melichacha Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 So, I was having this discussion with my buddy Veronica (aka Mojo Jojo... lol) last night... For most of my life, I find that all my best friends have been guys. The one chickie who I felt a really close connection with ended up totally turning on be out of the blue, and I found that to just re-enforce my theory that girls are just too damn catty and judgemental for me. I do have to say however, that lately my faith has been renewed in female-kind by friends like Angie (Dalfinus) and Veronica (majesticmelodi)... I guess my question is whether anyone else has had that happen - where almost all his/her friends are of the opposite gender. Veronica totally knew where I was coming from, and I was curious a to whether anyone else was feelin' that...Thanks in advance for quenching my curiosity! hehe.. - meli - P.S. I have WAY too much energy for someone who just got in at 8 this morning and now has to go to work... yeesh... ------------------ "MeliChaCha -- Saving the world before bedtime... wait... I'm supposed to SLEEP?!""I've said it before and I'll say it again: Life moves pretty fast -- if you don't stop and look around every once in a while, you might miss it." - The incomparable Ferris Bueller... and to all my people, "Peace -- and Humpty-ness forever!" AIM: MeliChaChaE-MAIL: MeliChaCha@powerpuff.com <--- new addy! OR MeliChaCha@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxlea Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 uugghh AOL SUX!I posted a long response to your questions but it didn't go through!So to reiterate (sp?), yes similar thing happened to me.Most of my closest friends happend to be males. If I ask for advice I know that I'll get an honest response, regardless how harsh that truth might be.The only close female friend I had turned on me also. Seems she was more interested in competing with me than being my friend. Flirting w/ my boyfriend behind back, etc.We had a 7 yr friendship that I now see as a fraud. I still talk to her but I keep my distance. Like the saying goes...Keep your friends close and your ENEMIES CLOSER.Hopefully this time this will go through!!!------------------People come into your life for reasons not yet known, keep your mind, heart and soul open.AIM: Xxlea77 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LikmyLipz Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 All my best friends happen to be men now.. ALl through hs and even after, i was always stabbed in the back by women.. My last fem best friend happend to turn on me, and go for my ex male best friend.. and she went behind my back, got very jealous and started alot of rumors about me to his mother so she woudlnt allow him to talk to me anymore... oh well.. Right now i can honestly say theres one girl that i really really really consider a good friend.. and shes the girl friend of my best friend (guy) lol so go figure..XOXOXO MWWWWWAH * * ------------------~LiPz~ aim:LikmyLipzicq:101504929"if g-d hates freaks so much, then why did he create them? Freaks are like gormet dishes in SoHo restaurants. Cucuembers with lemon mousse on salmon baked with chocolate. It dosen't make sence. Its inedible. But some chef keeps comming up with more and more bizarre combinations. And theres always people to eat them." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 OMG that is so true.. All my life I've had more guy friends than girl friends. Same reasons, girls see each other as competition and that is SO not what I want in a friend. Also, my biggest problem with female friends was that their #1 priority is always their MAN.. Nothing wrong with that, I'm not saying treat your man like shit. I've seen it happen TOO many times.. Girls are close friends, as soon as one of them gets a bf, you can forget about the friendship. Wierd right?My ex had a theory that I absolutely laughed at 5 years ago. He said that girls only need their friends until they get a bf. SO TRUE. You NEVER see guys do that! Guys are friends, they get a gf, they are still friends! They break up with their gf, it in no way affects their friendships! IMO, that's the way it's supposed to be.Yeah, you hit a sore spot here girlfriend. This shit happened with 2 of my best friends and even my own sister. I don't konw what it is, but when they have a bf, it's like nothing else exists in this world! I mean, I want them to be happy, but that doesn't mean that they should totally lose track of everything around them.. It's sad but seems to be reality.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying_high Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 LOL....kind of really strange, you're right girls. Well, I have to say that I do have two to three girlfriends that I would consider REAL friends but when I was younger I only hang out with guys and even nowadays I've got more male friends than female ones. Don't know what it is but I think I'm just not so much into those girly things (clothes, appearance etc.) With guys it is more honest. They tell you the truth no matter how harsh it might be...and I do appreciate that. I'm also more like a guy when it comes to fighting...it's hard to the point but I want hold it against you for the next couple of years (what's done is done...no hard feelings). Girls are more back-talking and I just hate this so much and just can't deal with it.------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 Isn't it funny how all of us said the same thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melichacha Posted January 6 Author Report Share Posted January 6 It's soooo awesome to find people who relate! That's one of the big reasons I get along with the 2 chickies I hang with now -- we don't judge each other -- we just have a great time and are totally accepting. And it's soo true that most girl peace on you the secong they get a bf -- that's what started the back stabbing from that old ex-best friend from high school. I have also found though, that once we realize the problem, it's no longer a problem. For example, we would probably all get along just for the fact that we all understand the problem with those back stabbing chickies. I dunno - I don't find a need to compete with other girls... I mean, I am who I am and you can like me or not -- I'm not going to beg for friendship, and what's the point of trying to be something I'm not? At that point, you're obviously not looking to be MY friend, but the friend of the image I portray. Whatever... just gotta keep chillin' with the guys and find some chill girlies... and it's all good. - Meli - ------------------ "MeliChaCha -- Saving the world before bedtime... wait... I'm supposed to SLEEP?!""I've said it before and I'll say it again: Life moves pretty fast -- if you don't stop and look around every once in a while, you might miss it." - The incomparable Ferris Bueller... and to all my people, "Peace -- and Humpty-ness forever!" AIM: MeliChaChaE-MAIL: MeliChaCha@powerpuff.com <--- new addy! OR MeliChaCha@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying_high Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 That's true and maybe it's just very normal. Maybe there are just very girly girly girls (to whom I wouldn't really count me in) who like to have girlfriends around them in order to compete or there are the ones that are happy with who they are and hence, 'truer'...which makes it easier to connect with anyone??!!!?------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tranceaction Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 hey..Its interesting you girls should be talking about this subject.. and at least admitting some of the things us guys have suspected.My friends and I had this discussion a while back about how a girl can *never* be your best friend.Here's the situation.. Its 5AM and you just came back (or are going to) a club and your car has broken down with a flat. You need someone to drive 50 miles and bring you a spare, and help you change it.Who do you call?Or in an emergency you need a ride to the Airport.Or you need someone to help you move?Or you need someone to bail you out of jail?I think its important to feel emotionally connected to your close friends.. but its also important to not have any competition.. to have unwavering and unconditional support.. and sometimes its necessary to have someone who thinks more logically and rationally.Of the guys you consider your "best friend" .. do you think the guys consider you the same in return? Or do they have another guy they consider their "best friend" ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxlea Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 The episode with my so called best friend happened not too long ago. I had an idea of what she was about but I guess it didn't hit me 'till now. Mutual male friends would come up to me and ask me why did I hang out with her. "Did you know that she was asking us who we thought was prettier" "Hey, Alex, this girl wanted to know who we thought had a nicer ass." The funny thing is that it was never the same guy that would tell me this, it was all of them!After all of this happened I just pushed her way. No sense in making a scene, she knows way too much about me to have her as an enemy.I love my male buddies, they're so open and honest. Also gives you a good insight on how they operate!!! LOL. Only one of my buddy I fell in love with, which is my honey now = )!!! Also a reason why I post so much, I want to meet new people, POSITIVE people to hang out and have a good time. Good topic Meli, hopefully we all can get together and party!!alex------------------People come into your life for reasons not yet known, keep your mind, heart and soul open.AIM: Xxlea77 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 tranceaction..Wooooow woooo slow down... You pick your best friends based on whether or not they can help you change tires and move furniture????? Hmmmm.. Maybe I misunderstood something coz this doesn't sound sane.The 2nd point is very true.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickijay Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 i understand what you're saying about girls but every guy friend i've ever had has wanted to sleep with me so ultimately the friendship became strained and then fizzled. one of my best friends in high school was a guy. we were best of buddies for two years, talked every night on the phone, hung out all the time....then one day he decides to let me know it's time we slept together........ugh. yeah, it'd be nice to have a guy friend who didn't want that, yes it would.....but now i think i have myself one and i love him very much. you know who you are if you're reading this - i love you!!!------------------ Boink like a snow bunny!!!uknj@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying_high Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 I would say the person I consider my best friend considers me his best friend too. It's a very special friendship and we've gone through hard times...so he knows that he can count on me anytime.I also got a male friend who is a real womanizer (LOL...just thinking of him and his acts) and never believed in true friendship between woman and man. Well, he once said to me that he never believed that such thing is possible but he has to admit now that he was wrong....... ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glowgirl Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 Mostly all my life I have gotten alone with guys so much better than girls.....Guys are honest, upfront and don't play around....Some girls that were friends were backstabbing bitchesNow, Out of the girls I have been able to weed out the bitches...and I have found life long girlfriends that I can trust!!!!! ------------------Hi! How ya doing? where ya been, I had thoughts of you all night long. Can't describe what you did, but you got me so!Aolimer: Glowgirl42000Email: Sugar4@earthlink.net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahb53 Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 All my life I have had more guys friends. It is hard to find a TRUE good girl friend. I have a few, but guys are REAL. Girls can be so self-centered. I had a great girl friend for years until she slept with a guy I was totally into. "Great Friend" Right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying_high Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 Originally posted by sarahb53:All my life I have had more guys friends. It is hard to find a TRUE good girl friend. I have a few, but guys are REAL. Girls can be so self-centered. I had a great girl friend for years until she slept with a guy I was totally into. "Great Friend" Right?Sorry to hear that (same goes out to everyone else who ever had one of THOSE "good girlfriends")...I think I can honestly say that I've been lucky enough never to come along someone like this. But maybe it's rather like Glowgirls said: I've been able to weed out any bitches and now only got true (if only a few) lifelong girlfriends that I can trust.------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melichacha Posted January 6 Author Report Share Posted January 6 I'd rather have a couple of real chickies than a whole clique plastic girls. Period. And YAY for having so many down-to-earth chickies on the board! We should form a "no bitches" support group... lol - Meli - ------------------ "MeliChaCha -- Saving the world before bedtime... wait... I'm supposed to SLEEP?!""I've said it before and I'll say it again: Life moves pretty fast -- if you don't stop and look around every once in a while, you might miss it." - The incomparable Ferris Bueller... and to all my people, "Peace -- and Humpty-ness forever!" AIM: MeliChaChaE-MAIL: MeliChaCha@powerpuff.com <--- new addy! OR MeliChaCha@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trippintrance64 Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 I feel that it is totally different for guys. Like for me....i have mad male friends...and its awesome...very chill....then i have female fiends that i have.....and they are just as awesome, cause i can talk to them bout anything....get a girls insight on what girls want....and talking to meli (chacha)....i've really learned alot about what girls really want, and i think that thats made me a better guy....as far as girls and girls....most of the time its shady btwn them....its like a big competition with them....-----------------------"A man makes his sunshine, and he makes his rain. Look at what you have, and where you are, before you say, "I've had a horrible day" Appreciate what you have, and realize how much others wish they could have that much. Live Life, and LOVE IT!" --Me-----"Live for Twilo Fridays, The rest are just details" -Me-----"I can walk in straight lines, within my own crooked world" -a drunken Aramis Ponte Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erotic26 Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 I gave up on girls as friends a long time ago. They have ALWAYS ALWAYS ben catty, jealous, judgemental, and phoney. I have only two good Girlfriends now that I consider ok. The rest are all guys. ( My boyfriends friends) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 Originally posted by melichacha:I'd rather have a couple of real chickies than a whole clique plastic girls. Period. And YAY for having so many down-to-earth chickies on the board! We should form a "no bitches" support group... lol - Meli - It does seem like a lot of girls on this board are very cool.. I haven't met any of the girls who responded to this post but you all seem very intelligent and nice. Hopefully I'll get to meet some of you soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfixation Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 ok i have a few questions for the womanFirst, have u ever decided that a guy u were kinda attracted to would be to much to loose as a friend?And secondly if so did u tell him?I have a bunch of female friends mostly all at which i got to that weird point of should we go out or stay "just friends". And also just another point why is it so hard for woman to be friends if they can be friends with guys and not pull the same stunts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gambitx73 Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 Originally posted by sarahb53:All my life I have had more guys friends. It is hard to find a TRUE good girl friend. I have a few, but guys are REAL. Girls can be so self-centered. I had a great girl friend for years until she slept with a guy I was totally into. "Great Friend" Right?sorry to hear that sarahb53 and to all that has been tresspassed..but i'll say this..if u have been tresspassed, have faith in faith. Meaning love you that person you once considered friend...and yes maybe they did stab you in the back, but imagine this. Imagine forgiving them and letting them know that you were hurt. And then if you let yourself be vulnerable to their evil way and they betray you again you can say..."i'm sorry but you betrayed me again and explain yourself thoroughly and let them know you forgive them and still consider them your friend. I know this sounds crazy and it is extreme in a way. but i truly believe that kindess and unwaving faithfulness to "friendship" regardless if it's a person not worthy of your friendship. But true healing must start with you and no one else. have faith that even though your best friend betrayed you that you can overcome it with kindness and forgiveness. It may be necessarry to give up on the friendship in a way that you keep your distance but it shows true friendship on your part to forgive and try your best to be understood as well as understand. I mean afterreading sarahb53 remark my best friend slept with someone i was really into..well OK you guys weren't goin' out..woah hold on i can already sense what your thinkin' but hear me out for a moment. imagine she were you and you were her. imagine that she came up to u and said i hope the best for the both of u even though "i met him first" or "u know how much i like him, i can't believe u slept with him"..imagine that...and as far as woman being friends of woman/man on my personal experience. I'll say this. I have a lot more friends that are female. and yes though sex may be a major factor that could either make best friends into best lovers or best friends into "oh my god i thought you were a real friend and now you want to sleep with me?" My personal sexperience is this. I have alot more close friends that are girls than guys. Shit my two best friends i hardly talk to cos well we just don't have much in common anymore. And as far as girls being competitive guys are competitive with guys as well nothing there is bias. I have a friend that would literally kill me if i hit on any of his x but i personally wouldn't care if he hit on my x. Point is this..Iagree with the board. but keep in mind that there are great dynamics involved when generalizing. Keep an open heart open arms and most importantly keep an open mind.Shout out to Jammy from this board cos I think she's mad cool and veronica also from this board. I must admit all the ladies from the board have been mad cool...Shout out to my female friends that are not on this board..Amanda, Laura, Kate and Yana all in good and remember to kill 'em with kindness... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
partygal Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 My best friend in the world is myself...I have one female friend since childhood who is practically my sister, but even though we are tight I always try to be 2 steps ahead of her... People sometimes no matter how long you know them are not as they seem... So beware... As for the fellas I have love for you guys who are friends with females, it's always nice to mantain a platonic relationship... It shows that you are human and that you think about other things besides fuckin with us females...------------------I seek nothing but information. Who has the information? Where can I obtain the information? ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying_high Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 Originally posted by evilfixation:ok i have a few questions for the womanFirst, have u ever decided that a guy u were kinda attracted to would be to much to loose as a friend?And secondly if so did u tell him?I have a bunch of female friends mostly all at which i got to that weird point of should we go out or stay "just friends". And also just another point why is it so hard for woman to be friends if they can be friends with guys and not pull the same stunts?Ok, I just answer your first question, ok?! Yes, my best friend is someone I've been attracted to at some point. Chances for us getting and staying together weren't that good (wrong timing) so we both kind of talked about it and decided to stay "just" friends as our friendship was too valuable to be lost for a quick romance. We still are friends and I'm now attending his wedding in a couple of weeks... and I'm really looking forward to this as I think his wife-to-be is a real honey and they are definitily made for eachother. Does this answer your question?!?------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilfixation Posted January 7 Report Share Posted January 7 the funny thing is i know to many females who like being fucked with. They want the mind games and the bullshit. They enjoy the whole lets turn this badboy leashed repectable in public and uninhibated behind closed doors. Yet they fail to see that maybe the guys already are Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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