For the people who are 25 + especially the girls here

[armada]

Originally posted by erotic26:

From MY own experiene I have dated guys who are under 25 and found them to be immature that is MY experience though. I am not sterotyping. I did not LIVE with him for 4 years and He DID not go out every weekend without me, it was always Us and all our friends and when we DId want to go out seperatly we would. THAT was NOt the problem.

He had moved in in DEC. before that we were in our seprate apartments and he decided that we move in.. WE figured we'd take a step into the right direction. Right from the start though there was tension.. I ended up going into surgery, he was taking a pay cut from job and THEN right away had to start studying for his series 7 EXAM which is an extremly hard test. The pressure Built up.. he started talking shitty to me , ignoring me COMPLETLY just b/c every night he had no choice but to prepare himself for this exam b/c his job would be on the line, I was supportive through all this and in the end he just could not handle the financial situation. Like he said in his goodbye letter " I just feel that there is no other way of me making adjustments in my life to better yours at this point" The letter really did not make any sense really.. WHICH is why I am left devasted and confused. B/c I know He truly loves me. The only reason why I mentioned Spring break is b/c out of anger i thought he may be plotting to go and he knew he could not if he was still living with me b/c he could not afford to.

I have no idea if he is now going.. I have no idea if it is really b/c of his bills and not being able to pay them that he had to go.. He never said I did anything wrong He said It was not me..IT IS immature of him to not face me and tell me WHAT is on his mind and WHY he felt he must go live back home. MAYBe he was very embarresed and his pride was hurt b/c he thought he could do it and realizing he would never be able to save any money this way and pay his bills BUT I atleast had deserved a reason. I have not called and WILL not, MAYBE in a couple of weeks after we are both over being so emmotional we will talk but I really Have to take care of me now and ask myself.. DID the GOOD out weigh the BAD b/c in the end He emmotionally abused me when all I did WAS be loving to him, loving and gave him PLENTY of space He studied for 2 months straight , paid no attention to me HARDLY I knew this test was important BUt SO is a relationship.. and right before his test was his Birthday i got him the Gift he REALLY wanted since Christmas (PS2) i made his Birthday special even though he could not really celebrate it b/c his test was two days away.. I was very very good to him.. I don't know why he turns from hot to cold (I went through this treatment last year, but we were not living together) MAYbe he has emmotional problems.. WHO KNOWS? BUt I really need some answers, and right now JUST showing me the way he left with just a stupid GOODBYE letter was FUCKED UP. OH by the way he was not a complete jerk he left me a check for half the rent and little more for expenses HOW LOVELY.

Oh yea, spragga's remark about Spring break is just about being with the guys... Yea RIIIIIGT, Maybe you need to come out of the closet hun... Just kidding

Listen I am just really really hurt right now if you are going to reply to say mean things don't bother I've been through enough.

thanks

Good luck hon. You sound like a very cool, supportive person. All qualities that any guy would be lucky to have in a partner. Hang in there now and you'll bounce back soon. Then you'll find someone worthy of you!!

[JackMeOff]

okay *yawn*

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[vampienyc10]

Originally posted by christyne13:

And to hear a fellow woman say that the reason he goes out is 'cause she's naggin' is upsetting to me.

A fellow woman? so what's that supposed to mean that because I am also a female that I should share the same views as you and most women?

Women have to realize and understand that men think differently than women..and they for sure handle situations in a different manner....

hmmmm.. interesting..

nag, v. - to find fault with continuously; to scold continually; to be continually pestering with complaints and faultfinding

nag, n. - 1. the act of nagging 2. a person who nags, particularly a woman

I swear I copied that right out of the dictionary..

Personally I think that when ANYONE, whether it be male of female, is being nagged by another person it can drive a person to do irrational things, which I am NOT condoning but sadly it happens..

My heart goes out to all of you.. We've all for the most part been hurt in one way or another and know that the only thing that will heal your wounds is TIME.....and like Goa said, IT WILL MAKE YOU A STRONGER PERSON!

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AIM vampienyc10

e-mail: vampie@aol.com

[vampienyc10]

Originally posted by blueangel:

Hey! Are ya coming out to dinner on 4/20? I KNOW YOU WILL!!

LOVING YOU!!

BlueAngel

Hey momma !! Sorry I just saw this ..left the office early yesterday .... You know I will def be there on the 20th ! and remember !

SMOKE FIRST THEN DRINK!!

Love Ya !!

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AIM vampienyc10

e-mail: vampie@aol.com

[erotic26]

It is now the fifth day.. I feel like I am going through a divorce It is so painful ut I feel alot better now that we talked and I got some answers, after all all these years I deserve to. I had a clue no matter what it was just that he thought he was ready at the time and when he moved in he thought he was... then he began to say to himself "Shit what is going on here, I'm only 25 and I am living like a married man.." We talked for awhile it was heartbreaking and I myseld could not believe I was saying GOODBYE but, I do know deep down I will be better off without him down the line. In fact I think this is what I needed to get MYSELF back, my self worth, my identity and realize I was in a controlling relationship of which he had only tried to bring me down b/c he himself was not happy with HIMSELF (career, freedom, privacy, etc) It was a long time I invested alot of energy but NOW I will work on making ME happy instead of always trying to please someone else. It is called being selfish and I would rather BE SELFISH than SELF-LESS. I really loved him and still do.. ok (let me stop the tears now) BUT WE are young and I NEED to just realize HE just was not ready It was in fair to the both of us.. living together for 3 months, broke that image of how we saw eachother for so many years and when he started focusing on his test and nonstop studying, there was no energy and affection, nuturing being put into the realtionship and after this project(the test) was finished - Unfortunatly, so were we. I tried my best gace my all and know I am much more mature than he was to go into something he was not ready for. I am not talking marriage, not talking a ring, but COMMITING to an exclusive realtionship where he felt that there were many goals that he had to still accomplish for his SELFWORTH and I realize SO do I. It may be fucked up that it took him this long to figure it out but I can't look in the past anymore. He loved me very much but WE just can't be. I have to accept this and so does he. I feel like I am in this twilight zone and keep looking for this light to get out but I know eventually I will say a year from now "I am glad we ended it and I am so much more happier now" He taught me alot and I taught him alot about himself and love. It had bothered me that he once in a blue moon went to the Factory, b/c in my opinion the place is evil and is hell in there and why would you want to be in a place that is like HEll? unless deep inside you are evil? I don't know but when I am ready for my next relationship (which won't be for AWHILE) it will be with someone who is worthy of me, and not controlling like he was with me. I am a beautiful person and I deserve THE BEST that life has to offer. IT is his loss. Atleast he was honest with me and told me kinda what I already knew but was so in denial I needed to hear it. HE WAS NOT READY, he wants his freedom, privacy and to have life easier by going back home, he has much growing up to do. As he said " He is unhappy with himself, unhappy with his career and wants to find out who he is" I believe sadly that he may have emmotional probelms as so does everyone else too and only he can help himself. It is a very devasting thing to go through as with anyone who is grieving over a loss of a loved one, it's like a death. I am now going to start getting back in to working out and feeling stronger again. what was also weird now that I look back, he had such a hot girlfriend and when we would go out dancing he would compliment himself " My hait came out awesome tonight" instead of being like " you look HOT" Maybe he was more vain than I thought. Maybe he felt competitve with me.. weird but maybe true. BUT the bottom line here is i have learved my FINAL lesson, I know now It just came down to him NOT being ready for what we were getting into, and you know WHAT maybe really neither was I. Cause I had felt I was losing my identity, which is no good. YES my initial post was much different than my second and now my third which is all b/c of I am feeling, the waves are immense and is expexted when going through much what is like a divorce for the both of us. I can only take it day by day and my next plan is to go back to my apt. and to REARRANGE MY bedroom back to the way it was BEFORE he moved in so It won't feel AS heartbreaking. He had said maybe in the future we could rebuild a friendship we once had BUT I do not think that is possible NOW. It would only hurt too much and who knows , nothing is written in stone. i have not been home in days, trying to get my strength back, it will be a difficult thing going back there, missing his things, his scent but I have to stop this and just LET GO of what we had remember the good times, remeber all the good things he said and taught me and FORGET the bad ones. Thanks alot for those who have said words of encouragement. Especially to BLUEANGEL who seems like you know what I am feeling girlfriend and have never met you but you seem like good people. CIAO for now......