So who else is feeling in that "not clubbing" mood like i am?

[quoth]

just wondering who out there at this time of grief just really are not at all thinkin bout going clubbin in nyc? i mean, i was supposed go see my cousin spin at Limelight Sept. 22nd...but u know what? i really dont think i'll be chillin in the city for a long while and if missing some awesome nights of dancing my ass off with my girl, then so be it. Its better to rent a movie or some shit right now with a loved one than to go out an party like its no ones business...thats just i am out of respect...i know theres people who still go and have gone clubbin this past weekend...but isnt there anyone who feels some weirdness out of respect to go and purse a night of clubbing? just curious.....peace -QUOTH

[misskittie]

Actually, to each their own I say. Friday night, I hung out in a bar with my girls for a while after the vigil. Just had a few drinks, talked a bit, almost had a few brawls (lol which yes, I find amusing) and listened to some good music. It felt good to be in the company of friends going through the same emotions as myself. None the less, the tragedy is still lurking in the air but for our own sanity, we needed to do that.

Saturday was my Mother's 49th Birthday and I *partied* with my family. We talked, laughed, giggled, ate cake and just enjoyed each others company. A friend of mine came in from NY to spend the time with me too and it really lifted his spirits. Later on that evening, we hit the local club, Tequila Joes. I saw friends that I havent seen since before everything took place, drank, did shots, danced, laughed and just let myself go. The dance floor for *me* is a place of release. It's another world where I can forget my problems and enter a dream for a few hours.

I guess it is safe to say that everyone deals with trauma in a different way. I mourned all week. I cried till there were no more tears. And Friday, well Friday I realized why I felt so empty and lifeless inside and it was because, "i missed my laughter and smile". I am still praying for those lost, for the rescue teams, and everyone grieiving over this but I refuse to stop *my* life. I dont want to die one day and say "damn, I wish I didnt grieve over that for so long because I missed out on so much since I did". I am still missing some friends. Four actually, and I continue to pray for them. But no matter what, no matter where they may be, I know they want me to be happy and do those things that make me smile most.

We can grieve but we must at some point return to ourselves. Im not condemning anyone who chooses not to party for the next month or two but I can not allow myself to be one of them. Life does go on and I grieved for days straight. I thought I was beginning to seriously loose my mind and Im not going that route. I could have done something to change many peoples lives around me and Im thankful I snapped out if it before it was too late.

I am fortunate enough to still have my entire family here after all that has taken place. They are still here for me to hug, to laugh with, to cry with, to talk with. My grandparents were actually supposed to have breakfast in Windows of the World that morning and they didnt go. My Grandmother had a bad feeling about going and I thank God every minute of everyday that he gave her that signal.

I feel horrible about what happened but Im lucky enough to still be breathing. Lucky enough to feel the warm sun beat down on my face and smell freshly cut grass. I can remember what happened here always but I need to continue to LIVE MY LIFE. I may not be here tomorrow so its time to move forward.

Now, the only question is, where should I go next week to keep my spirits up and my heart a glow?

~MISSKITTIE~

[quoth]

Originally posted by misskittie

Actually, to each their own I say. Friday night, I hung out in a bar with my girls for a while after the vigil. Just had a few drinks, talked a bit, almost had a few brawls (lol which yes, I find amusing) and listened to some good music. It felt good to be in the company of friends going through the same emotions as myself. None the less, the tragedy is still lurking in the air but for our own sanity, we needed to do that.

Saturday was my Mother's 49th Birthday and I *partied* with my family. We talked, laughed, giggled, ate cake and just enjoyed each others company. A friend of mine came in from NY to spend the time with me too and it really lifted his spirits. Later on that evening, we hit the local club, Tequila Joes. I saw friends that I havent seen since before everything took place, drank, did shots, danced, laughed and just let myself go. The dance floor for *me* is a place of release. It's another world where I can forget my problems and enter a dream for a few hours.

I guess it is safe to say that everyone deals with trauma in a different way. I mourned all week. I cried till there were no more tears. And Friday, well Friday I realized why I felt so empty and lifeless inside and it was because, "i missed my laughter and smile". I am still praying for those lost, for the rescue teams, and everyone grieiving over this but I refuse to stop *my* life. I dont want to die one day and say "damn, I wish I didnt grieve over that for so long because I missed out on so much since I did". I am still missing some friends. Four actually, and I continue to pray for them. But no matter what, no matter where they may be, I know they want me to be happy and do those things that make me smile most.

We can grieve but we must at some point return to ourselves. Im not condemning anyone who chooses not to party for the next month or two but I can not allow myself to be one of them. Life does go on and I grieved for days straight. I thought I was beginning to seriously loose my mind and Im not going that route. I could have done something to change many peoples lives around me and Im thankful I snapped out if it before it was too late.

I am fortunate enough to still have my entire family here after all that has taken place. They are still here for me to hug, to laugh with, to cry with, to talk with. My grandparents were actually supposed to have breakfast in Windows of the World that morning and they didnt go. My Grandmother had a bad feeling about going and I thank God every minute of everyday that he gave her that signal.

I feel horrible about what happened but Im lucky enough to still be breathing. Lucky enough to feel the warm sun beat down on my face and smell freshly cut grass. I can remember what happened here always but I need to continue to LIVE MY LIFE. I may not be here tomorrow so its time to move forward.

Now, the only question is, where should I go next week to keep my spirits up and my heart a glow?

~MISSKITTIE~

Damn, well said.

[marianne13]

yeah this weekend i couldn't see myself going out and partying..It just felt too wierd..But I agree that we should go on with our lives as soon as we feel comfortable..

[lillizzy]

i haven't been in the mood to go out lately, and this just adds on to it.

[misskittie]

Originally posted by quoth

Damn, well said.

Why thank you! I like to think so myself..hehe

xoxo

~misskittie~ *share a smile*

[kkeot]

Yeah I know what you mean, I'm of two minds,

my sister had her birthday wenesday, so we took

her out friday and it was good to be out laughing

relaxing a little regroup my head, but I really don't

fell like doing allot of hard core partying. I dunno

just feels a little strange, but on the other hand I

defintetaly feel like being around people these days.

[djmikedr]

What your feeling is normal, I'm feeling as well as alot of other people (even those who wont admit it). The scene is just going threw a low right now thast all. Without the lows you can't appreciate the highs.

Strangely enough I "jumped ship" just the week before Twilo went down, It was high for so long, things caught up, times change. Law low, take a break, try to chill with your "club g\friends" in non club/drug related activites, things will come up soon.

My opionion of being in the business for 14 years (it's what I see every year, it goes through cycles)