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Speaking of Kelly being hot...Um the South Park episode "Die Hippie, Die" is the funniest shit I have EVER seen. Spread the word.

Cartman: Please, I have to talk to you all right now!

Mayor McDaniels: Kid, we're have a city council meeting.

Cartman: Mayor, something very big is happening, and if you all don't give me a moment of your time, there may be no more South Park to council over!

Randy: [secretary of Parks and Public Grounds] What are you talking about?

Cartman: I'm talking about the end of all life as we know it. [some surprise is seen among the council members] For the past several days I've been... noticing a steep rise in the number of hippies coming to town. [puts a laptop on the table and turns it on] At first I thought maybe it was just a coincidence. [pulls a projector towards the laptop] Then I saw this... [connects the projector to the laptop, and the projector turns on. Everyone then looks at the screen. Cartman goes to it and points a few things out] Three new drum circles have sprouted up here, here, and here. They're all growing in diameter, at a rate of two hippies per hour. What this means... is that the hippies are conglomerating. They'er thriving, if you will. I think that they're setting up for a... [close-up]. hippie music festival.

Linda: A what?

Cartman: Ti's, it's simple science. Look: When hippies start to nest in a new area, it draws other hippies in. With the right weather conditions and topography, it can lead to a music festival. One that last for days, even weeks. Reggae on the River, Woodstock, Burning Man, they will all pale in comparison to what we're looking at now. In my professional opinion... I think we're looking at a full-blown hippie jam festival the size of which we've never seen. [the adults don't get it, Cartman sighs heavily]

Mayor McDaniels: Kid, what the hell are you talking about?

Cartman: I know hippies. I've hated them all my life. I've kept this town free of hippies on my own since I was five and a half. But I can't contain them on my own anymore. We have to do something, fast!

Mr. Mackey: Uh, Eric, we're, we're talkin' about potholes right now, m'kay.

Cartman: It's not potholes you need to worry about. It's potheads. I know what these people are capable of.

Mayor McDaniels: Johnson, get him out of here. [Johnson rises and goes for Cartman]

Cartman: All right, everyone listen up! The hippie jam band festival is now fourteen miles in diameter and five hundred thousand hippies thick.

Randy: [closes his eyes] My God...

Cartman: In less than three days, all of South Park will be completely consumed. My only hope is to fight our way to the center of the crowd, and reach the heart, here. [points to the stage] If we can reach the stage, we can upload this Slayer CD into their music system. [shows off a CD-R of Slayer music] Hippies can't stand death metal. If everything works, they should disperse just before they consume us all.

Jimbo: Nice plan, kid, except there's one giant flaw. That hippie crowd is massive! How the hell are we supposed to get through it and reach the stage?

Cartman: We drill. [flips the page and a blueprint appears.] I've designed a vehicle that can bore its way through even the densest hippie crowd. They pilots inside will be safe from the pot smoke and the crappy music outside.

Steven: Yuh... actually suggesting that somebody drives right into the heart of that mob?? It's a suicide mission!

Cartman: Not just somebody. I need a complete team to operate this vehicle. Along with me I'm gonna need a scientest, an engineer, and of course, a black person who can sacrifice himself in case something goes wrong.

Randy: I'm the... only scientist in town.

Linda: I'm your engineer.

Steven: Honey, no!

Linda: I have to do it, Steven.

Cartman: All right, then we just need a black person who can sacrifice himself in case something goes wrong. [he looks around, panning by Chef once] Lessee, anyone would do, anyone who meets the qualifications, let's see... [his gaze passes Chef again] Oh, I know. How about- [his gaze falls upon Chef and stays there]

Chef: Yeah, yeah! I get it! Fine!

Steven: I I can't believe we're actually listening to this. This is a crazy plan!

Randy: You got a better ides, Steven?! Damnit, my son is in there!

Cartman: There's no more time for ideas! We have to have this vehicle up and operational in less than three days! Look, it's a long shot! But it's also the only shot we- [his face is distorted. Moments later he sneezes and his face is normal again.] got.

LMFFFFASSO

Oh yeah I was reading something about Saved by the Bell when I read your 'Jessie and the Rippers' comment and I just....nevermind

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