Rob the Bouncer tonight at B&N Chelsea

[sheendawg]

Has anyone else heard of this book or read his hilarious Clublife blog? He will be at the Chelsea store reading and then signing tonight at 7 and I am soooo there.

Link to book - http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780061123887&itm=1

And the blog is standingonthebox.blogspot.com

[sashadude]

I have been reading his blog for the past 3 years or so. Good stuff. If you frequent clubs, you see all that shit he rights about left and right. But he gives you all those details we dont know about. Thats what makes it interesting for me.I dont have much time to read books, but I am thinking of buying this one. I am sure there is a lot of stuff he left off his blog, so he can publish it in his book.

[sheendawg]

I'm already more than halfway through and I just started it yesterday! It is SO good, he is a terrific writer. Well worth the admission price. I'll post some of my fave parts tomorrow, I've already emailed 9 of my friends about it!

I've been reading the blog for about a year and can't even remember how I heard about it - probably over the publishing wire when the deal was announced.

Here's one though, he's talking about the fight that broke out one night and he's being radioed to come assist:

An hour or so later: "Side bar! Side bar! Side bar! Side bar!"

Everyone was already outside by the time I fought my way up the VIP stairs and out to the side bar. One group had been taken out near side door, into the adjacent alleyway, and the other had been dragged out the front. I fell in line with a group of bouncers who were on their way to help with whatever was happening at the side door. Migs was in the alley, questioning the customer who had apparently thrown the first punch.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Bro, you see this?" the customer said, displaying a prominent wet stain on the side of his pant leg.

"So? You're wet. Why'd you throw a punch?"

"Yo, he pissed on me!"

"Huh?"

"That guy pissed on me! He unzipped his fuckin' pants and pissed on my leg. That's why I hit him. What the fuck would you do if someone pissed on you?"

"Did he do it on purpose?"

"How the fuck would I know? I'm standin' there talkin' to my girlfriend, and the next thing I know, my leg's wet, and he's standin' there pissin' on me. That motherfucker's lucky he ain't dead."

"Did anybody see this?" Migs asked, looking to verify the story with a bouncer before making a decision.

"Yo, nobody HAD to see it. I'm here with my girl, man. I ain't gonna fight with nobody. That motherfucker pissed on me. What would you do?"

Migs considered this. "You know what? I believe this fucking guy. You don't wanna come back in like that, do you?"

"Fuck no. I'm gonna go throw out these fuckin' pants and drive to fuckin' Staten Island in my underwear. Fuckin' two-hundred-dollar pair of jeans."

Migs took out his radio. "Ray, you still got the guy who got hit?"

"Yeah. He says he didn't do nothing."

"Do me a favor. Tell him we got him pissin on this guy's leg on camera."

After about thirty seconds, Ray came back on. "He said the line was too long, and he couldn't hold it anymore."

The thing I was having trouble understanding was the sense of entitlement these people seemed to have, as if it was perfectly acceptable to demand whatever the hell they wanted as loudly and as forcefully as they could. Shit, most of them didn't even go so far as to demand it. The philosophy was this: simply do whatever the fuck you want, whenever you want, and when someone has the audacity to call you on it, you throw a tantrum. You curse. You scream. You piss on people's legs. You turn everything into a goddamned federal case where even the smallest of slights elicits a visceral reaction requiring the intervention of twenty or more angry men with radios and flashlights and frustration to spare.

*dead*

Seen this MANY times, those motherfuckers move FAST...I saw a dude get SWOOPED by the neck about 20 feet and put out of VIP one night.

I missed the signing cause of a fucking meeting that ran behind, I wonder if I've seen this cat before - he started working at a club that opened three or four years ago - Crobar or Spirit? Hmm. The club in the book is a ficticious "Axis"...

[sashadude]

He always mentions Guidos in his blog. So its safe to say, chances are that

its eather Crobar or Spirit. I am almost sure I passed him on more than one occasion, since I used to frequent those clubs.

[deepsee]

Been reading the blog on and off for a while too and have always wondered who he is and what club he works at. With a thorough reading of the blog, I'm sure we could piece it together, but I agree, it's gotta be one of the big clubs, either Crobar/Mansion/Mezmor/whatever or I thought for a second, Marquee or Guest House, but usually the crowds are (a little) more well behaved there.

[sheendawg]

I'm gonna go with Spirit, which opened to huge fanfare as the old Twilo space, and I've been there many a time myself - especially for Danny's parties! He also mentions going down the street if you weren't let in (the B&T crowd wasn't allowed in at first). LOL

He reminds me so much of Johnathan, a devilishly handsome, muscled and curly-haired bouncer from Vinyl (I *love* him) who has made many of those observations himself, right down to the guido shuffle Rob details in two pages of the book. Johnathan once said, "They do a hop, a skip, and a jump!"

Gonna go check the blog now, see if he posted the pics from the signing yet!

[DeathToPoors]

hahah, Staten Island. Who would go to a club that lets in mongrel trash from SI?

[sheendawg]

I've never really understood the interboro hatin that goes on, if you wanna come out and have a good time, then you should do so, as long as you know how to act. And all of the people I've met or hang out with certainly do.

But the one thing that he talks about in the book is the cycle that a club goes through - first are the celebs and big spenders at the height of its popularity, then it deteriorates into the kind of place that HAS to accomodate the B&T crowds just to stay afloat and make money.

I personally go where my fave DJs are spinning, fuck all the other bullshit. Like Danny is at Shelter this week, that's where I will be. When he was at Spirit I was there, Crobar; I was at Crobar, Pacha; I was at Pacha. You have your crazy types in the crowd, but that's what makes it interesting and fun for a people watcher like me!

[sashadude]

I've never really understood the interboro hatin that goes on, if you wanna come out and have a good time, then you should do so, as long as you know how to act. And all of the people I've met or hang out with certainly do.

But the one thing that he talks about in the book is the cycle that a club goes through - first are the celebs and big spenders at the height of its popularity, then it deteriorates into the kind of place that HAS to accomodate the B&T crowds just to stay afloat and make money.

I personally go where my fave DJs are spinning, fuck all the other bullshit. Like Danny is at Shelter this week, that's where I will be. When he was at Spirit I was there, Crobar; I was at Crobar, Pacha; I was at Pacha. You have your crazy types in the crowd, but that's what makes it interesting and fun for a people watcher like me!

Well said... 100% agree

[DeathToPoors]

the cycle is true, but it's sad. Once the celebs/big spenders/real human beings abandon a place, they should just close their doors instead of sliding into B&T filled shithole that disgraces anything good that the place ever was. Why can't outer borough people stay in their shitty boroughs to party, no one wants to hang out with them, or even have to pass them on the street.

[sheendawg]

GEEEEEEZ!!!

I can't even really respond to that because I've been clubbing in this city for 7 years now and have yet to experience anyone pissing me off that badly to say such a thing.

I LOVE guidos (for lack of a better term - I would take offense to someone speaking fondly of "niggers" in that way). They are so much fun to watch, and even fondle from time to time. LOL The ones I've seen don't bother anyone aside from maybe getting too fucked up on that G. There's a YouTube clip on dude's blog, entry July 11th, from Neptune's that is exactly what I'm talkin about. They're just dancin and havin a good time, what's the problem?! I love everyone though, especially when I'm enjoying myself and so is everyone else. The people make the fucking party!!

I guess it's all about your attitude...but for me it's primarily about the music. It also depends on which party and which crowd, I can't say that I've been to a JP party lately, but I did notice a bit of a difference there (though I had no less fun).

I should also note that Rob says that 95% of bouncers hate house music so you could see where his exasperation comes into play. LOL

[sashadude]

the cycle is true, but it's sad. Once the celebs/big spenders/real human beings abandon a place, they should just close their doors instead of sliding into B&T filled shithole that disgraces anything good that the place ever was. Why can't outer borough people stay in their shitty boroughs to party, no one wants to hang out with them, or even have to pass them on the street.

I have been clubbing in the city for almost 10 years and have seen all types

of people, and to say that B&T crowd is a reason for downfall of all clubs is totally wrong. Bro, you are off, way off. How can you say that? I am B&T.

I live in NJ, have wife and a kid. I frequent city clubs, strictly come to have a good time, dance my ass off and not cause any trouble. Most of the time I dont even see whos around me, what they do or how silly they dance. I simply dont give a shit. I am there to hear good tunes and not to judge others.

Of course there is always that idiot or few whos fucked up out of their minds fall and stumble all over the place, but believe me most of the people there to have a good time. So, dont blame on B&T, Asians, Guidos etc.

We are all out for one reason, to have a good time.

[DeathToPoors]

haha. did you really just call me "bro" ? That right there exemplifies why I don't want to be around low class trash like you. I don't care if you don't cause trouble, you don't interact with me at all and you're there just to have fun. I don't enjoy being surrounded by low class, sweaty, greased up B&T trash. Your mere existence is an affront to my sensibilities and no real people want to be in a club anymore once the B&T hordes can get past the door. That is why B&T are the death of clubs, because once they arrive, all the real people pack up and leave.

[sashadude]

Should I call you Mr.DeathToPoor? And whats with all that anger?

How would you know that I am low class, sweaty,greased up B&T trash?

Have we met? I dont think so. So why dont you keep your opinion to yourself

and stop infesting this board with your negative comments.

[DeathToPoors]

Should I call you Mr.DeathToPoor? And whats with all that anger?

How would you know that I am low class, sweaty,greased up B&T trash?

Have we met? I dont think so. So why dont you keep your opinion to yourself

and stop infesting this board with your negative comments.

Calling people "bro" is a dead give away for guido trash. Also, you pretty much admitted you were B&T garbage in your previous post.

[sheendawg]

LOL Sashadude, we are basically saying the same thing, I agree with YOU 100%!

And this cat is either a troll, on joke time, or Rob the Bouncer himself (or maybe 2 out of the 3 LOL). I'll have to post another excerpt from the book that is almost exactly what he just said.

[DeathToPoors]

LOL Sashadude, we are basically saying the same thing, I agree with YOU 100%!

And this cat is either a troll, on joke time, or Rob the Bouncer himself (or maybe 2 out of the 3 LOL). I'll have to post another excerpt from the book that is almost exactly what he just said.

Bouncers are the scum of the earth, so you can cross off that possibility. They are almost universally ugly and overweight losers who are on power trips. You pretend to like them and say hi so they give you preferential treatment, but no one likes bouncers. Also, as per that excerpt, the author is a really bad writer, not surprising considering his education likely ended with high school (probably a public high school at that).