starbrite Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 ~WOMEN'S ENGLISH~ "Yes" = No "No" = Yes "Maybe" = No It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now "Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later. "We need to talk" = I need to bitch "Sure....... ... go ahead" = I don't want you to. "I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron! "How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're not going to really like me for. "Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful. "You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me. "Are you listening to me?" = [Too late, you're dead.] * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ~MEN'S ENGLISH~ "I'm hungry" = I'm hungry. "I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy. "I'm tired" = I'm tired. "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you? "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you? "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you ? "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage! "You look tense, let me give you a massage" = I want to fondle you "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question. "I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex? "I love you" = Let's have sex now. "I love you too" = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now! "Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me. "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmikedr Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 LMAOThat one just never gets old.------------------aim: djmikedrDJmikeDR@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djustinh Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 nice post.. i got something similar to that in an email recently, ill try to get it back and ill post it up ------------------"a mind stretched by new dimensions can never be the same again" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
menionleah Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 ROFLthats a classicbery goo filosophiPhilosophiesAlways take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or lateryou'll inhale a bee.If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek...nothinggets the message across like a good mooning.If genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, I must besharing elevators with a lot of bright people.It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal theneighbors newspaper, that's the tme to do it.It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer stillto ignore someone completely.Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked up into jet engines.I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can'tbe blamed on someone else.If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.My father always said laughter is the best medicine, which I guessis why several of us ended up dying of tuberculosis.It takes a big man to cry...but it takes a bigger man to laughat that man.When I'm feeling down I like to whistle...it makes my neighbor'sdog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.------------------Our civilization is still in a middle stage, no longer wholly guided by instinct, not yet wholly guided by reason... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel1997 Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 Joke for Wednesday, January 10th POLITICALLY CORRECT GUIDE TO GUYS - Submitted by Frank Borsellino ____________________________________________He does not have a beer gut;he develops a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.He is not quiet;he is a Conversational Minimalist.He does not get lost all the time;he discovers Alternative Destinations.You do not buy him a drink;you initiate an Alcohol-For-Conversation Exchange.He does not fart and belch;he is Gastronomically Expressive.He is not a redneck;he is a Genetically-Related American.He is not a cradle robber;he prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.He does not have a rich daddy;he is a Recipient Of Parental Asset Infusion.He does not hog the blankets;he is Thermally Unappreciative.He is not a male chauvinist pig;he has Swine Empathy.He is not afraid of commitment;he is Monogamously Challenged------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfiorellino Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 Great postings!!!LMAO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
galantv85 Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 hahahaha funny ------------------Ravers don't fall...they trip and roll! hehe;)Kandygirl guestlist for Exit for reduced admission pm me:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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