a prob yet she might not notice anything wrong at all. help her ASAP.------------------i love music! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shugabooga Posted November 28 Author Report Share Posted November 28 thanks everybody for your input. it's helpful to get so many different perspectives. i haven't decided what to do, it will probably be a combination of suggestions from all of you, tailored to fit the severity of the situation and our friendship. she's a sharp person and i'm hoping that it won't take much to snap her into reality. thanks again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
safitamace319 Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 ok here's the deal, at least this is what they teach me when your trying to be all interventional.. the key is to talk to her while she's sober like everyone else said, if she's in denial, then chances are you're probably not gonna get anywhere with her, don't give up though. she needs to acknowledge the fact that she needs help otherwise all the advice in the world is not gonna accomplish anything, also, i'd call around to see about various rehab programs, etc. so that way if in the off chance she does accept responsibility or help, you'll have anumber for her to call, so that she has no excuse that she can't find a place, etc. and best of all, try not to be judgemental alcoholism is a disease like any other, and just stick by her. just my dolla's worth. ------------------"Well you think i'd leave ya lonely... you know me better than that... if you'd think i'd leave you down when your down on your knees... well i wouldnt do that.. you're so much better than you know..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divette Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 Hi Shannon!I got your message when I came back!Thanks for Checking up on me!We'll talk soon! Good luck with your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copleyc Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 Originally posted by boa_boy:Well in the last twelve months I've lost 4 cell phones, 2 wallets, a passport, clothes, a bag.......during big drinking nites......it's even contagious in that when people go out with me they start to lose things as well (including a certain Brit from DC).......oh yeah.... I've been losing things (mostly braincells and memory) for a long long time, it wasn't your influence - although I do seem to remember hearing "oh go on, you can't go home yet, another vodka redbull was it?"looking forward to losing more stuff at crimbo... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeydollaz Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 Originally posted by dirtyslapper:can you give me her number?no, but seriously I'd say "Cheers"you stole my answer ... really though even though u get mad and dont want to be around her try to keep an eye on her when she is out of control , specially at szeezy clubs where, some nasty guys could do something horible to her ... u said when she is sobber she is reallt sweet and smart whatever .. so talk to her when she is sobber , nicey thogh , not nasty.. cuz that will just start a fight .. tell her u are reall concerned about her and u love her and u think she needs to chill .. i dont think its a situation where she needs to goto AA , just sounds like shes a bad drunk .. unless she is drinking all teh time i wouldnt worry about an AA type problem ... i was bartender for the last 4 years or so and witnessed many drunken people .. som people are jusr asshole when they are drunk , they cant handle their booze and turn into annoying iddiots ... i've seen it a million times ... try and get her to relax maybe get her to smoke a lil and tehn she wont be able to drink as much ... if u are really realllly concerned that she has a serious prob i would talk with her parents .. but make sure u know what u are getting into ... it could really blow up in your face and turn into some kind of disaster ... good luck i hope everything works out ... maybe she just needs a man in her life =) ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeydollaz Posted November 28 Report Share Posted November 28 Originally posted by dirtyslapper:can you give me her number?no, but seriously I'd say "Cheers"you stole my answer ... really though even though u get mad and dont want to be around her try to keep an eye on her when she is out of control , specially at szeezy clubs where, some nasty guys could do something horible to her ... u said when she is sobber she is reallt sweet and smart whatever .. so talk to her when she is sobber , nicey thogh , not nasty.. cuz that will just start a fight .. tell her u are reall concerned about her and u love her and u think she needs to chill .. i dont think its a situation where she needs to goto AA , just sounds like shes a bad drunk .. unless she is drinking all teh time i wouldnt worry about an AA type problem ... i was bartender for the last 4 years or so and witnessed many drunken people .. som people are jusr asshole when they are drunk , they cant handle their booze and turn into annoying iddiots ... i've seen it a million times ... try and get her to relax maybe get her to smoke a lil and tehn she wont be able to drink as much ... if u are really realllly concerned that she has a serious prob i would talk with her parents .. but make sure u know what u are getting into ... it could really blow up in your face and turn into some kind of disaster ... good luck i hope everything works out ... maybe she just needs a man in her life =) ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bcre3306 Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 Hook me up. I'm all about drinking heavy. I don't see any problems with it!------------------Roxy Dec 1st 18+Live performance from Jana. Emailme for guestlist @BCreigh843@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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