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I Had A Racoon In My Apartment!


HAZE

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Last night, me and Sugar were here playing cards and drinking and at like 2 AM we hear a noise on my porch. I open the sliding door to see what it is and as soon as I did that, this adolescent racoon ran right into my friggin' apartment. I grabbed my Kill Bill sword off the wall and run after him into my room but I couldn't find him. Finally, I see he was in the corner behind a stack of shoeboxes and shit playing dead. Now I don't know what to do. Should I kill the little bastard? I know I couldn't pick him up cuz he would have bit and scratched the shit out of me. I call the police and ask for the number for animal control, called it and I get no answer. I call the police back and they give me the person's cell phone number and it goes to voice mail. Call the police again and they say they're going to send an officer over. He comes over with a noose and wraps it around the little bastard's neck and takes him out.

Thanks to the West Paterson police department, I didn't have to go Beatrix Kiddo on the little fucker and make a mess in my apartment.

RacoonInvasion05.jpg

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