THE PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT**

[misskittie]

Originally posted by rachel1997:

This was posted before...

But it's still funny!

Yea by me! heheh

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- "If I coulD ReACh up And hOLd a STar fOr eVEry TimE You'vE MAdE ME smiLe, tHE enTire evENinG sKy woUld bE in The pALm of My hAnd" - uNKoWN

- "It's better to be baked, not fried!" - GrOOvE

- Myrlin's ho!

[amorettony]

THE PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT**

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the

'Agreement') is entered into on the _____ day of ________, 2000, by

_________

, between___________and ______________.

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over-unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

3. No calls before 9 PM-we don't have shit to talk about.

4. None of that 'lovemaking' shit-only mind-blowing sex allowed.

5. No emotional discussions -- Ex.: Where are we heading with this? Do you love me? The answer is no, so don't ask.

6. No plans made in advance -- that is why you are called the 'backup,'

unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.

7. All gifts excepted -- money is always good.

8. No baby talk -- however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers -- it's really none of your damn business.

10. No calling each other 'friends with privileges' -- we are not friends, just sex buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK -- don't be offended.

12. No extra clothing -- I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.

13. No falling asleep right after sex -- it's over, so get your ass up and go home.

14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it-I don't care.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: 'My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend.'

17. Doggie style preferred -- just hit it hard and right or get the hell out!

18. Reason for doggie style -- the less eye contact the better. I don't want to look at you, just screw you.

19. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME -- so don't keep calling.

20. The most important one -- no condoms, no screwing. Carry your ass home.

21. Bring your own drink -- I am not your liquor store.

22. No phone use, please-don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.

*** EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS***

The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the

agreement.

If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this

Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be

removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email

list. BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the

rules.

Participating Party Signature___________________

Date: ________________

Participating Party Signature___________________

Date: ________________

[rachel1997]

This was posted before...

But it's still funny!

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[glowgirl]

Actually I posted it a LONG time ago!!!!

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Hi! How ya doing? where ya been, I had thoughts of you all night long.

Can't describe what you did, but you got me so!

Aolimer: Glowgirl42000

Email: Sugar4@earthlink.net

[glowgirl]

http://bbs.clubplanet.com/ubb/Forum26/HTML/003121.html

See here it is!

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Hi! How ya doing? where ya been, I had thoughts of you all night long.

Can't describe what you did, but you got me so!

Aolimer: Glowgirl42000

Email: Sugar4@earthlink.net

[stacychase]

i printed this one out, it is hysterical. make copies and have your booty call sign before walking thru the door.

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Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.