LavenderMenace Posted June 20 Report Share Posted June 20 That they are not really in love with you. They are just in love with the idea they have of you. I've tried being even bitchier than usual and that doesn't seem to work.I tried explaining the situation rationally and that doesn't seem to work.I'm now resorting to "I can't be your friend anymore" but that feels aweful.Any words of wisdom. ------------------"Life has no instruction manual. Parts and labor can be impossible to find. Many go down the road with parts that are in great need of service. A breakdown is eventual." - HR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xcracker Posted June 20 Report Share Posted June 20 Originally posted by sinergygrl:How do you know what they feel for you isn't true? If I were you I wouldn't try to waste my time convincing them otherwise. Just try and distance yourself from them. I realize this person is in your clique, but just act to them how you act to anyone else, eventually they will either meet someone else or get tired of putting all this energy into something that isn't going to happen. Did you tell them that you don't want more than a friendship? Good luck!Well said, this is exactly what she has to do. No need to take drastic measures and make you uncomforterable with yourself for your actions. Just go with the flow, and avoid leading him on.. Thats torture!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted June 20 Author Report Share Posted June 20 reread my second post. this has been going on for months and its only getting worse. I just cut him off, but I'm still going to see him cause we have all the same friends. and trust me, there's no confusion about his chances.------------------"Life has no instruction manual. Parts and labor can be impossible to find. Many go down the road with parts that are in great need of service. A breakdown is eventual." - HR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted June 20 Report Share Posted June 20 tell him you have a girlfriend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted June 20 Author Report Share Posted June 20 Originally posted by somebitch:tell him you have a girlfriend. If only it were true!------------------"Life has no instruction manual. Parts and labor can be impossible to find. Many go down the road with parts that are in great need of service. A breakdown is eventual." - HR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harley1 Posted June 20 Report Share Posted June 20 Originally posted by lavendermenace:second, I have made it ABUNDANTLY clear that it will NEVER happen. I can't believe you used him that one time!! Way to toy with his emotions! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rose1722 Posted June 21 Report Share Posted June 21 If you can't cut off all contact with him b/c u guys have the same frends, what I would do is not pay him any attention at all or just very little. Have your friends (his friends) help U out too.. like keep u guys at a distance..One last time state to him clearly (and calmly) that it's not going to work out etc.. (whatever u need to say) and say that u guys can't be friends anymore if he doesn't stop doing whatever he's doing.That is necessary to do b/c he needs to cool off and seeing u would not help him out. Being cold like that is harsh on a person who is in love (I believe that he is even though he really is not. u know what I'm trying to say? Just remember when u were "in love" and some1 rejected u... and later when u finally moved on.. u realize it wasn't "true love." Well right now this feeling of "love" is blindig him..)Anyhow just don't get emotional - ie. raise your voice etc... b/c if he knows he's having an effect on u that way.. he'll keep on thinking there's still this slight, tiny chance that he can convince u to go out with him...So keep our attitde toward him constant... be cold, meaning just ignore him as much as u can until he stops doing whatever he's doing. But seems like it'll be a long time until he does though.Anyhow, good luck to u!!! Really... it's really a hard thing to do!Tomomi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris817 Posted June 21 Report Share Posted June 21 cut off all contact with the personsome people just dont get it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted June 21 Author Report Share Posted June 21 Originally posted by chris817:cut off all contact with the personsome people just dont get itYeah, thats what I'm doing now, except the problem is that we have all the same friends. what am I supposed to do? abandon my entire crew?------------------"Life has no instruction manual. Parts and labor can be impossible to find. Many go down the road with parts that are in great need of service. A breakdown is eventual." - HR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ecesis Posted June 21 Report Share Posted June 21 wow that got me pretty sad..If he wants to show you that he's determined to make it work, that he won't give up, maybe he just needs to realize that no matter what, it's two people in a relationship, and you're just not that other person.He can try and try, but just as he decided to commit, you decided that this relationship wasn't the one, and for you it's been time to move on regardless of how much he wants to try to make the nonexistant "it" work..hope that helps, but even though it's shtty, remember that at some point, a point that you're trying to make happen, he's going to snap and realize that someone he's absolutely infatuated with (i.e. you) (aeiou -jk) truly doesn't feel the same way about him, and he's going to feel that death that comes from being rejected by that perfect someone ..joe ------------------ "..can ya feel me.." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinergygrl Posted June 21 Report Share Posted June 21 How do you know what they feel for you isn't true? If I were you I wouldn't try to waste my time convincing them otherwise. Just try and distance yourself from them. I realize this person is in your clique, but just act to them how you act to anyone else, eventually they will either meet someone else or get tired of putting all this energy into something that isn't going to happen. Did you tell them that you don't want more than a friendship? Good luck!------------------ "No further evidence is needed to show that "mental illness" is not the name of a biologicalcondition whose nature awaits to be elucidated, but is the name of a concept whose purpose isto obscure the obvious." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted June 21 Author Report Share Posted June 21 first, there is no way its real love because he doesn't know me at all, he just thinks he does. he doesn't get me at all. (and he's very stubborn)second, I have made it ABUNDANTLY clear that it will NEVER happen. Third, he won't meet anyone else. he's 26 and he's never had a girlfriend.I'm screwed.------------------"Life has no instruction manual. Parts and labor can be impossible to find. Many go down the road with parts that are in great need of service. A breakdown is eventual." - HR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinergygrl Posted June 21 Report Share Posted June 21 Leave town and get your name changed!------------------ "No further evidence is needed to show that "mental illness" is not the name of a biologicalcondition whose nature awaits to be elucidated, but is the name of a concept whose purpose isto obscure the obvious." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted June 21 Report Share Posted June 21 you flat out have to tell the guy that you dont want to be with anyone and if he cant understand that then you cant even speak to him anymore. when he calls, tell him you dont want to speak to him, being nice will just make him think he has a chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClubKid77 Posted June 21 Report Share Posted June 21 punch them in the nose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foodbark Posted June 21 Report Share Posted June 21 the "you don't really know me you just think you do" never works.no one really knows anyone. people are always in love with thier relative, subjective notions of who it is they love (see John Keats - La Belle Dame sans Merci) so as far as his little world is concerned he does know you and is in love with you(just as you are certain that he does not and does not*lol*). you will never be able to convince him otherwise. the not being interested in a relationship card is always a good one to pull because it gets the person off your back without saying that you find anything objectionable about them in particular, and when they do see you with some other person later on you can just say it was the right person at just the right time.you have to realize that convincing this guy that he is not I love with you is a stupid as him convincing you that he is, both of you are wrong and always will be wrong in the other person's eyes. i hope i have help at least a little*lol* http://www.geocities.com/foodbark/ ------------------"Don't go crazy, don't get depressed, don't go after stupid, unattractive women, don't fight the feelin', don't let anyone tell you that disco house is terrible." --Trevor Zier[This message has been edited by foodbark (edited 06-21-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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