amorettony Posted January 21 Report Share Posted January 21 AQUARIUS (Jan. 20- Feb. 18): You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you're stupid. Everyone thinks you are a big jerk. PISCES (Feb. 19- Mar. 20): You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally an imbecile. ARIES (Mar. 21- Apr. 19): You are the pioneer type and think most people are assholes. You are quick-tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are a real prick. TAURUS (Apr. 20- May 20): You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddam communist. GEMINI (May 21- June 20): You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you're bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest. CANCER (June 21- July 22): You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth anything. Everybody in prison is a Cancer. LEO (July 23- Aug. 22): You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you're an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving bastards and spend most of their time kissing mirrors. VIRGO (Aug. 23- Sep. 22): You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep during sex. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps. LIBRA (Sep. 23- Oct. 22): You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male, you are probably 4'10" and neurotic. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most female Libras are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease. SCORPIO (Oct. 23- Nov. 21): The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22- Dec. 21): You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent whatsoever. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarian. You are not worth the time of day. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22- Jan. 19): You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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