pkern Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 The first time it hit me was one night last year – I think it was some time in February. I was standing in the middle of Twilo’s dance floor, two hours deep into a set by David Seaman when the bass dropped to silence. Even the air seemed to pause as we all looked up toward the deejay booth, waiting to see what David would do. I hadn’t known anyone there, other than the one person I had gone with. Yet all night it felt like the crowd had drawn nearer to me. Maybe it was the shared experience of travelling through David’s exceptionally crafted set – the journey it was taking us on - or maybe it was a camaraderie born from making it all the way to 6 a.m. with at least three more hours to go while the rest of the city was in bed. Outside the streets were quiet, and for the first time in hours, suddenly, so were we, slowed to a stop as the lights ceased flashing and the beat disappeared. And though all night I had felt close to these strangers – bound to them by volume and bass – in the silence, we converged and like an anxious child, raised our hopeful face to the deejay booth. The room had become a church, and I had become part of an infinite collective, a beautiful congregation on the intimate edge of rapture. Suddenly, the silence was severed: “I had a dream…” The words rang out in the unmistakable voice of Dr. King. In unison, we lifted our hands – to David, to the night, to the words and what they meant. “I had a dream, that one day…” and a lilting oboe ached behind his voice “…this nation would rise up…” and a gunning snare drum lifted too “and live out the true meaning of its creed. I had a dream.” I looked around me: to my left, a gay couple; in front, a drag queen with bangled arms outstretched; behind me, a group of Asians; to my right, a Spanish girl. “…my children will be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character…I had a dream today,” and the bass returned like a heartbeat, the pulse gradually building until the room felt like a womb – warm, wet and loving – and I felt like a child again – innocent and powerful, safe and courageous. “…the words of that old Negro spiritual, “Free at last free at last, thank God almighty, we are free at last!”” The crescendo hit like an awakening. The snare now racing over the once-solitary oboe, we all began to move, jump, cheer, squealing in thanks to a God I had never intended on believing in. For in this place, this moment, this music, I felt no distance in myself, no distinction between what I was and what anyone else was. For the first time, I understood what it all represented - what David was trying to say from behind those tables. It wasn’t about drugs or escapism, or simple hedonistic partying that serves only its own self-indulgent end: it was about hope, unity, community, and most importantly, joy. I understood why I loved this scene - that as long as there was night and music and people who flocked to both for comfort and relief, I was not alone. This is the gift. This is the dream.And then, again, on a Saturday night in August, standing beneath the painted dome of the Hammerstein, listening to Spacegirl build anthems from nothing, the feeling returned. Strangers became friends, dancing became worship, a labor of meditation and triumph, and the room became an altar upon which I sacrificed every inhibition and preconception and judgement for the chance to feel free, and safe, and beautiful, and young, and just like everyone else. This is what each night out should leave us with – an awareness of being alive, vital and inextricably connected to each individual we encounter. “I had a dream…” and once and a while, on the perfect night, it becomes real. It stays with me even after the sun has come up and I’ve retreated back through the tunnel to where I came from. The night is short, and the deejay eventually leaves the decks, the speakers sink into silence and the doors close behind us. The strangers disperse, lost again into an even larger sea of anonymous faces that bear the marks of strain and weight. Let this music be a metaphor of what we can become, of how we can handle one another, of how we can live our lives and regard the world. Let this music harmonize us the way it harmonizes the most seemingly disparate elements into seamless symmetrical song. Let these magic nights blend into day until there is no separation, and even sunlight offers refuge to us all.Peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxxart Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 Well said. And I bow in Gratitude... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuclubkidd Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 WOW!!! that post was amazing...and i was at TWILO that night and i remember when that song came on...it was amazing...this post brought back so many memories....the only words to describe what u wrote r utterly, completely and undeniably truthful and amazing!its all about the muZik, the houZe muZik! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamijosh Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 Unbelieveable........................OLAY!and she only has 5 posts............... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxxart Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 Originally posted by miamijosh Unbelieveable........................OLAY!and she only has 5 posts............... Not bad for a New-comer to the scene, hugh????!?!??!?See, it's not about when you came into the scene, it's about what you get out of it. Maybe the scene "isn't what it used to be," as told by many old-skoolers I read postings of today, but it is what you make of it. And there is definitely many great artists out there, and good energy. You just have to help it along sometimes!That's my girl!:rainbow: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigpoppanils Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 see why i have free at last in my top 10's/5's? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pkern Posted August 28 Author Report Share Posted August 28 Thanks so much everyone for your awesome feedback - and for taking the time to read my rather long-ass outpouring. I'm glad you feel it too...So does anyone else have a moment they'd like to share??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximman Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 omg... you just put into many, many (GREAT) words... EXACTLY the realization that I came to while I was on my marathon run at DT/CC nite at Twilo."It was then that I realized that I was them, and that they were me"Sent shivers down my spine. Very impressive piece of literature that was. I'll call it what it is...more than just a post... a piece of literature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loch Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 can i have the name of your dealer? kidding aside, that was quite a nostalgic and feel-good piece; very inspiring and uplifting, at first glance. by the end of the post, i realized that we are all creatures of mood, and that we express elation & euphoria and become ambitious in our writing while mesmerized in this state, and that (and this is a big "AND") these emotions are only momentary.i will submit that it was a good message, and believe that you meant everything you wrote, but i also will comment that its aim is too lofty and the emotions under which it was written is too transient to have any real effect. Originally posted by pkern ....Let this music be a metaphor of what we can become, of how we can handle one another, of how we can live our lives and regard the world. Let this music harmonize us the way it harmonizes the most seemingly disparate elements into seamless symmetrical song. Let these magic nights blend into day, until there is no separation and even the sunlight offers shelter to us all... it's good to dream, but then most of us have to wake up to all the REAL honest truths that actually goes on in our lives, and we have the breakfest of champions of nicotine & caffeine and brace ourselves for the day that lies ahead. and then it hits us: f*ck world harmony; i just want to get through the day.this message brought to you by the "rain on their parade" foundation. typo edit: i meant to say "feel-good" up there, not "fee-good" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxxart Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 Originally posted by loch ...we express elation & euphoria and become ambitious in our writing while mesmerized in this state, and that (and this is a big "AND") these emotions are only momentary...i will submit that it was a good message, and believe that you meant everything you wrote, but i also will comment that its aim is too lofty and the emotions under which it was written is too transient to have any real effect. it's good to dream, but then most of us have to wake up to all the REAL honest truths that actually goes on in our lives, and we have the breakfest of champions of nicotine & caffeine and brace ourselves for the day that lies ahead. and then it hits us: f*ck world harmony; i just want to get through the day.this message brought to you by the "rain on their parade" foundation. *First let me say that pkern is _always_ this ambitious, I've read some of her other writings!!! *And maybe the initial wave of emotion starts during an induced state, but it can certainly be taken into daily living. It's all about The Balance. And I for one wake up everyday, happy to be part of life. Happy to have had the opportuntiy to experience nights like that at TWILO. This happiness, alone, transends me. It sprends into the lives of the children I teach. *Maybe you should have more then smokes and coffee for breakfast!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to just get through the day! I want to enjoy the day! I want to live each day and experience the tiniest idosyncrasies that make life special...call me a romantic... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevinneci Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 Awesome, let me just say that i have not been able to come across a experience like this in NYC clubs. But every weekend that I went to club Stereo it was exactly how you described twilo.Hopefully ill be able to experience this "everything right" again this weekend at danny howells. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silente Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 A friend of mine was describing that exact phenomenon last night. He said - you haven't been out, you haven't seen it yet. But there's going to be some night when you're out at a club, and *something* happens. The music becomes more than sound...it becomes a force, a spiritual being that's connecting you with the thousands of people around you. You've been dancing for 6, 7 hours, and you're tired, but there's something in the music that doesn't let you stop, it's moving you beyond yourself into something greater... It went on for awhile...I've never heard him so poetic. But reading pkern's post sent shivers down my spine - I got goosebumps. Moments like that are gifts...it doesn't matter where they come from - it matters that they *are*. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pkern Posted August 29 Author Report Share Posted August 29 Originally posted by silente Moments like that are gifts...it doesn't matter where they come from - it matters that they *are*. I couldn't agree more! And even though the moment might be fleeting, the lesson of it can endure. I'm so glad so many people are relating to what I wrote. I was very curious about what reactions I would get. So many people are reading this thread, and so few are responding. What's up with that???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceejay187 Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 I really miss TWILO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loch Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 Originally posted by jaxxart ...i don't doubt pkern's ambitions of carrying out the feeling of this experience one step further, by having it transcend to other parts of daily life. such ideas & ideals bring smiles to many a people.the point of my post wasn't done just for the sake of being argumentative (although that was partly why ), but it was also a light-hearted attempt at poking fun of the often times dark reality of things, and directed especially toward her suggestion that, and i'm paraphrasing, that we should let the music & harmony be a metaphor of how we conduct ourselves in our daily lives and with each other. yes, true, it's all about balance. and that's exactly my point. i'm responding to the thread because on certain days, i'll have my glass of o.j. and skip-n-a-hop to work on a cool sunny day and can relate to pkern's message of this transcending harmony. on others, i'll puff away on cigarettes and gulp down coffee and say "f*ck world harmony, i just want to get through the day". just wanted to bring balance to the post.we are creatures of mood, and emotions are a fleeting thing. as for me, i thought i was a romantic until i realized it's what happens only in movies and to other people.and now, back to happy thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 Originally posted by pkern The first time it hit me was one night last year – I think it was some time in February. I was standing in the middle of Twilo’s dance floor, two hours deep into a set by David Seaman when the bass dropped to silence, the crowd slowed to a stop, the lights ceased flashing and then, we all looked up toward the deejay booth, waiting to see what David would do. I didn’t know anyone there, other than the one person I had gone with. Yet all night it seemed like the crowd had drawn closer and closer to me. Maybe it was the shared experience of travelling through David’s exceptionally crafted set – the journey it was taking us on - or maybe it was a camaraderie born from making it all the way to 6 a.m. with at least three more hours to go when we knew the rest of the city was readying for bed. But as close as these strangers had all felt to me, once that silence hit, and we all watched like anxious children as David’s hand release the next track, that place became a church, and I became part of an infinite collective, a beautiful congregation on the very edge of rapture. Suddenly, the silence was severed: “I had a dream…” the words rang out in that unmistakable, undeniable voice of Dr. King. In unison, we lifted our hands – to David, to the night, to the words and what they meant. “I had a dream, that one day…” and a lilting oboe ached behind his voice. “…this nation would rise up…” and a gunning snare drum lifted too “and live out the true meaning of its creed. I had a dream today.” I looked around me: to my left, a gay couple, in front, a drag queen with bangled arms outstretched. Behind, a group of Asians, to my right, a Spanish girl. “…my children will be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character…I had a dream today” And the bass returned like a heartbeat, the pulse gradually building until the room felt like a womb – warm, wet and loving – and I felt like a child again – innocent and powerful, safe and courageous. “…the words of that old Negro spiritual, free at last free at last, thank God almighty, we are free at last!” And the crescendo hit again like an awakening, the snare now racing over the once-solitary oboe, we all began to jump, cheer, squealing in thanks to a God I had never intended on believing in. For in this place, this moment, this music I had found, I felt no distinction in myself, no distance between what I was and what anyone else was. For the first time, I understood - what it all meant, what David was trying to say from behind those tables: that it wasn’t about drugs – it wasn’t about partying: it was about truth and beauty and most importantly, community. It was about humility at the feet of all that is larger than us, and responsibility for all that is within our power to change. I understood why I loved this scene - that as long as there was night and music and people who flocked to both for comfort and relief, I was not alone. This is the gift. This is the dream.And then, again, on Saturday, standing beneath the painted dome of the Hammerstein, listening to Spacegirl build anthems from nothing, the feeling returned. Strangers became friends, dancing became worship, a labor of meditation and triumph, and the room became an altar upon which I sacrificed every inhibition and preconception and judgement for the chance to feel free, and safe, and beautiful, and young, and just like everyone else. This is what each night out should leave us with – an awareness of being alive, vital and inextricably connected to each individual we encounter. “I had a dream…” and once and a while, on the perfect night, it becomes real. It stays with me even after the sun has come up and I’ve retreated back through the tunnel to where I came from. The night is short, and the deejay eventually leaves the deck, the speakers sink into silence and the doors close behind us. The strangers disperse, lost again into an even larger sea of anonymous faces that bear the marks of strain and weight. Let this music be a metaphor of what we can become, of how we can handle one another, of how we can live our lives and regard the world. Let this music harmonize us the way it harmonizes the most seemingly disparate elements into seamless symmetrical song. Let these magic nights blend into day, until there is no separation and even the sunlight offers shelter to us all.Peace. Beautifully,Put!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pkern Posted August 30 Author Report Share Posted August 30 Originally posted by loch yes, true, it's all about balance. and that's exactly my point. i'm responding to the thread because on certain days, i'll have my glass of o.j. and skip-n-a-hop to work on a cool sunny day and can relate to pkern's message of this transcending harmony. on others, i'll puff away on cigarettes and gulp down coffee and say "f*ck world harmony, i just want to get through the day". just wanted to bring balance to the post.True, true! Thank you for your intelligent - and articulate - response to my post. I agree that the idealism expressed in it deserves to be balanced with a good stiff dose of cynicism. Ironically, I am usually the cynic in my group so my outpouring is a rare mood...nevertheless, I think this whole "scene" needs to refocus and remember that there is something more substantial to be had than a hangover and low seratonin levels... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guccigrlnyc Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 WOW that was really moving, I couldn't of said it better myself, I totally agree! SO i see that i am not the only one that feels the music uplift my spirit as I dance to the bit in the early hours of the morning.................well done! see you at the club scene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barvybe Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Originally posted by pkern True, true! Thank you for your intelligent - and articulate - response to my post. I agree that the idealism expressed in it deserves to be balanced with a good stiff dose of cynicism. Ironically, I am usually the cynic in my group so my outpouring is a rare mood...nevertheless, I think this whole "scene" needs to refocus and remember that there is something more substantial to be had than a hangover and low seratonin levels... Hey, really nicely done. One of the reasons that i've always loved the club scene more than other nightly activities for, well for more years then i care to admit, is that is does break down barriers. We all walk around all day doing our things, in our worlds as corporate slaves, artists, service professionals, students, what have you, and most of us don't branch out beyond what we know well. On those really good nights, a dj gives us all a common ground. The energy and uplifting tiredness that we savor toward the end of a night gives us a shared experience and you look around (maybe with your eyes closed) and feel comfortable and comforted by a oneness with the place, the people, the music and the moment.On other nights when the dj can't catch or create the right mood or the mix on the floor is too judgemental or there for reasons other than the music, this doesn't quite happen. Then you've gotta create your own space and place and feeling which is still great, but not the same.Its unfortunate that alot of people NEED to use drugs to help them get this feeling and be part of this (not preaching, i'm an offender too), but if that's what people need sometimes to feel comfortable enough with themselves to really share something, i'm all for it.pkern ---> get touched by this mood more often. was a pleasure to read Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxxart Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Its unfortunate that alot of people NEED to use drugs to help them get this feeling and be part of this (not preaching, i'm an offender too), but if that's what people need sometimes to feel comfortable enough with themselves to really share something, i'm all for it. You are sooo right! I too believe many people out there are using this part of life (the scene; drugs, clubs, music, etc...) as an outlet to get outside of themselves, to get away from themselves, and to hide from themselves. When it could be, and I think should be, a place to get closer to your own self- to go deep within oneself. The music alone can help do this during nights like this at TWILO. I used to be like that- I would go to forget who I was- "blow off steam." Now I am happy and comfortable with myself, it makes it all that more enjoyable!!! You know what I mean????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nycsexkitten Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 kudos sweetie! very nicely said. and i do recall many many moments similar to what you described. that's why the love the scene... (and twilo was always a favorite) IT IS ALL ABOUT THE BEATS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonicinfusion Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Dude that was some trippy post .. i know exactly what you mean .. and everybody who is in the music Feels that way ...But a Qs for you .. what are you smoking right now ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubyraks Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 I just couldn't help, but thank you for that wonderful essay. It describes many of my greatest nights out. You put into words what I have been trying to describe to so many people who just haven't had that experience. For as Faithless say "This is my church....This is where I heal my hurts....for tonight...god is a dj". Some of my most introspective and greatest moments have been in the middle of the dancefloor. Many of these moments have resulted in clarity and these don't come too often. When you're able to have so many in this environment, you just realize that there must be more to it than just music. Peace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pkern Posted August 30 Author Report Share Posted August 30 Originally posted by sonicinfusion But a Qs for you .. what are you smoking right now ? Just Parliments, my friend... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pkern Posted October 1 Author Report Share Posted October 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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