any one know a good corny joke?

[nycjuju]

gimme a good corny joke guys.

------------------

sex ,drugs & insanity isnt for every one.. but its always worked for me!

[lavkrap]

what goes vroooom.... screeeeech..... vroooom..... screeeeech..... vrroooom.... screeeech??

a blonde trying to drive through a flashing red light.

:::sorry to the blondes::: it's just a joke

------------------

things to see, people to do... hehe

[rose1722]

TOP 10 SIGNS THAT YOU KNOW IT'S TIME

TO JOIN E-MAILERS ANONYMOUS

10. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom, and

check your email on the way back to bed.

9. Your firstborn is named dotcom.

8. You turn off your modem and are suddenly filled

with a feeling of emptiness, as if you just pulled the

plug on a loved one.

7. You spend half of a plane trip with you laptop in

your lap...and your child in the overhead

compartment.

6. You decide to stay in college for an additional

year or two, just for the free Internet access.

5. You find yourself typing "com" after every

period.com

4. You refer to going to the bathroom as

downloading.

3. You move into a new home and decide to

Netscape before you landscape.

2. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

DRUM ROLL PLEASE

AND THE NO. 1 SIGN THAT YOU KNOW IT'S

TIME TO JOIN E-MAILERS ANONYMOUS:

1. Immediately after reading this list, you email it

to someone.

[nycjuju]

hahahahahahahahahaahahhahahahahahahaahaha...

after a long day at school tryin to register and get F R I D A Y S off so i can rest up for E X I T ..so chill with all u other crackheads.. you guys made my day......

hahahahhaahah thanks

juju

------------------

sex ,drugs & insanity isnt for every one.. but its always worked for me!

[gene2k]

What do you call 5000 Indians with no nipples running around in a circle ?

Indiannippless 5000

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In the underground integrity lies within, in the underground image doesn't mean a thing.

[rudeboyyouth]

What is black and has cobwebs?

An Ethiopian's Asshole

[glowball]

i know a good one , there 4 guys in a pool , a black guy , a white guy, indian guy, and a spanish guy , there chillen . A condem floated to the top of the water, the black guy said "Who Farted" ........ lol

------------------

Be the man and stay that way if your good

[DJMAGZ]

A guy walks into a Shrinks office wrapped in nothing but saran wrap............

The doctor takes on look at him and says"Obviously i can see your nuts right off the bat!"

:roleeyes:

------------------

"There's a litle black spot on the sun today"

Magz&A-luv1998

[shadowchaser]

A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this she can't stand it any longer! The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why. The supervisor is puzzled by this and says what's wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice.

The woman replies, "He's a midget."

------------------

You know we aren't meant to exist in the outside world... - Akira

shadowchaser076@aol.com

[mr.sick]

Hey Shadowchaser, I think I read that joke somewhere. Did you get that from a site that rhymes with "oh no"?

------------------

"Life is but a dream

within a dream"

[rose1722]

A typical frat boy is hanging out at his house's raging party when he notices a very attractive girl standing by herself. Being drunk enough to have nerve, he starts talking to her and pretty soon they're dancing. As the night progresses, they go back to his room and start getting it on immediately.

Afterwards, the frat boy says, "Gee, if I'd known you were a virgin, I would have gone slower."

"Honey," the girl replies, "If I thought you could control yourself a little longer, I would've taken off my panties.

Tomochan

[shadowchaser]

Originally posted by mr.sick:

Hey Shadowchaser, I think I read that joke somewhere. Did you get that from a site that rhymes with "oh no"?

Nope...sometimes i get these jokes from buddy and i got that one today...what's the website?

------------------

You know we aren't meant to exist in the outside world... - Akira

shadowchaser076@aol.com

[boa_boy]

> > >The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington

> > >chemistry mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor

>shared

> > >it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it

>as

> > >well.

> > >

> > >Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic

> > >(absorbs heat)?

> > >

> > >Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas

> > >cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some

> > >variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

> > >

> > >First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we

>need

> > >to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are

> > >leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell,

> > >it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

> > >

> > >As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the

> > >differentreligions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions

> > >state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to

>Hell.

> > >Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not

> > >belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to

>Hell.

> > >With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls

> > >in Hell to increase exponentially.

> > >

> > >Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's

> > >Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay

> > >the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives

> > >two possibilities:

> > >

> > >1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

> > >enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until

> > >all Hell breaks loose.

> > >2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of

> > >souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell

> > >freezes over.

> > >

> > >So, which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Theresa

> > >Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell

> > >before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still

>have

> > >not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be

>true,

> > >and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

> > >

> > >The student received the only "A" given.

> >

------------------

..................coming soon to a dancefloor near you------------------> boa_boy@yahoo.com

[shadowchaser]

Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty in Golf but Aren't:

10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.

9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk.

8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker!

7. Look at the size of his putter.

6. Keep your head down and spread your legs more.

5. Mind if I join your threesome?

4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.

3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.

2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.

And the number one thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't:

1. I need to wash my balls first.

------------------

You know we aren't meant to exist in the outside world... - Akira

shadowchaser076@aol.com

[Pershoot]

heres an all time corny joke, but wuz funny when i first heard it (when i was younger)

this kid was walking down the block, and these three kids approach him and say, give me all your money, or ill shoot you with this gun. He gives them all his money.

The next day, he is walking, and confronted by the same kids; they say, give me all your money, or ill cut you up with this knife. He gives them all his money.

The next day, he is walking, and confronted again by the same kids; they say, give me all your money, or I'll stab you with this AIDS needle. He goes, no, I won't give you my money, so go right ahead. They stab him with the needle, and he walks back over to his friends. They say to him, yo man why'd you do that, now you have AIDS. He goes, don't worry guys, I had a comdomn on.

cornaaaaay...hahaha

[lordgalactus]

Guy walks into a bar with a lady on each arm, and a fistful of cash. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender notices that he looks a little sad. Bartender says "What's wrong with you? You got beautiful women around you and a load of cash." The guy looks up and smiles, and says "I'll have 2 scotch on the Rocks, one for me,and one for my friend" He then opens up his coat, and pulls out a little man from his pocket and puts him on the bar. The little man takes a drink, then spits it all over the bartender! He's running up and down the bar, cursing at all the men and grabbing at all the women. The bartender looks at the guy for an explanation. The guy says.....

" I was on a beach, and I found a bottle. When I opened the bottle , a genie came out and granted me three wishes. I wished for beautiful women, a load of cash..........and a 12 inch prick...."

[mr.sick]

Originally posted by shadowchaser:

Nope...sometimes i get these jokes from buddy and i got that one today...what's the website?

It's uh-oh.com. They have a new joke everyday.

------------------

"Life is but a dream

within a dream"

[rose1722]

Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak.

Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out. Being a kind soul, Bob says, "Ah, OK, sure, I'll help you." The man asks, "Can you unzip my zipper?" Bob says, "OK." Then the man says, "Can you pull it out for me?" Bob replies,"Uh, yeah, OK."

Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mold and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars, and reeks something awful. Then the guy asks Bob to point it for him, and Bob points for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up.

The guy tells Bob, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it."Bob says, "No problem, but what the hell's wrong with your penis?"

The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and says, "I don't know, but I ain't touching it."

I only sent this joke to my smart friends who I thought would get it. Therefore, you are the only ones that recieved it. (I'm just kidding, but you know what I mean)

Tomochan