Getting with a close friend

[Saboteur]

I suddenly realized how bad i want one of my closest friends... anyone know any smart ways to approach this? dont wanna cause a trainwreck. peace.

[dgmodel]

Hold me close,

Keep me near,

Can you take away the frightening

can you take away my fear?

I wonder what will happen,

I wonder of our fate,

I wonder if things will change

if you and I decide to mate?

Will you look differently at me,

Will I look differently at you,

Will our relationship change

with the addition of something new?

Will this bring us closer,

Will this pull us apart,

Will this conflict a friendship

with matters of the heart?

I know you want to do it,

You know I want it too,

But we both worry of the repercussions

if we do what we want to do?

Will the pleasure of the moment,

The ecstasy of the night,

Be just as good in the morning

and bind our friendship tight?

Or will the intimate act,

Make our friendship weird,

And from that day forward

make each other hated and feared?

Is the risk really worth it,

Is the reward so grand,

That you can see the chances for trouble

and forget them on the other hand?

I hope I can have the wisdom,

To make the right decision,

I do not want our friendship

to end in a division.

or go see chasing amy... theres this one powerful scene were ben affleck professes his love to his best friend... very moving... you might be able to get something from there...

[SPYGIRL3]

Originally posted by Saboteur

I suddenly realized how bad i want one of my closest friends... anyone know any smart ways to approach this? dont wanna cause a trainwreck. peace.

You have to take in consideration how long you two have been friends, why you became friends, and how many friends you have in common...Then are you the type of guy she would date? WHy do you suddenly have "feelings" for her? How much time do you spend together or apart for that matter..... I say be very very careful with this, you don't want to ruin a great friendship.....

Best bet is to talk to her and tell her how you feel, BUT choose your words carefully.... One of my friends "tried" to do this, but went about it the wrong way so.....He freaked me out, it took us a liitle while to get back to some sort of "normal"..... If you think you are gonna freak her out, even just a little, DON"T say anything...That's just my advice

[nitro449]

Originally posted by Saboteur

I suddenly realized how bad i want one of my closest friends... anyone know any smart ways to approach this? dont wanna cause a trainwreck. peace.

Go for it ..I think it's hard for guys and girls to be friends without any sexual desires...

[barvybe]

Originally posted by nitro449

Go for it ..I think it's hard for guys and girls to be friends without any sexual desires...

i agree with both nitro and spygirl. the question is, are you into her enough to risk ending up with nothing? if so, you need to say something to her. if you aren't sure or think definitely not, then DON'T unless you have some real reasons to think she might be feeling the same way.

honesty is always the best, espeically when you are sober - don't do this when you are out partying or anything - unless you are alone and both in reasonable control.

good luck. thats a tough one

[squeezemay]

If you are prepared to have an end to the friendship once the desire is fufilled, I say go for it. If you value the friendship, I say cherish it............

[blueguy808]

Hey DGModel...where did you get that? It suits my situation perfectly, but the object of my affection is no dummy so i'd like to be able to quote it. if it's yours i'd like your permission to use it. may i?

[SPYGIRL3]

Originally posted by nitro449

Go for it ..I think it's hard for guys and girls to be friends without any sexual desires...

I disagree....I have guy friends that I am not even remotely atrracted to at all, but I love to hang out with them and such...

I suppose sometimes there are those few exceptions.....

[dgmodel]

Originally posted by blueguy808

Hey DGModel...where did you get that? It suits my situation perfectly, but the object of my affection is no dummy so i'd like to be able to quote it. if it's yours i'd like your permission to use it. may i?

A friend of mine wrote it...if you catch my drift...

so go right ahead...

[nitro449]

Originally posted by SPYGIRL2

I disagree....I have guy friends that I am not even remotely atrracted to at all, but I love to hang out with them and such...

I suppose sometimes there are those few exceptions.....

If you're not attracted to them , then they must not be attractive. When I hang out with a girl and she looks good i have a hard time NOT fantising about her in bed. It's just human nature. That's why I believe that guys and girls can't be friends for an extended perid of time.

[lollib]

Yeah, but everyone has a different opinion. There could be someone who you think is so pretty and someone else can think they are not so attractive. I have guy friends that I have been friends with for years and have never thought about them in any way but as a friend. And this is the truth!!! Maybe for a guy it is different though!! Most guys think with their penises anyway- hee, hee!!

[tastyt]

Originally posted by nitro449

If you're not attracted to them , then they must not be attractive. When I hang out with a girl and she looks good i have a hard time NOT fantising about her in bed. It's just human nature. That's why I believe that guys and girls can't be friends for an extended perid of time.

I agree that it's natural to think of your friends that way- but unless you're really lusting hardcore after someone it shouldn't have to get in the way of your friendship.

But then again, most of my guy friends are gay.

Back to the topic at hand- I agree with most of what's already been said. If it's a close friendship I wouldn't risk it just for lust, but if it's more than that it's worth it. Just think- if she feels the same way- how beautiful that would be!

[lollib]

Do the 2 of you have a mutual friend that you could ask? Or would you rather not mention to anyone else? I know how that can be, things get around in a circle of friends. Honestly though, I would say, be honest but be ready for the worst. Hey you never know, something good can come from it. Just dont make it so it will be totally awkward b/t the 2 of you. I have no advice on how to accomplish that one though.

[pookie23]

Originally posted by lollib

Most guys think with their penises anyway- hee, hee!!

Who does?!?! I sure don't...*be quiet down there - you speak only spoken to alright?*

[Guest jaxl]

Originally posted by Saboteur

I suddenly realized how bad i want one of my closest friends... anyone know any smart ways to approach this? dont wanna cause a trainwreck. peace.

I had a really good friend who kept trying to get with me. It put such a strain on our relationship (the more I said no, the harder he tried), that eventually I couldn't even be friends with him anymore. Haven't seen or spoken to him in about 6 years.

Be careful, if it's a good friend, talk about it first and see if the feeling is mutual. Is the sex more important to you than the friendship?

[reliant]

Originally posted by lollib

Most guys think with their penises anyway- hee, hee!!

Originally posted by spragga25

Who does?!?! I sure don't...*be quiet down there - you speak only spoken to alright?*

LOL!!

[SPYGIRL3]

Originally posted by nitro449

If you're not attracted to them , then they must not be attractive. When I hang out with a girl and she looks good i have a hard time NOT fantising about her in bed. It's just human nature. That's why I believe that guys and girls can't be friends for an extended perid of time.

They are attractive to other people, just not me.....I mean they aren't like creatures from the black lagoon or anything.....My friends that I hit local bars with is my old crew and when I go to clubs or the City I have a different crew. My best friend is guy, I have known forever, no problems thus far:)