mozgi Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Kittie – he is fucking with your head honey... And I think he is getting to ya!It is the easiest thing - to go back to your ex just because you had some happy times together and know each other very good.Well, it is either your happiness or being polite and considered. Tell the boy to get a clue and stop taking advantage of the situation. Breaking up is hard to do. Believe me - there is always something better out there just waiting, lurking in the future. What ever happened usually (there are some shit that doesn't qualify) happened for the better.Good luck sweet. You have my blessing. ------------------mozgi_*_**_**_Dance f*ck dance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
g-money Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 It seems to me that you are just a victim of your kindness. Yes, its hard to just turn into an asshole/bitch when at one point there were strong feelings between the two of you. Maybe you can talk to one of his friends and see what they think. (He does have other friends does he?) Also, maybe you can have one of your friends talk to him, just to get a feeling of what's on his mind. Then of course, you can just talk to him yourself and ask him what he thinks is gonna happen. Most people would agree that after a break up, you need to distance yourself. You went so far as to admit that you wish you had space. There is a reason why its called a "break-up." You don't spend time hanging around each other after a break up and you seem to understand this, but he doesn't. Good luck with this. It sounds like a difficult situation. <<<PEACE>>>------------------"Get busy living or get busy dying." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bre5379 Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 My ex won't leave me alone. He keeps calling and calling. It has been 4 months too. It is horrible. I don't know what to do. He is just a jerk. Sometimes I get nervous that he is watching me. It's not a good feeling at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carabug420 Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 We could always get together, MissKittie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmikedr Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Originally posted by misskittie: Well I have no choice other than to hang out with him b/c we share ALLLL -you don't think he knows that.He lives in my house Now I allowed him to stay I havent the heart to throw him out. but I worry about him. - He knows that too.I want him as a friend b/c I value the friendship he brings and the fun we have. But Im sick of him trying to cross the line and fuck with my head. -your asking for the cake and eating too.-He's not THAT stupid, its all about control. He's using your feelings against you.You need to make a clean break, and let your friends know how you feel, so peeps dont get divided.(my $ .03).02 plus .o1 for going threw it already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boa_boy Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Those femme fatales with which I've had meaningful relationships with I get along with famously Those that ended quickly range from liking me a great deal to disliking to the same extent........And then there are those who are @ FWF status, and thats all good ------------------..................coming soon to a dancefloor near you------------------> boa_boy@yahoo.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glowgirl Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 tell him to leave you the hell alone and not to call you anymore or you may have to get really mean on him even though you really don't want to! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keorim Posted August 31 Report Share Posted August 31 It seems you are just too sweet, to your own detriment. I think the only healthy recourse would be for you to ask him to move out. You don't have to kick him out in a huff. Talk w/ him in a matter-of-fact manner (if possible) and explain to him honestly that the current situation is draining you and is ultimately causing the relationship to worsen. If he cares about you and your friendship, he'd have to understand. I know you're letting him stay w/ you for his sake, but in the long run, you'll grow so bitter that there won't be friendship to salvage. Give him a timeline of when he'd have to get out and be firm about it. That's best - for both of you. Keep sane and good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted August 31 Author Report Share Posted August 31 Wow! You guys are really good. Its also refreshing knowing many of you have been in the same type of situation.We did in fact have a talk last night but as usual I really made little to no progress. It seems as though he is in denial about the whole thing. And, he knows guilt trips eat at me so he's dishing them out like theres no tomorrow and it hurts.Thank you everyone though for your advice. Hopefully this whole thing will be resolved soon.As for you Carabug.....dont tempt me. I might take ya up on that one ------------------~*~* You.....You gotta gift! ~*~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandie Posted August 31 Report Share Posted August 31 I am on good terms with all of my ex's except one . . .You've just gotta tell them flat out that there is no "we" anymore . . . one of my friends is trying to deal with this problem right now - her ex refuses to accept that they aren't together anymore, and still shows up at places she goes, at her friends houses, etc. luv,brandie------------------"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."brandie@optonline.net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momadance Posted August 31 Report Share Posted August 31 whatever you do, dont take them back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted August 31 Author Report Share Posted August 31 Well the saying is true.... Ex's are ex's for a reason!------------------~*~* You.....You gotta gift! ~*~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTC1001 Posted August 31 Report Share Posted August 31 Hey listen if you 2 cant get along i am gonna turn this car right around and go home....------------------Check out http://www.nitefaces.com/mad_productions.htm for club info. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted August 31 Author Report Share Posted August 31 Uhhh well if we get along, then I cant come out to play with you!Hmph!!!------------------~*~* You.....You gotta gift! ~*~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathym11758 Posted August 31 Report Share Posted August 31 Miss Kittie - you need to get him out. I see you are a very caring person, but he is taking advantage of you. He follows you when you are on the phone? You can't go out without him? He may be a friend, but you should look at it as if you are renting him space. He doesn't need to know everything you do and you're entitled to go horizontal in your own bedroom if you choose. Do you have another guy friend he can stay with? What did he do that noone else will let him stay? Does he have a job that he can rent on his own? You should help him look for a place. You haven't given him any timeframes for moving out so of course he will stay. DOes he at least pay you? You know like you I pick up helpless animals and feed them etc., but I always get them to a doctor or shelter, if I didn't I'd have a house full by now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted August 31 Author Report Share Posted August 31 Originally posted by cathym11758:Miss Kittie - you need to get him out. I see you are a very caring person, but he is taking advantage of you. He follows you when you are on the phone? You can't go out without him? He may be a friend, but you should look at it as if you are renting him space. He doesn't need to know everything you do and you're entitled to go horizontal in your own bedroom if you choose. Do you have another guy friend he can stay with? What did he do that noone else will let him stay? Does he have a job that he can rent on his own? You should help him look for a place. You haven't given him any timeframes for moving out so of course he will stay. DOes he at least pay you? You know like you I pick up helpless animals and feed them etc., but I always get them to a doctor or shelter, if I didn't I'd have a house full by now.Ok Im going to just answer this all in the order of questioning. He does in fact follow me all around my house when Im on the phone and theres even times he just walks in the bathroom while I showering. I cant even go into my bathroom and be left alone peacefully. He has noone else he can stay with. None of his friends parents will let him move in becasue he cant pay rent....yep, he doesnt even pay my family rent. He doesnt have a good enough job. He has noooo money in savings, nothing. All he has to him is a few clothes and some shoes. The good thing is hejust got a second job...I told him last night he has 3 weeks and thats it. I myself cannot take him living in my house.As to what he did to get thrown out of his own house.....he decided to talk to me again. His mother hates me for something that happened a while ago...even though it really didnt she just a lying cunt...so she told him, Talk to her and you are out of my life. What a great mother huh?!?! So everything gets thrown on MY shoulders. I never told him to pick me over her. I never said we would get back but he decided to to take the consequesnces. Now its just a matter of pride for him...He wont go back home b/c then it shows hes just running back again. Great so I deal with him then. Well he will have to be out in 3 weeks. I already set that and Im not backing down.Thanks everyone for listening and giving your advice. ------------------~*~* You.....You gotta gift! ~*~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistressbella Posted September 1 Report Share Posted September 1 I would just like to say relationships take so much out of you it drained the shit out of me im trying to split with my man cause I deserve better;( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petp Posted September 1 Report Share Posted September 1 speaking from experience.....went out with my ex for 2 1/2 years. broke up and didnt speak to her for 4 months. then one day she called me and we chatted about bullshit. now shes my best friend in the whole world. we talk about everything...from the guys that always hit on her to clubs to anything. so the best thing is to not have any contact with them for a few months and get on with your life. its hard at first...but hey, thats whats so great about clubs!!!! and mistressbella.....if u want to break up with him, then just do it!!!! i get so sick of people saying IM GONNA break up with him/her. youre just procrastinating. so if you dont feel youre being treated right and youve tried talking with him/her and they still dont change, then f#ck em!!! their loss, not yours. like the old cliche says...theres plenty of fish in the sea!!!and sure its hard at first, but in the end its the best thing...and if u need someone to talk to, message me...im full of advice...im the resident relationship expert with all my friends!!! :-) now im single and lovin it. and if i meet someone then thats all fine and dandy, but if not, im having a blast just hangin with my friends and having fun.p. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchris Posted September 1 Report Share Posted September 1 Kittie - I hear what you're saying about how bad it's getting with him. You have a good heart to help him out. I mean it's right if he's good people and he's trying and he should be thankful for your help. If he's a loser that doesn't want to do anything for himself then he definetly needs to go. There is no reason not to have a good job cause there is plenty out there. Good luck and if he is a good person pat yourself on the back for helping him out.------------------It's all in the music Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyo Posted September 1 Report Share Posted September 1 Miss Kittie,As soon as you said he got kicked out because of you I knew that you have to get this guy out of there. Thinking you're responsible for that might be what is keeping you from telling him to leave and meaning it. Please tell me you know that his Mother kicking him out has absolutely nothing to do with you. Whatever the situation was, there is no reason to kick your child out over someone else. She must have issues of her own and is pinning the blame on you to justify her actions to herself. You have nothing to do with her and her son's relationship. Do not feel guilty. Once you have convinced yourself that you are not to blame, move onto the next issue. Your fear of something happening to him if you kick him out. The only thing I can guarantee is that keeping him there is going to make it worse. He's a big boy and will find some way to make it. You give him notice, a couple of weeks. That's time enough to find a place to stay. If he doesn't find anything within that period then he has to go anyway. Remind him that you're serious so he doesn't slack. If he doesn't find a place...he still goes and you are not a bad person for doing it because you did give him notice and you did try to tell him that you were serious about it. No guilt. It's really the best and only thing you can do for him and yourself. By keeping him around you're giving him hope whether you intend to or not. It may be hard but you have to do it asap. You have to take care of yourself!!------------------A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it's old dimensions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.