Imagine you have children(some dont have to imagine) and you find out......

[orchid21]

that they use drugs...how are you going to react to that? I am still battling this question.

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"follow your personal legend"

[cathyo]

From one who doesn't have to imagine (I have 2 boys) I would be terrified! Yes, it sounds hypocritical but I hope my kids don't get involved w/ them at all. Before I had kids, like most people, I thought I would be all cool about things like that. I'm sure many of you feel that way now but believe me, once you actually have children, most of you will change your minds.

I've said before that you need to be a hypocrite to a point when they are younger. Someone asked once if my 12 yr old asked if I did drugs what would I say. Honestly, I would deny...for now at least. When they get older (mid to late 20's) and have already made their decision about such issues, then, I might divulge the truth. They will then be old enough to realize why I didn't tell them in the first place. No one WANTS their kids to do drugs, and when they are at a young impressionable age you can't say, "Well, I did drugs, but I don't want you to." It sends a mixed message.

I am honest with my older son about most things, we've even had the "sex" talk already since kids are getting involved at an earlier age every day. As far as my drug usage though, it's not something he needs to know about now.

If I found out he was using drugs when he was say 17 or so, and I told him that I did also, he would think "Well, you turned out fine". But as we all know, not EVERYONE turns out fine.

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A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it's old dimensions.

~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~

[jdogg]

Being a parent too, I think that I would have trouble with the knowledge that my daughter was using drugs. I think that the experience is not bad, it is the repeated and habitual usage that gets to be the problem.

I think that I have a long way to go before my girl is the age where she would have those opportunities.

if she came home with pupils the size of pie-plates every weekend, I would have an issue. If she came home once with it and I did not see it again, i would chalk it up to experience.

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JDogg

AIM: JDoggNY2000

"Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur."

[divalicious]

One tick in the Not-Having-Kids-Going-To-Stay-One-Myself column...

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Peace Love Happiness y'all

DivaliciousNYC@aol.com

[Unbound]

blah blah blah

>|<ona BoHyaet

we're aliveeeeeee

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Keep On Rollin' Unbound getting UNWOUND

TëMA

AIM: ZUinc2000

[tstelkhuni]

i would definitely hope that i would take a different approach then my parents did with me. they ignored the obvious problem i had with drugs, because they had no idea of how to deal with it. now being clean and seeing how hard the battle was - when i become a mom i wouldn't want my kids to go through what i went through. i understand experimenting, but i would have a problem if they abused drugs. i also hope to be more open with my kids and if they have a drug problem - i wanna be supportive and not ignore it. kicking a drug habit is not something thati would want my kid or any one for that matter to go through alone.

just my two cents.....

[This message has been edited by tstelkhuni (edited 02-05-2001).]

[cathyo]

Originally posted by tstelkhuni:

i would definitely hope that i would take a different approach then my parents did with me. they ignored the obvious problem i had with drugs, because they had no idea of how to deal with it. now being clean and seeing how hard the battle was - when i become a mom i wouldn't want my kids to go through what i went through. i understand experimenting, but i would have a problem if they abused drugs. i also hope to be more open with my kids and if they have a drug problem - i wanna be supportive and not ignore it. kicking a drug habit is not something thati would want my kid or any one for that matter to go through alone.

just my two cents.....

[This message has been edited by tstelkhuni (edited 02-05-2001).]

Good point, the worst thing parent can do is ignore an obvious problem. No offense to your parents is meant by that, times were different even when we were growing up. One advantage that we will have, that many of our parents didn't have, is the knowledge of what the symptoms of drug abuse are.

It's unfortunate that you had to go through all that alone but I'm very happy for you that you were able to come through your problem. I've had many friends who have been in similar situations and I know what a battle it can be...be very proud of yourself!

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A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it's old dimensions.

~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~

[This message has been edited by cathyo (edited 02-05-2001).]

[This message has been edited by cathyo (edited 02-05-2001).]

[saigray]

Orchid, I think I mentioned this at the dinner meet, but my parents were excellent about it, and I would prob. follow their example. I told my mom I had tried pot when I was 13. She told me that I was not allowed to smoke on school days or till I finished my work on the weekends, and that she'd rather I did it at ppls homes (ours inc.) than get caught sneaking around parks. She also told me about how she wished she smoked less when she was in h.s. and how many things she missed out on/forgot from that time in her life. Since then we have been very open about such stuff. Because of her honesty, I felt compelled to be responsible so that I could be honest back i.e I wouldn't do something that I couldn't tell my mom about. I never went to school stoned, never had to lie, and knew that she would always know if I was lying cause she's way smarter than me. I am one of the most responsible partiers I know, and I thank my mom for that.

[orchid21]

Originally posted by saigray:

Orchid, I think I mentioned this at the dinner meet, but my parents were excellent about it, and I would prob. follow their example. I told my mom I had tried pot when I was 13. She told me that I was not allowed to smoke on school days or till I finished my work on the weekends, and that she'd rather I did it at ppls homes (ours inc.) than get caught sneaking around parks. She also told me about how she wished she smoked less when she was in h.s. and how many things she missed out on/forgot from that time in her life. Since then we have been very open about such stuff. Because of her honesty, I felt compelled to be responsible so that I could be honest back i.e I wouldn't do something that I couldn't tell my mom about. I never went to school stoned, never had to lie, and knew that she would always know if I was lying cause she's way smarter than me. I am one of the most responsible partiers I know, and I thank my mom for that.

Can i tell you how great you turned out!!!! thank you saisha's parents !

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"follow your personal legend"

[a691vcc]

IF I FOUND MY KID SMOKIN BUTTZ, I'D MAKE THEM SMOKE THE WHOLE PACK IN FRONT OF ME. IF IT WUZ A JAR OF K, I'D MAKE THEM STIFF WHOLE THING 2. NAAAA ACTUALLY THEY'D HAVE 2 GIVE ME A COUPLE OF BUMPZ. SERIOUSLY THOUGH I'D PUT FEAR INTO THEM. I'D SHOW THEM A COUPLE BASSHEADZ AND BE LIKE, IZ THAT HOW U WANT TO END UP.

[Unbound]

do as i say - dont do as i do!

yeah yeah yeah - if you're a crackhead (like me) - you deserve to be one - not your parents fault (i would phrase it - not your parents accomplishment)

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Keep On Rollin' Unbound getting UNWOUND

TëMA

AIM: ZUinc2000

[saigray]

Originally posted by orchid21:

Can i tell you how great you turned out!!!! thank you saisha's parents !

That's so sweet.. *blush*.. thanks..

But really, as long as you're in touch with your kids you know when something is in control and when something is actually a problem..then you can put the fear of turning into a crackhead like Unbound into them. (J/K, he's the most well dressed crackhead I've ever met, btw)

[deanna11]

when i think of how much my parents care for me, and how they must have felt when they knew i was doing things to hurt or endanger myself, i want to cry. i'm so sorry about having done these things. many of those things, i don't do anymore and never will. but there are some things i still do, almost out of nature. i don't remember these thoughts i am writing now when i do them

parents want the best for their kids, and to protect them from all bad things. i know my parents are like this and i will be too. but when i think of how much i have hurt my parents, sometimes i think that i shouldn't have kids just because i will not be able to take the heartbreak they will give me, if they follow in my footsteps. it's inevitable that one's children will break their hearts, and i suppose it will be my comeuppance

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"real fucking high"

[a691vcc]

Originally posted by saigray:

That's so sweet.. *blush*.. thanks..

But really, as long as you're in touch with your kids you know when something is in control and when something is actually a problem..then you can put the fear of turning into a crackhead like Unbound into them. (J/K, he's the most well dressed crackhead I've ever met, btw)

I HAVE 2 DISAGREE ABOUT "U'LL KNOW WHEN THEY HAVE A REAL PROBLEM, THEN I'LL WILL DEAL WITH IT APPROACH". IN MY MIND THE 2ND THEY START 2 FUKIN AROUND WITH THIS SHIT I'M A LAY IT DOWN 2 THEM ABOUT THE POSSIBLE PATHZ THAT CAN BE TAKEN FROM THIS POINT ON. THATZ HOW U REALLY STAY IN TOUCH WITH THEM. I WOULD RATHER JUST NOT WAIT FOR A DISASTER. BEIN STRAIGHT UP IZN'T GOING 2 AFFECT THE RELATIONSHIP WITH UR KID IN A ADVERSE WAY.

[billybong]

hopefully by the time mine is old enough to do drugs we have a good communication goin. Ill probably tell her all about the shit i did, and how much of my life was wasted on the shit. IS IT REALLY WORTH DOIN ALL THE SHIT I DO!!!!! Im not quite sure anymore..

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Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up to!!!!

[Unbound]

Originally posted by saigray:

That's so sweet.. *blush*.. thanks..

But really, as long as you're in touch with your kids you know when something is in control and when something is actually a problem..then you can put the fear of turning into a crackhead like Unbound into them. (J/K, he's the most well dressed crackhead I've ever met, btw)

*blush*.. it is the crachead inside me that matters not the one outside

- see how clean and welldressed i'll be on sat mornings - he he

peace

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Keep On Rollin' Unbound getting UNWOUND

TëMA

AIM: ZUinc2000

[Unbound]

Originally posted by a691vcc:

Originally posted by saigray:

That's so sweet.. *blush*.. thanks..

But really, as long as you're in touch with your kids you know when something is in control and when something is actually a problem..then you can put the fear of turning into a crackhead like Unbound into them. (J/K, he's the most well dressed crackhead I've ever met, btw)

I HAVE 2 DISAGREE ABOUT "U'LL KNOW WHEN THEY HAVE A REAL PROBLEM, THEN I'LL WILL DEAL WITH IT APPROACH". IN MY MIND THE 2ND THEY START 2 FUKIN AROUND WITH THIS SHIT I'M A LAY IT DOWN 2 THEM ABOUT THE POSSIBLE PATHZ THAT CAN BE TAKEN FROM THIS POINT ON. THATZ HOW U REALLY STAY IN TOUCH WITH THEM. I WOULD RATHER JUST NOT WAIT FOR A DISASTER. BEIN STRAIGHT UP IZN'T GOING 2 AFFECT THE RELATIONSHIP WITH UR KID IN A ADVERSE WAY.

agree 1000 %

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Keep On Rollin' Unbound getting UNWOUND

TëMA

AIM: ZUinc2000