sinergygrl Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 You had saved yourself for the right person? I have only been with one person, and I couldn't ever imagine being with anyone else, I just don't think it would feel right. He is a little older than me (I am 20 he turn's 24 soon) and he has been with a few people. I know it sounds silly, but sometimes I wish that he hadn't been with anyone else. I feel like all these other girls have a piece of him, so he can never give me his whole self. Ya know? I know it sounds really stupid, but it makes me sad sometimes. Then other times I wonder if I had been with other people then maybe I would understand, but I don't want to be with anyone else. Sorry about this babble, but I am really bummed out about it today for some reason. -SIN------------------Damn the man, save the empire! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cytherea Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 I had once thought (for about a second) that I wished I saved myself. Honestly imo I think people need to experience other people. The reason I am saying this is because some people do wait and only experience one person and then later on wonder what else is out there, I mean you are already wondering and how long have you been with your bf? I am not saying go out there and do this, it is just my opinion ------------------"Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 Hmm, my first was THE right person.. Obviously we are not together anymore but I don't think I could ever wish it was someone else... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gnice Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 I am sorry, but I am going to have to disagree with you there. I think it is hard to say that anyone is the right person for you, when you have nothing to compare it too. You might feel like the person you are with is amazing, but then there is always that little thought in the back of your head saying "am I missing out on something". Don't get me wrong, if that is how you feel then that is great, all the power to ya, but I don't think I would ever be stable with my girl if I had only been with just her, plus you pick up a few tricks along the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinergygrl Posted October 26 Author Report Share Posted October 26 I am sorry, I didn't mean to get anyone mad. I think some of you might have misunderstood me too. I am not wondering what it would be like to have sex with someone else. What I am wondering is, if the saddness of knowing that he has been with other people would go away. I know it doesn't make much sense, but I don't know how else to explain it. But I really don't want to be with anyone else. It is odd because the last couple people I dated before him I thought I loved an almost slept with, but I had that little thing in the back of my head making me feel like it wasn't right. Well, I didn't get that with my boyfriend now. We have been together for two years, and nothing has ever felt so right in my life. I just wish I could understand where he is coming from sometimes. It is hard for me to be open minded about this. Don't get me wrong, I am not judging anyone or anything like that as long as you are happy with yourself and your life that is all that matters. -SIN------------------Damn the man, save the empire! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 Sin, I think you misunderstood my post too.. Girlie, you gotta do whatever makes you happy. Wondering what could be or what if this or that won't do you any good. Mad props for waiting for the right guy. Not too many girls out there value that.. As far as him having slept with others and not you. I can understand, I'd feel a little jealous myself. But remember that he's with YOU now. Regardless of who he's been with. He's just more experiences (just joking). But seriously, if he's good to you and you guys have a good relationship, don't worry about those things. If you get curiuos yourself on what you are missing out on.. I don't know, you have to think if it's worth giving up what you have with your current bf.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gnice Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 Couldn't agree with mysteriousss anymore. You do what you have to do. If that is what makes you happy then go for it. There is no reason to doubt yourself or your feelings. For me it was different. It shouldn't really matter what happened in his past. I bet you he is happy he didn't stay with his first, because now he has you. That is way I would look at it.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinergygrl Posted October 26 Author Report Share Posted October 26 Myst... here is my main thing. Everyone always tells me that the first person they slept with will always hold a specail place in their heart or whatever. But....I know it sounds selfish...but there isn't room for me and some other girl. If he totally loves me then I should be the only thing in his heart ya know? Like the first person you were ever with, maybe once you meet that person who is right for you, you will realize that what you have for that person is so strong nothing could ever compare or is even worth giving a second thought to. Damn... I think I must be living la la land or something. I am not trying to pick a fight by any of this. I am just trying to understand, okay? I guess we are all different and who knows maybe that is just how it could be for me and my boyfriend. He swears that none of the other girls mean anything to him anymore since he has been with me, but then I hear everyone else that I know talking about how their first still means so much to them. Maybe it is because they haven't met the right person yet? I don't know. -SIN------------------Damn the man, save the empire! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 Sin, I totally understand what you are saying. Me personally, I will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart for my 1st. But NOT because he was the guy I lost my virginity to. Because we were together for 3 years and he was my first everything.. That bond between people will never die in most cases. BUT.. There is a HUGE difference between loving someone from your past (passive) vs. loving someone right now (active). Passive love for past bf/gf which meant something special to you will never go away. It will always be there. Every "special" person in your life leaves a mark in your heart. Especially if you're as close to them as a bf/gf.. BUT, again, that does NOT mean that this passive love is taking away from your relationship. Not at all! It's very complicated if you ask me but at the same time it's very simple. He's with you. He loves you. No matter what happened before. Of course he has his memories and feelings but who doesn't? Thinking the way you do will drive you crazy. Take it easy on yourself and enjoy it, not try to find a reason for doubts and uncertainties.. I honestly hope that you don't let these thoughts ruin anything with your bf. Everyone has a past. But it doesn't matter. Like I said before, if you guys are good together, nothing can change that. Not an exgf, not 10 exgf's.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobadrinker Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 Word of advice...if you ever become curious about his other experiences - DONT ASK ABOUT IT! For his and especially your own sake, don't!!! Like Mysterious said, what you have between the two of you is strictly between the two of you. Maybe it is something you'll understand after you've been with others. But by all means don't let that be the reason to jump in the sack. Be selective and make your relationships meaningful...somewhat atleast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ibelong2thenight Posted October 27 Report Share Posted October 27 my own experience...i didn't wait for the "right" person. and at times, yes i do, in a way, regret it. i don't have a sweet romantic story to tell about my first experience. and i never will. every once in a while when people talk about their firsts... i get that little pain... you all know what i'm talking about... that sharp stab that hits you deep, and you know will always hit you deep... no matter what happens in the future.however... i know that since then i have been with people i really care deeply about. and being able to differentiate the two types of experiences is something i think people who have only been with one person miss out on. perhaps you can argue that this is just my way of rationalizing my own actions. but i am more than content with the choices i have made. as for you... it sounds as if you have found your love. as for his past actions, i would follow the advice given and not inquire about them. you're the one he cares about now... that's all that counts. YOU HAVE TO KNOW THIS WITHIN YOUR HEART because if you continue to have this doubt about his feelings for you, it will surely take its toll on your relationship.look at those other girls as being foils to your relationship. they're relationships with your guy are meaningless, all the more so when compared to the relationship you have with him now.... just my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karde Posted October 27 Report Share Posted October 27 If you had saved yourself for the right person, you wouldn't be as experienced. By having experience you can make that "right" person have a great ole time ------------------My humble Webpage: http://www.geocities.com/kardes_ss/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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